Question:
Has your spouse turned up the lovemaking since your surgery?

One of the things we talked about was more sex after surgery, but as of this moment - that isn't happening. And it isn't my libido that is lacking. I am at my wits end about how to be enticing to my hubby, but I am getting tired of the rejection. Anyone else dealing with this?    — Kelly V. (posted on July 29, 2003)

July 28, 2003
Do what another member said they did and their doctor told them to do this. Quit trying! This may trigger something in you spouse to want you more. There are other ways too, just use your imagination!
   — Patra R.

July 29, 2003
My advice:get lots of batteries! LOL I'm am just kidding. My husband had some issues with making love after my surgery and at first I took it personally, however when I finally approached the subject, he admited to me that he was afraid of hurting me and my newly operated tummy. I am 4 months out now things are much better, however he still has a fear of hurting my stomach. He is a little sensitive when it comes to things like that and maybe your husband is thinking the same thing. Keep trying to talk to him it may be as simple as his worry over hurting you during the "session" of love making. Good luck to you!
   — lyndaleigh

July 29, 2003
Have you asked him? In my marriage, we've always been extremely active but cyclical - and I can almost predict the seasons LOL! However, there have been many changes since surgery. There has been tentativeness based on the fear of hurting me...there has been feelings of rejection on HIS part because I've been so busy and involved in so many different things (cuz I CAN!!!LOL)...and I'm so busy I'm not as interested in him at bedtime because so many times I'm just exhausted from a full day! But you'll never know if you don't ask and get to the bottom of it..don't despair!
   — Mendi M.

July 29, 2003
I'm 5 1/2 months out and everything is as it was, frequency wise. When it happens it is great, but the new "me" hasn't sparked anything differently than before surgery. I stopped trying to initiate things and just told him he has another thing coming if he thinks I'll be responsive at 3 AM when I have work the next day LOL!!!!!
   — Fixnmyself