Question:
I am almost 3 yrs post op and I have lost 117

I am a size 14 and I constantly see all of these people who are a size 8 or less on this site and others . is that the norm to loose so much ? have i failed at this surgery because I am not Skinny? I am wondering am I the norm or is the norm for people to get down so low?    — Lisa W. (posted on May 13, 2003)


May 13, 2003
I don't think you can compare what size someone wears with how successful their WLS was, anymore than you can say that someone who wears small shoes was more successful than someone who wears big shoes. Me, I would be happy to be in a 14 again. The smallest size I ever wore as an adult (during one brief summer in college when I lost all my excess weight) was a 12. And I was SKINNY - for ME. I have big bones, and a big skelaton. I don't think my BONES would fit into a size 6. I guess my point is, don't equate your success with wearing a size 8. Some of us are just built bigger - not FATTER, just bigger. You can be a lean, mean, exercise machine and still be in a 12 or 14 - so if you feel healthy, you've lost all of this weight, then pat yourself on the back, consider yourself a success, and don't compare yourself to those smaller built people...
   — johanniter

May 13, 2003
Lesah,I'm ll months out (lap RNY) with 125-130 gone. I'm 5'8" and stay between 180 and 185. I wear some 14's and some 16's in pants and a large or x-large shirt. I think I look great. I've wondered if I should try to get to a smaller size, but have decided to stay right where I am. I exercise at least 5 times a week, most of the time I eat a very healthy diet ( with the occasional piece of cake or chocolate thrown in for good measure), and am happier and more energetic than I ever imagined I could be. My family and friends tell me that if I lost anymore I would start looking sick and gaunt. Don't compare yourself to others. Everyone carries weight in a different way. It's not the number on the scale that matters or the size you wear. Enjoy your new life! Go buy an outfit that you've been wanting and flaunt your new figure. For me, I've always thought a woman with a little meat on her bones is more beautiful than a skinny, bony woman. Enjoy your curves. I know I'm enjoying mine:)
   — Karen H.

May 13, 2003
I am three year post op and has lost 127lb. I weight between 180-185.I wear some 14, 16, and depending on the cut of the clothing I wear some 18's. I am very happy with my size. When I look at old pictures of my self when I was at 305lbs, I thank God I lost as much as I have. I guess my mentality was that when I had this surgery it wasn't to get skinny it was to get healthy. I've achieved that goal. I don't think you should compare yourself with what size everyone else is.
   — Sharon T.

May 13, 2003
Lesha - There is a fashion magazine called Grace Woman (web site is www.gracestyle.com) that features "normal" sized woman, meaning women of all shapes and sizes. There is no one "successful size". You define success for you. Not everyone who has WSL reaches sizes 4, 6, or 8. What are some other ways you could define success for yourself? Are you doing more, have more energy, feeling better? Are you healthier as defined by medical criteria (i.e., Blood pressure in healthy range, good lab values, decrease in or elimination of medications being taken, decrease or eliminatation of symptoms of co-morbids, etc.). Are you exercising, enjoying life more, making healthier choices, feeling better about yourself, happier, etc? Are you living the life you want to be living now? If not, what is holding you back? I was a size 14 in high school and always thought I was as big as a house. Now I look back at my high school pictures and know that I was not as big as a house - I was really quite cute. I would be satisfied to be that size again, even though I would love to reach a size 6. But, don't let numbers define your success. I think you are doing great and are successful. Congratulations on your weight loss! Hang in there. Robin
   — rebalspirit

May 13, 2003
I, too, am no tiny girl after WLS. At 5'7" and 288lbs. 26 months ago, it wasn't attractive - now I am 175-185 and a size 14 (depending, of course). I still know I could lose some weight, and feel a little self-concious about these gigantic thighs, but you know what, I am beautiful, and damn am I sexy for 29. I felt fat as a teeneager at this weight, but not now. I am the size of the average american woman (average meaning normal, run of the mill, etc, can you believe it!) I get whistled at and flirted with a lot, which is great for the ego, though I am happiliy married. I feel healthy and my body is strong. I can still fill out some of the extra skin at this weight, too. Wear good fitting clothes, whatever your style, nice shoes, stand up straight and smile and the self-confidence will ooze out of you. Oh, and never, ever look in the mirror without your clothes on.
   — M. A. B.

May 13, 2003
There are so many different factors that depend on how much you can lose and what size you will be. I do think that a size 12/14 is pretty average. People do have different bone structures, I firmly believe the "big bone" theory is true and not just a myth. Some people do not have the capacity to ever get to a size 4. And also, a woman who is 5"7 won't get to a size 6 as easily as a woman who is 5'1." My best friend and I weigh the same (130lbs), I am 5'2" and wear a 5, she is 5'8" and wears a 10, just the way it goes unfortunately. Also, age can be a factor. Many older women find it harder to get to a small size, especially after children. Also, lightweights may find it easier to get to their goal, whereas people who have like 200lbs. to lose may come close to goal, but not actually get there. I saw your picture and think you look great! The average woman wears a size 14/16, so you are right there girl, and you still look thin to me! Goodluck to you :-)
   — Lezlie Y.

May 13, 2003
The others are all right. A size 12/14 is the average size for a woman today. You definitely have not failed, not when you started at over 300 pounds and are now a size 14! And best of all, you have maintained it for 3 years-you go, girl! As someone who just reached 15 months post-op, I am praying that I can say the same thing when I reach 3 years out. I see the ones who have 100 or so pounds to lose, the lightweights often reach the size 4,6,8's. And true, even some who start heavier get there, but for most, we do not get to those tiny sizes and our frames may not support it either. I am a size 10/12 and was once a size 8 (many moons ago) and people told me I was looking gaunt and too thin. Imagine me trying to be a size 6! Ain't gonna happen. I want to look healthy, be healthy and be able to eat well to maintain my weight, not starve to maintain such a small size!!
   — Cindy R.

May 13, 2003
Who cares what size you are now. You look good girl! Take a few rolls of film in different places, take a walk thru a mall in something sexy and watch the guys turn and look.So enjoy the new you. You look great! Congrats on such a successful loss.
   — cinchouli

May 13, 2003
Hi there,Lesah! You look amazing!! Maybe I shouldn't answer this post, seeing that I am not even 8 months post, but I wanted to try and make you feel better. I am down to 189 and I wear a size 20, just starting to make it into a 18. The last time I was this weight, I wore a 14, but for some reason I can't fit them right now. I have to agree with everyone else that it's not the size that matters most. I think it's that we are getting somewhere with this, we are actually becoming alive again and not cooped up in our homes or in our shells and most of us have this surgery to be healthy again and if you can feel that, be proud of all that you accomplished with your tool. Vi. open RNY 9/23/02 down 134 lbs.
   — Vi F.

May 13, 2003
You lok fabulous & healthy in your pix. But I do very much uunderstand wondering if where I am is "right". If you want to talk about it, you can always pop over to the Grad list. You can talk to others who either didn't get where they wanna be, or are confused about what size we actually ARE today. . http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG
   — vitalady

May 13, 2003
I am so happy to see this question because I am in the same situation. I am almost 2 years out and I weigh 170 lbs on my good days. I seem to bounce around 5 lbs every now and then. I fit in a size 14 and some 16's. It is a far cry from the 28's and 4X's I was in before surgery. I would love to lose more weight but I have come to realize that this weight seems right for my body. I guess in my mind I wanted to be one of those people who reach a size 6 but I don't think that is ever going to happen. I have to accept that I am going to be in the norm range and not skinny. This is the first time in my life I have been in the norm so I am content to be where I am now.
   — samizaki




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