Question:
Support from 1200 miles away

I had lap rny on 4/9/03... I am down 32 lbs and haven't moved a size in clothing yet... My b/f lives 1200 miles away and we are going to see each other for the first time since mid-March over Memorial weekend. I miss him terribly, and he has been supportive as much as he can from so far away.. but, I don't look different, eating isn't an olympic event like it used to be, and I wonder if he will be grossed out from the scars..... We have been together 5 yrs, and plan to spend the rest of our lives together, but oh, I don't know... I feel like for all this struggling I should have something to show for it... especially for him... can any one relate?    — Peg L (posted on May 7, 2003)

May 7, 2003
Well, if he has been supportive then he should not care about your scar or your appearance so SOON after surgery. Did you have this surgery to save your life or did you have it for your b/f? -- You know what I mean? It's just that you are now going through a major life changing event with your body and you still have to heal from the trauma and take care of yourself -- do you really think your b/f expects you to look so dramtically different, not even one full month out of surgery? If he loves you, he will continue to support and love you--you shouldn't worry. (BTW: Congratulations on your sugery [take care!!])
   — Kim W.

May 7, 2003
Peg, I understand your concerns, and easier said than done, but don't worry about it! First, if he has been your boyfriend for 5 years, he obviously loves you for who you are and not some scars. Even guys I've dated for a very short period of time didn't care about my scars, so someone who loves you certainly won't. We're more self-conscious about them than anyone else is! Also, just b/c you can't see a difference with the 32lbs. doesn't mean he won't! My boyfriend at the time of my surgery (who saw me everyday) started telling me he could tell a difference after only 2 weeks and 20lbs! So I'm sure he'll notice. It can take a substantial weight loss for ourselves to see it on our own body usually, just the way it is! And it can take a few months to lose a clothing size, but once you do start, you'll notice changes every month, so it goes by quicker once you get the big jumpstart. You're worrying over nothing- just be happy to see him and have fun- no worries! goodluck to you :-)
   — Lezlie Y.