Question:
The path to surgery
First I would like to share a little bit about myself and ask a few questions. I have not had surgery. I have been "looking into it" for almost 2 years now. I am 25 and I just couldn't see myself having surgery. It seemed so "drastic", so I put it off. Now I am back to the point where surgery is again a consideration. Still, I worry so much about the aftermath and whether or not I will be able to live with the decision or that I will live at all that I think until I resolve these issues I am not a good candidate for this procedure. My doctor agrees, but now I am beginning to reach a point where my uncertainty about the aftermath is less important than my obesity and it's affects on my body and my mind. Still I would love to hear from post-ops about the path to surgery. So onto the questions for post-ops:-). I was just curious about others who have gone ahead with surgery. Did anyone vacillate back and forth a number of times before having surgery? What was the path to surgery like for all of you? I know some people who learn about it and 2 months later they've done it with no regrets, but I am looking to hear some stories from people who had trouble with the decision and what led you to decide surgery was the answer? Any and all stories are greatly appreciated. It is through all of you that I am learning about myself. Thank you all for sharing yourselves with me. Your courage inspires me. — Sara A (posted on April 24, 2003)
April 24, 2003
My profile tells my story. IF I could have had just a glimpse of post op
life I would of begged to get on that OR table. Post op life without the
weight is WONDERFUL, although it does not fix your finances or broken down
vehicle. Sure WISH it did! POST OP IS THE PLACE TO BE! Living life MO is a
sentence, surgery saved my life, and improved my quality of life
dramatically!
— bob-haller
April 24, 2003
DEAR SARA, I MYSELF STRUGGLED FOR ABOUT A YEAR ON DECIEDING WEATHER TO HAVE
SURGERY OR NOT TO BE HONEST I DID NOT THINK I WAS BIG ENOUGH EVEN THOUGH I
WEIGED 320 I FINALLY DID IT ON 021802I WAS NOT HAPPY AT ALL AT FIRST I WAS
MISERABLE BECAUSE I COULD NOT EAT AT FIRST I STILL CAN NOT EAT MUCH NOW A
YEAR LATER BUT EVEN THOUGH IT HAS BEEN A TOUGH ROAD I AM HAPPY WITH THE
RESULTS I HAVE LOST ABOUT 100 POUNDSSO FAR AND EACH DAY DOES GET BETTER IT
IS DEFINETLY A CHANGE OF LIFE SO IF YOU DECIEDE TO DO IT IT WON'T BE EASY
BUT JUST REMEMBER ETHIER IS BEING OBESE. FROM KIM BOYCE.
— KIM B.
April 24, 2003
Well, I struggled with the "real" decision about 2 months before
I had decided to go ahead with it. Prior to that 2 months, I had
researched it for about 8 months. When I finally got serious about it, it
took me all of 2 months from seminar to operating room. I am only 2 weeks
out, and the immediate post-op is not very appealing dietarily
speaking.....BUT, I believe it's the best decision I ever made. At this
point, I have no regrets. In 2 weeks, I believe I'm down over 20 pounds.
The keys: GET EDUCATED (which you seem to have done in 2 years...this
website has a wealth of info) GET HEALTHY (I know that sounds weird to say,
but the healthier you are pre-op, the easier the surgery &
recovery...this means, start a healthy diet a few weeks before, drink lots
of water, walk everyday if you can, etc) PICK YOUR SURGEON & HOSPITAL
CAREFULLY (this requires no further explanation...the more confident you
are in him & his surroundings, the better your outcome mentally &
physically). I wish you all the luck in the world should you choose this
path. I will never regret it...Amy***LAP RNY 04-09-03
— Amy A.
April 24, 2003
Hi there, I am pre-op, but I can answer some of your question. I think we
all go back and forth about this surgery. It isn't anyone's first choice,
more like a realization that the diet/lose/gain cycle is one we cannot
conquer. I thought about surgery 3 years ago at age 26 but like you, I
couldn't imagine going through that. About a year ago I decided to
reconsider, but then changed my mind after watching the Al Roker special
which quoted a "1 in 200" death rate (that is not cut-and-dried
accurate, it all depends on your health, co morbs, surgeon's
qualifications, etc). But that made me say NO WAY! And I forgot about it
for a while. Meanwhile I gained more weight. Then one day at work I ran
into an acquaintance who had lost weight, and when I asked her how, she
said wls. Well, I was so unhappy with being so fat, and I talked to her
for hours on several different days, and she even referred me to her
surgeon. When I was able to physically see and hear about her success, I
changed my mind again and decided that I wanted to do this. I went to the
surgeon's orientation, which was very helpful, and that solidified my
decision. Another thing that REALLY helped me make my decision -- I read
literally hundreds of profiles and people's stories on this website. I
read profiles of people from my state because that seemed more 'real' to
me, and I especially read profiles of patients of my surgeon. there is so
much info on this website, and most people here will give it to you
straight without candy-coating it. My advice is to read read read. Read
this website, read books, there are many on wls out there. Talk to anyone
you can here or in person who has had wls. You are right to not go forward
while you are unsure. This is a life-changing decision and you must be
100% sure that it is what you want to do for yourself. For me, it came
down to knowing that I cannot live at this weight any longer, and my weight
could kill me tomorrow, so to me that outweighs (pardon the pun) the risks
of surgery (most of which are risks with ANY surgery). Just do as much
research on wls as you can, and as you do, you will come to know whether or
not this is the right decision for you. And of course you can always email
the members on this site -- I have made a couple of good friends through
this site, and received lots of information and support here -- that's what
it's for! Good luck!
