Question:
Goofy sort of question
Ok, this may be a really weird question....My husband is a very attractive man. He's charming, funny, handsome, smart, great with our kids, and sexy. When we started dating 17 years ago, I was MUCH thinner, but I was never thin. I've always been on the "pleasantly plump" side even at my lowest weight. He's stuck with me through this enormous weight gain over the years and tells me that I get more and more beautiful every day (he's a keeper :) ). Here's my concern: I've always joked with him that he is a "chubby chaser" (no offense anybody, really) because he is honestly attracted to me even being obese. After surgery and I am no longer obese, should I be concerned that he will not find me attractive anymore if I get relatively thin? Anybody have this experience? What do you all think? Guys?? — Jen D. (posted on July 1, 2003)
July 1, 2003
I don't think you'll have anything to worry about. Just keep some curves
for him; he's probably like my husband and likes women who have some meat
on their bones and curves. He likes models like Cindy Crawford and Cheryl
Tiegs instead of Ally McBeal and Twiggy. I think he'll love you just as
much if not more when you lose the weight, becaue YOU will love yourself
more also. Self confidence is very sexy!
— Moysa B.
July 1, 2003
I was always attracted to larger ladies. I admit sometimes I look at the
before and afters and think the befores look better. Altough I know thinner
they are a lot healthier. My wife Jen had WLS and lost over a 100 pounds.
Yet I love her more than ever. It helps that she now weares spikey heels
occasionally, painted nails and makeup. Pre op she was so ill she didnt
care much about her appearance. Show your hubby lots of attention and
affection, and mention the positives like being able to do more both in and
out oif the bedroom:)
— bob-haller
July 1, 2003
OMG, I worry about the same things. My husband does prefer ladies with
curves, but he's also a keeper and I think will love me whatever (well, and
I've seen that in the last 12 years of our marriage, heck he's put up with
me this long!) I don't think I'll ever be "skinny", but no
matter what happens I figure he's stuck with me this long.... Plus Your
husband sounds wonderful and like a real keeper. He sounds like he truly
has a deep love for you and will love you no matter what your shape is.
— w8free
July 1, 2003
Hi Jen, I asked my HOT husband of 31 yrs this question. I wanted him to
give his honest opinion because truthfully, we haven't even discussed this
since I lost 120 lbs. It opened up a new area of discussion for us so
thanks for asking it! He is sexy, attractive, normal weight (even though
he has gained a few lbs from eating my leftovers!). He is a keeper too!
He said "No, I don't love you anymore now that you are thinner. I
loved you then and I love you now. Tell her that if her husband truly
loves her he will love her no matter what!" Through thick and thin.
Tell her that I am just glad that you will be around for a long time longer
now. Tell her that yes, I do like the fact that you are more active,
healthy, and yes, sexier. I love the fact that you can wear clothes that
are sexy and are more fun because you feel better! I would love you no
matter what size you are though. I will love you forever". Man, I am
ssoooo glad we had this discussion. I even tried to make him be 100%
honest by telling him "well, to be honest I like you a little thinner
and with muscles!" He has gained a little around the tummy and I was
just being honest so he would feel free to be honest too. He didn't change
his story a bit. God bless him. He is an angel! I even asked him if he'd
like it when I have a tummy tuck and get rid of the pannus. He said,
"yes, I will like that a lot! But I love you with it or without
it". Hmmmmmmmm. Interesting isn't it? I know you asked for guys
input on this so here is his honest answer. Anybody else have the courage
to ask their husbands, boyfriends, significant others the same question?
It is very enlightening to know that he loves me the same but I kind of
wish he'd have said "Oh, Marilyn, you are HOTTTTT now and I really am
attracted to you more now." But, then again, it is great that he
loves me the same.
— Mylou52
July 1, 2003
He sounds like a loyal guy. I wouldn't worry about it. You said yourself
he is a keeper!
— Marcy G.
July 1, 2003
I love this question... I've wondered this myself. I was on a major
starvation diet when I met my hubby (I'd lost just over 100 lbs when I met
him), I weighed in at 165lbs, which put me in a size 6... about 7 months
after meeting, I gave up that diet... I felt horrible on it, no energy and
all I wanted to do was sleep. Anyway, he's reminded me regularly along the
way up to my current weight of 288 that he finds me very beautiful...
before I had my breast reduction, I asked if he'd still find me pretty
afterwards... he was so supportive and reassuring that I was the most
beautiful woman to him and that had absolutely nothing to do with my breast
size that I couldn't hold onto any doubts I had in that area for long....
now that we're having this surgery together (we gained our weight together
which is actually funny... I worry about him finding me unattractive when I
honestly see him as the same amazingly sexy guy that I met 7 years ago...
actually, he's sexier because now I know he's an amazing person also, not
just a cutie!) Anyway, he thinks I'm a nut for having any doubts at all...
he just laughs, gives me a kiss and tells me to stop being silly. I guess
I should listen, because I know no matter what size he is he's mine, I'm
not givin' this one up for anything! :) So... after that long winded post,
I'd have to say, don't worry. ~ Kim ~
— Kimberly J.
July 1, 2003
Jen, if you've been married 17 years I would hope you could have a serious,
honest conversation about this issue with your husband. If you can't,
somethings wrong.
— LowieA
July 1, 2003
Hi there, Jen! My husband is the exact same way. When I got down to 250
lbs. I was the smallest woman my husband had ever been with! Now at about
180, I am 5 lbs. lighter than he is and we can wear the same size! I
thought for sure he would be turned off by my shrinking size, but this is
all new territory for him and he gets excited by it all. He actually has
me trying on his t-shirts and his jeans and whenever we go out shopping he
says he loves it, because someone will flirt with me or stare at me, I
NEVER REALLY NOTICE THAT!, but he holds my hand or grabs me by the waist,
he says that no matter who looks at me, I still want him. You said
yourself that "he's a keeper", then girl, I don't think you have
very much to worry about. Enjoy your journey , into a new you, with your
dear husband. Vi. Open RNY 9/23/02 down 142 lbs.
— Vi F.
July 2, 2003
Funny you should ask this question LOL. My hubby and I just talked about my
weight loss a couple of nights ago. You see I will be 2 yrs out in august
and have lost 140 lbs and a whole lot of inches. Anyway, I have been pretty
stable now at 140lbs for almost 6 months now and a few more pounds came off
putting me at 137 and when I told my husband about this he told me and I
quote " You better not get down to 110 or 115 or I will NOT like
it" This stunned me!!!!!!!!! We laughed about it and I told him that
no way would I get that low but, anywhooooo I know that he would love me
anyway. He said of couse I will!!!!! I know that he loves hippy women and I
know that I can actually FEEL my hips now. It is kinda of weird but,
irregardless if, he trely loves you he will accept you know matter what
size you are. You both just have to get accustomed to your new size and the
new sizes to come and love each other. Keep open the lines of
communication!! Best of luck to you.
— ncgal
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