Question:
My surgery is 8/12/2003 and I keep having these terrible fears that .....

I keep having these sudden, irrational, terrible, fears that something will get screwed up and I won't be able to have the surgery. I even woke up one morning from a nightmare thinking the surgery wasn't really happening after all this time waiting, and that it was all a figment of my imagination. Was anyone else like this? How did you "slap" yourself out of the paranoia???    — E. V. (posted on July 3, 2003)

July 3, 2003
I was POSITIVE that something would cancel my surgery. I knew that I would get bronchitis the week before...or I would develop some health problem that contraindicated...or that my surgeon would have an accident...or that terrorists would attack the hospital! I wanted it so badly that I had to persuade myself it wasn't going to happen...that's fatalism! You are so normal to feel that way, and unless you are secretly hoping that it'll be cancelled (I had a bit of thatm from fear!) then the feelings are just a good sign that you have put a lot of work and hopes into this...try to record these feelings, so that when you're post-op and you are tempted to cheat, or you wish you hadn't done it, you'll remind yourself of how much you invested in the surgery. It'll be over before you know it, I promise. Just keep talking to the AMOS folks-this is the best support group around and we all know what you're going through. Cheers- Lisa lap RNY 23-Jan-2003 246/176
   — gamboge

July 3, 2003
Hi, we are having surgery on the same day. I still have to have a cardio clearance. I have tried over and over to convince myself that I will get clearance and be able to have the surgery. Then, I start thinking that I won't get clearance because of something being wrong with my heart or something. Then, I also think that I will get a cold or something right before and they will reschedule. You are not alone. I am semi-freaking out too. I want this so bad and I have had a very smooth time getting approved and I just feel that something is going to happen that will slow it down. Good luck. I don't have any answers for you though.
   — Kerri 4.

July 3, 2003
I'm not having fear, but have a hard time believing my surgery really will happen in 25 days. Everything about the process has gone incredibly smoothly for me - its like its too good to be true - sort of like the cutest guy in school asking you to the prom - its a joke, right? So I'm trying not to get too emotionally invested in the surgery happening - I know I want it more than almost anything right now, but I'm still having a hard time believing it - I haven't had any problems at all - yet - I sure want this to not just be a dream. You are not alone.
   — bethybb

July 3, 2003
Hi, I have been the same way. My surgery is scheduled next week!! On Friday the 11th and I have been so sure something would happen to screw it up!! Well guess what? Woke up with a head cold yesterday. Hopefully it will pass before my preop on Monday!!Best of luck to you!!!
   — WendieS

July 3, 2003
Hello "E.V." I really wouldn't worry about it. Sometimes when you want something so bad and haven't have much luck with other things in the past you think "this is too good to be true". Well, believe it will happen. Just like when you were a kid and couldn't sleep the night before you got to go to Disneyland and thought the day would never come. Well don't worry your day is coming. Unless, your psychic or something? LOL:)
   — April R.

July 3, 2003
My surgery is Sept 10. and I get so paranoid that something will happen to postpone or dare I say, cancel it, I wake up in the night. I start my pre op testing next week. My cardio clearance is first, that worries me. I've had one heart attack, a stent,two angio plasties and now I'm starting to have chest pain again. I keep telling myself maybe it's just stress. But I'm so afraid I won't pass the clearance. I did get a big chuckle out of Lisa's post, worrying about terrorists attacking the hospital. I thought I was the only one mental enough to worry about that, but I guess not:) Nancy
   — nancysho

July 3, 2003
You should read my profile, and my experience I went through after a whole year. I had anxiety's relatively equal to yours, but I came to realize that if one more delay stood in my way, it was not meant for me to have this surgery. Now, I realize that God did not mean for me to have this surgery with the BTC group. I came through my surgery with flying colors, I'm now 9 days post op, and my biggest complaint is that I WANT TO EAT! I know things will get better for me once I get on solid foods in another 4 weeks or so. My biggest problem post op was the thought of death. I asked the Lord to walk with me through my journey. I prayed, prayed and prayed, and I'm still praying for him to continue to walk with me. I think postive thoughts attitudes, along with faith is the key to success with WL surgery. Good luck, and remember to pray.
   — Pamela C.

July 5, 2003
E.V. I had a dream/nightmare that my insurance denied me for coloring my hair one to many times!!! We all have that same fear and anxiety. My surgery is Aug.5 sometimes I still don't believe it is going to happen. Good luck and best wishes
   — Virginia F.