— beeda
April 24, 2003
My profile has information about my decision making journey. What I will
write now is, had I known how wonderful I was going to feel as I lost
weight, I would have cut the pre-surgery vacillating in half. I feel so
much better physically. Mentally, I'll be honest and write "I still
have food issues!" My brain was not operated on! I have to change my
behaviors that allowed my hunger to rule my body, my need for comfort to
impact the volume of food I consumed, and my lack of discipline to guide
the poor food choices I made. This journey after surgery, takes work. We
have not been handed a "get out of jail card free". However, the
rewards are too numerous to name and at 12 weeks post op, I would do it
again tomorrow! Best wishes to you.
— Kim A.
April 24, 2003
I feel that the best answer to your delimma is "research".
I have been researching for nearly a year, and have gone
back and forth several times. Learn about your options. If
RNY was the only option, I wouldn't be having WLS. I was
almost resigned to it when I found out about adjustable gastric
banding. Research that. Also research VGB ad DDS .. different
people call for different procedures.
We all know that 'one size fits all' is a myth, right? Well,
that applies to surgeries too. If you haven't researched the
above-mentioned procedured, do so. At least you'll have a
thorough overview of what's out there. Talk to your surgeon
about what's right for you, and best of luck to you.
— Jeanie
April 24, 2003
When I first heard about this surgery, I thought "Wow, you'd have to
be DESPERATE to have that! I could never do it". Well, with another
year, another 30 pounds, more joint pain and severe sleep apnea, I was that
desperate. Here was my criteria for making the decision: 1) Have I tried
EVERY other avenue possible, and am I convinced that I will never be able
to do it on my own (Answer: Yes). 2) Is my life so adversly affected by my
obesity, that even if I end up w/ complications, will I STILL think I made
the right decision. (Answer: Yes). When I could honestly answer yes to
both of those questions, then I knew it was the right decision for me.
— mom2jtx3
April 24, 2003
well let me start off with saying that I started my journey in 2000 and was
scheduled for surgery in nov of 2000 and chickened out..then i just kept
coming to this site and was getting encouragement with everyones story .
Finally I decided that I would pray and ask god to inbed in my heart that
if this was the decision for me to open that door of opportunity and he did
when i went to the doctor again ,He asked me about getting the surgery mind
you he had never seen me before , So that was my open door and I said I
would let it be what god wanted i have prayed and had lots of support and
my second part of my journey will begin again on may 7,2003 . i ask myself
am i nervous and am i sure ? and to answer yes i am nervous and yes i am
sure I beleive with Faith in GOD all THINGS are possible ...Good luck with
your decision and may god open that door for you and let you in ...any
questions email me ...Audrey
— A M.
April 24, 2003
I first heard that surgery was an option for non-superstars in May of 2002.
I went to my surgeon's informational meeting in June, went to the
consultation in July and had the surgery in October 2002. The whole time
from May to October I researched my butt off but continued to go back and
forth with wanting the surgery and afraid of what would happen if I DIDN'T
have the surgery. I also was crying like crazy in the holding area before
surgery. I mostly struggled with thinking I was trading one form of
abnormal (obesity) for another (having my insides rearranged) and if I
failed at this weight loss attempt, I would have an abnormal outside and
inside. (I hope you're not saying, Gee Yolanda, thanks for giving me
something else to worry about!) I finally resolved it by thinking that if I
had to have my appendix removed, I'd do that. So why wouldn't I do WLS? WLS
is also a life saving surgery. This was the toughest decision of my life.
Make sure it's not about looks, that it's completely about your health with
an improved figure as an added bonus. Also, you must be doing this for
yourself and no one else. You state in your question "I am beginning
to reach a point where my uncertainty about the aftermath is less important
than my obesity and it's affects on my body and my mind". This is
about the surest I got before surgery. I was sure that there was no point
in one more diet attempt, sure that I wasn't going to be long term
successful on my own, and sure that I didn't want to be 180 pounds
overweight any longer. I came to understand that it was a much bigger
problem than my lack of willpower or self-discipline. I have lost 97 pounds
since surgery (about six months now) have had no problems and am very sure
that this is the best thing I've ever done for myself. Best wishes to you.
— Yolanda J.
April 24, 2003
Hi, Sara! I'm still pre-op but had to add something here. When I was your
age, I think I still had "hope" that I could conquer my weight
problem through diet and exercise. I don't know that I would have
considered WLS then. I only wish I knew then what I know now, at 45. I
know without a doubt in my mind that this is my only chance at ever losing
and maintaining the loss. That is why I now fully support my 23-year old
son's decision to have surgery. I cannot encourage him to diet and
exercise when I know the results of that first-hand. Still, you must be
completely comfortable and without doubts before you go ahead with WLS.
Keep on researching and asking your questions. You will find the right
decision. Good luck to you.
— Carlita
April 24, 2003
Hiya--- I am 25 right now and actually had the surgery when I was 24. I
never actaully changed my mind (and called the Dr), but I did cahnge my
mind on how I felt about it a million times. I kept thinking I'm so
young... and something will give out before I do (staples or sutures). I
had a fiancee and wanted to have babies... I didn't want that to change...
BUT I'll tell you something if I was this young and MO I would've never
made to the age I thought most people had WLS... (no really)...and all the
co-morbids I didn't have were only a matter of time... I nipped them in the
bud. As for my insurance battle... I had to fight for my surgery due to my
age and lack of co-morbids.. so by the time I got approved I was NOT going
to change my mind... I spent almost a year fighting for it. I have never
been happier... (as a matter of fact I'm getting ready top hit the gym
right now)... and I'm down 72 lbs in about 10 weeks (RNY 2/4/03). So
although females lose slower than males.. the YOUNGER you are the faster
you lose... ;) It is a tough decision, and I wish you the best... email me
if you'd like to talk: [email protected]..
— Leah S.
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