Question:
I have started to withdraw. I feel like I am curling up inside myself.

My surgery RNY Lap is scheduled for next week and as most people, have run the gambit of emotions from sheer delight, obsession, doubts, apprehension, each one I anticipated - but this one. I have started to withdraw. I feel like I am curling up inside myself. I have a wonderfully supportive husband, daughter (22) and 7 year old son, but I am finding myself pushing away - not being nasty, but distancing myself, like going into a cocoon. Anyone else experience this? With the risks of the surgery I certainly don't want to go into surgery with my family feeling alienated! - Help!    — J G. (posted on May 6, 2003)

May 6, 2003
My surgery is next week as well and I feel the same way. I live alone 50% of the time as my ex and I share custody. I barely left the house this weekend....only for Church and had to force myself. I talked to my shrink about all of this yesterday and he assured me it is very normal, as a new "me" is about to be born. He compared it to when I was pregnant. Now a 9 month pregnant woman is not the happiest person to be around at times and I remember just wanting to be alone and absorb those last moments with the baby with me. An odd analogy but I think it has merit! Hey, next week this issue will be gone!!!!!!!!
   — Sharon B.

May 6, 2003
Maybe you are withdrawing out of fear that something is going to happen to you, kind of like when you go away (on vacation, business trip, etc) for a while we sometimes pick a fight with our significant other because we, unrealistically, think it will make it easier to leave or say goodbye. We all know the statistic is out there, but if this is the case for you, read the message board every day and see how many "blue-colored" postings there are that say every day how people made it through surgery just fine. Share any fears you have with your family, they are likely the greatest source of strength and support you could have. Good luck!!!!!
   — beeda

May 6, 2003
My surgery is also scheduled next week, and I have been feeling the same way. I know it is just temporary. I have been working on getting things ready for my husband and that helps to keep myself from getting too withdrawn? My suggestion is to work on getting your house ready and maybe any last bit of shopping you need to get done. Good Luck on your surgery next week!!
   — Rhonda P.

May 6, 2003
Wow, am I glad I saw your question. I too am having surgery next week. I too have been feeling a little down. I think it is our bodies an minds getting ready for the big change. Even though it is something we have been wanting and working towards, it is going to be a big adjustment. I am too also a single parent, and I think that has me a little worried, not having a husband around to help. I also think I am starting to mourn food. Lets face it, food have been our best friend for a long time. I keep thinking, I am never going to be able to eat _____ again. I think these emotions are all very normal. From what I have read, lots of people go through some depression after surgery. Robin
   — Robin T.

May 6, 2003
I experienced the same type of thing in the last week or so before my surgery. I think it's pretty normal, especially given the life-altering decision you've made. For me, it wasn't as much about alienating my family as it was concentrating on me and what I was going through. It passes, so don't worry about it. I'm 3 mos. post-op (down 50 lbs.) and have more energy and enthusiasm for everything now.
   — barbdeane

May 7, 2003
I was told that as we approach our surgery we come to grips with the reality of our situation - We are obese, morbidly obese, really really fat. Prior to the surgery we insulate ourselves and believe that we are not really that fat just chubby or chunky or buff or what not. But the fact that we qualify for WLS hits the truth home that we are more than chubby we are very obese. Remember the time where you poo-poo'd on the idea of WLS because that was for really fat people?... well you/we are the really fat people. After realizing this we don't feel like we fit in ... maybe even ashamed of our size and avoid the public (at least I did). We then are preparing for the great change. Rejoining society and fiting in like everyone else. Also we know we'll have to come to terms with our lifestyle that led to such obesity and with our horrible track record in weight management there is doubt and when we are in doubt we tend to hide more. <p> Any how... just my ramblings... <p>Take Care, Be Well, Be Happy!
   — John T.