Question:
Did you discover underlying issues after WLS?

Hi everyone- There was a recent posting about a connection between sexual abuse and obesity. That subject has really got me thinking- has anyone uncovered or discovered issues such as childhood abuse after WLS? I am aware of times in my adult life when food has been my comfort, such as dealing with deaths or my son's disability. Does it all boil down to things we may or may not remember as children? Thanks, Mea    — Mea A. (posted on September 13, 2003)

September 13, 2003
I was sexually abusedasa child and used food to resolve many issues about it. I did have to deal with the idea of becoming a sexual creature again, something I've only allowed myself to do for brief times during my lifetime. The fat was a way to insulate myself from that. Luckily I'm married to a wonderful man who I can tell anything to and we will work on this together. I think you can almost liken it to someone with a drug/alcohol dependency.
   — janni

September 13, 2003
that is a really loaded question. this is only my veiw. i don't think there is really one reason for being MO. i do agree that food is a comfort. i love the high i get from eating something really good and the joy i get from how good it tastes. i don't drink, but food was my drug. i know i also used my fat to cover my body from danger(as i define it). i'm also 30 years old. i have gotten help with issues in my past. i didn't want to use my pain as a crutch or an excuse anymore for making the choices that i have made in my life. when someone hurts you it is like they take away your power, but when you get help.....YOU have all the power. i didn't want to let someone steal another day from me so i took control back. i realized if i didn't get help for my problems, that i was letting someone keep on hurting me for the rest of my life. i don't think everything boils down to what did or didn't happen to us as children , but i do think it helps make us what we are good or bad. just because something awful happens and no matter how bad it was doesn't mean we are doomed.
   — franbvan

September 13, 2003
I was wondering about what you/we use for comfort now that the food can't do it for us...I find myself drinking more now, don't really know why but maybe related to losing food? Kind of scary...
   — Kimberley E.

September 13, 2003
This question seems to come up a lot on the Oprah show.. About issues and being overweight. In my opinion(sp), I do not feel that every overweight person has issues. I do feel that genetics, and diff. cultures have a lot to do with weight.My family is Italian, and we always ate at ALL occasions; birthdays, anniverseries, holidays.I was at my aunt's bed side when she passed, it was not long beofre a trip was made to the local deli by family members. My whole family would "celebrate" anyway, and a lot of those celebrations were based around food.
   — Marie A.

September 13, 2003
I was not abused at all as a child, yet I have been overweight my whole life. But, my parents had four children in under four and a half years, so it was sometimes easy to get lost in the mix. I think I used food as a comfort for that, and just held onto it. I agree with other posters that there are probably as many causes for MO as there are MO people. I don't blame my childhood, or my overworked parents, for my food issues. They're my issues, and I need to solve them.
   — Vespa R.

September 14, 2003
My revelations came before WLS when I lost 200 lbs in 94/95. Sent me into a horrible depression that took 4-5 years and lots of meds and counseling to work through. Mine did not relate to abuse but to how my parents handled a situation. My oldest brother had a total nervous breakdown at age 17. I was 7 and had two brothers in between him and me. He was so bad that my parents were told to institutionalize him but they couldn't. So they got him treatment and counseling etc. and kept him at home. Well let me tell you it was not a quiet pleasant home. I feel that was the start of my weight issues. He was violent at times and I think my 7-8 yd old brain belt if I was bigger I would be safe. I started protecting myself at that age. YIKES! Unfortinately I developed horrible habits and hid food and would polish away tons of candy between the store and before I would get home, steal change from my mom for candy etc. It was amazing how much candy one could buy for $0.25 back then. <p>Anyway, it took me till losing the weight and getting depressed and into counseling to talk to my parents about my feelings. I was 34 when this occurred, so many years had gone by. Due to my lack of self-esteen about my body etc. I ended up in a less than ideal situation that I was very ashamed about and it took till age 34 to open up about that, which was 12 years later. Heck it took 9 months of working with my counselor to even tell him. That situation actually helped me to build the fat wall even bigger so I never had to deal with things. I was smart and very self-confident when it came to my career and that is what I focused on. It became my total life. <p>I do not blame my parents for the weight problems I had but do feel that situation started me down an undesirable path. Once I had the bad habits I kept it up and once I found that food protected me, so I thought, it just fed on itself. It really is a viscious cycle. I also was not very close to my mom back then and could not talk about things, which did not help. I am a totally different person today because of 8=1/2 years of counseling and getting my depression under excellent control. I still have some issues but I am dealing with them or learning to deal with them. Good Luck!
   — zoedogcbr

September 14, 2003
I don't think that anyone can eat themselves to the point of morbid (meaning it's gonna kill you) obesity without some issues. It could be as simple as food is a stress reliever for some people and it could be much darker and more involved. I also think that almost all abuse victims remember the abuse in part if not completely and that looking for that stuff if it is not there can be dangerous.
   — Carol S.