Question:
Does anyone not know how to react to the new attention after WLS?

I had open RNY on 7/15/2003 - started at 266lbs and I am 5'5. I have lost 48.5 lbs so far. It is very exciting to watch myself "melt away". Sometimes I enjoy the attention and other times I get embarrassed. I am not sure why but I can feel my face get beet red when people say how great I look. I have never been a shy person so I am not sure why I am having this reaction sometimes. Anyone else feel this way??    — laurab (posted on September 25, 2003)

September 25, 2003
My guess is that all of us used to have some difficulty fielding the compliments. Still fun when you run into someone who hasn't seen you since the operation. Eventually the novelty wears off and you just move on.
   — Chuck O.

September 25, 2003
Speaking for myself, after years of being 'invisible' and ignored for 20 years, it was difficult to figure out how to respond. Just a 'Thank you' and a smile is really all that is needed. I'll be 2 yrs out next month and I still get people saying how they can't believe the change and how they don't recognize me anymore. The haircolor change also throws them off. Now, I just like to keep them guessing and I just laugh. Chuck is right though, the novelty does wear off after awhile and sometimes you get sick of answering the question, "How did you do it?" Dont worry, you'll get used to it.
   — Kris T.

September 25, 2003
I just smile ad say "thsnk you, I feel great. " It is hard at times when some compliments are so back handed, Hey you look great , I always knew there was a pretty girl under all that. wow. It has taught me a lot about how to give a compliment. I also have observed some pretty intense jealousy from people who are overweight who have not had or been eligible for surgery. I am really working at making sure to compliment others around me , whether it be a new hairstyle, out fit, what ever. I find tht it helps defuse the 'embarrassment" and I felt funny going to work and having people gushing over my loss in front of other overweight friends. so I make a special effort to compliment others as often ans sincerely as possible.
   — **willow**

September 25, 2003
Hi! I am 6 months post op and down 110 lbs. and am soooooo glad you posted this. You are not alone. When I was a pre-op- I used to imagine all the time how wonderful it would feel to be recognized for something other than my weight- now that I've lost 110 lbs. I'm still being noticed for my weight lol! Are we ever happy lol? I do at times enjoy the attention and actually feel confide/nt and "pretty", however I feel totally uncomfortable, the majority of the time. I know I look much better than I did before and boy do I feel better, but I'm the same person with the same feelings. It's hard to break the habit of "hiding" from other people. I used to feel partly invisible to my surroundings, I'd pass through my daughters school, the grocery store, and other places with this "wall" around me. Now that the wall has been removed I feel so "naked" out in public. I can't go to my usual places without being noticed. I understand that most of these people that want to talk to me are being supportive and they believe that thier compliments are having a positive effect on me, however, it really causes me embarrassment. Ultimately, I am a people person and truly love to talk about a number of subjects- lately the only topic of conversation with everyone is my weight loss. I hate to be so negative about this, yet I can't wait until the novelty wears off. My sister-in-law calls me "skinny" in front of other people and hey I still have 70 lbs to go- I'm far from skinny, and I feel almost like I'm being "teased" in a way by her. I'm experiencing jealousy from my best friend and find it rude when people that didn't used to speak to me- all of a sudden want to talk to me - or stare at me with thier mouths gaping. I think the ultimate social discomfort I am dealing with is when men pay attention to me. I am married to a wonderful husband and have no interest in other men. I don't know how to handle thier comments or stares other than to ignore them- like I did 110 lbs ago. Even though the circumstances are different, I handle it the same way- as if it weren't happening at all. I wish I had some sound advice to give you about dealing with these "weird" feelings but obviously I am struggling with it. I'll keep checking back here to see other posters comments and advice- in the mean time- if you ever wanna chat- feel free to send me an e-mail.
   — lyndaleigh

September 25, 2003
I think we were all beautiful to begin with, I just can't believe this is what we had to go through to make other people see it! Although I do feel a whole lot better about myself, looks and health wise. My weight changed, not ME! Some people seem to forget that. I do love the new attention though :o) Good luck!
   — Sandy M.

September 25, 2003
In the beginning it was uncomfortable to receive compliments since you are not used to it. Almost a feeling of not deserving them. But secretly, I would love it when people noticed the weight loss! Now at 19 mo post-op, I just smile and say thank you. You'll get used to it.
   — Cindy R.

September 27, 2003
Hi....Yep, it took a while to accept those compliments gracefully! When someone told me I looked great, after a 50lb loss, I responded by telling them, "Thanks, I FEEL great!" then after a 100 lb loss I'd respond with "If I looked as good as I felt, I'd be on the cover of Vogue." Now,after a 160 lb loss, I say "Thanks. You look great too!"
   — Debby M.