Question:
How do you get out of telling church members about my wls?

I dont like attention and really dont want to tell anyone about my surgery but know they will be asking questions.I dont lie and I dont want to be sarcastic what can I say to my church members that will satisfy their curiosity and easy my mind?    — loisph (posted on September 18, 2003)

September 18, 2003
I know exactly what you are talking about. My husband and I both attend a large church. We both had surgery I had it 6/9 and his was 7/28 this year. he has now lost 75 lbs in 7 weeks and I have lost 60+ in 12 weeks (dont you hate men lose faster). Our church new we were having surgery, they just did not know why, except for the pastor, his wife a a very close few held by confidentiality. My hubby has decided to tell the truth to those who ask him, some ask him is he sick although he doesnt look sick, its just so drastic for him injust a very short time. As for me one lady said, "wow you look great.You have lost a lot of weight, How did you do it"? I told her, "I exercise a lot, eat a lot less with more protein, less carbs and tons of water". Its the truth and I did not feel bad about saying it. In fact I knew it would happen so I had the statement already rehearsed on what I would say.
   — Lisa G.

September 18, 2003
I would just tell them you are following a high protein low carb food plan. That way you are not lying. You can also tell them you are watching what you eat etc. You could be a great resource to another person thinking about the surgery so you may want to tell people. I didn't tell people except family until it was over because I was afraid for my job.
   — snicklefritz

September 18, 2003
Everyone has to make a choice about who to tell (or not tell) about their surgery (or anything else, for that matter). But be aware that, as you start to lose a lot of weight, everyone is going to speculate about why or how. I know because I was sure that one of the ladies in my office was dying from cancer or something and in fact, she had had wls. I didn't find this out until I went to her and told her that I was considering it (she was my immediate supervisor). She hugged me and told me that she was so glad - that she had wanted to suggest it to me several times but was afraid she would hurt my feelings. This really isn't going anywhere but to let you know that people are going to talk about you whether they know the truth or not.
   — Patty_Butler

September 18, 2003
Lois, I know the feeling about who to tell and not tell. My surgery is coming up Oct.2. Of all the people to tell, I wanted my church family to know the most. I really want to be covered in prayer. Every one will have opinions, goodness knows every one does whether you want to hear them or not. But it is important to have the support from your church family and close friends. This is just my opinion :) Best wishes...
   — Greattobe B.

September 18, 2003
I was wondering the exact thing. I have a home daycare and I keep a toddler from a couple in our Sunday School class. I will have to tell them that I need a few days off, but do I tell them because of surgery? I too want to ask for prayer, but don't know how to handle it. I have a ways to go, before I have to make any decisions. My 1st consult isn't until Nov. 26th. Sigh...
   — D. K.

September 18, 2003
While it is entirely your choice who you do or don't tell, I would like to let you know that I told my church I was having surgery the day before, to ask for prayers, and didn't specify what type. Post-op, when people asked, I told them-not everyone, but those who asked. Well, the support I've received has been incredible, and both my pastor, and another MO member of the church were so inspired, they've both started their journies, and will be having surgery soon. Do whatever you choose, but be aware of the great outpouring of support that is available to you as a member of your church. And good luck.
   — Kelly B.

September 18, 2003
Lois- I shared my story with my church members, neighbors and close friends. I was blessed that they all became partners in my recovery. People are going to notice your weight loss, so why not enjoy the attention rather than have to dispel the rumors that you are seriously ill (and losing weight because of that)?
   — SteveColarossi

September 18, 2003
I've lost 100 lbs now and everyone wants to know how I do it. Some people are really nosy and keep asking every time they see me (like the answer is going to change?) Anyway, I tell them that I'm working with a doctor and nutritionist (true) on a prescribed program for me, that emphasizes protien first. I'll then tell them that I exercise too and that I'm happy to be working with the team of professionals. I don't go into more detail. Let them speculate. I feel good and that is what is important! PS. You can ask for prayers anytime, without being specific! Blessings! CB - RNY 01/28/03 - 298/188/175
   — CrystalBroj

September 18, 2003
Hi Lois, This was a concern for me also as I'm very active in ministy of our medium size church. I knew it would be impossible to keep it a complete secret as my family is very faithful to all church functions. What I decided was to tell my Pastor and his wife and that way they could request prayer while we were away and reassure everyone that we were fine. But, once I returned there were a lot of questions, so be prepared. The ones I wanted to know I told and the others I just said it was nothing major and I was fine. If you are like me your presence will be missed from church functions so be prepared to get attention. I know it's not what we would like but you gotta remember mostly they are concerned and want to help in any way. Once I came home after open rny, my church family organized meals for my husband and children for two weeks while I recovered. Also, some close friends in church came and helped with chores daily and to check on me while i was home alone during the day.. So, be careful not to cut yourself out of a blessing from your loving church family.. Hugs & Blessings, Vikki
   — Vikki L.

September 20, 2003
It's up to you how much if anything you want to tell them. If I don't want to talk about it with someone, I tell them very politely I would prefer not to talk about it as it is private and attempt to change the subject. If they continue to ask about it, I tell them politely that if he/she can't respect my wishes to not talk about it that I'll end the conversation. Only once have I had to go that far. Most people will respect your wishes if you tell them you would prefer not to talk about it. Me personaly I'm very open about it, and if someone asks something too personal then I respond with I'd prefer not to talk about it. Good luck and God bless!!
   — mellyhudel

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