Question:
IM DESPERATE FOR ADVICE

I HAD MY SURGERY ON OCT 2, 2002 I HAVE LOST 87 POUNDS AND NOW I AM EATING LIKE PRE-OP. I DONT WANT TO BE A FAILURE AND IM LOOKING FOR HELP. HERE IS AN EXAMPLE OF WHAT I HAD ON SATURDAY A HALF OF EGG, CHEESE AND HAM OMLET AND THEN AROUND 7;30 PM I HAD A HALF OF CHEESE STEAK SUB (WHICH I ATE THE WHOLE DARN THING). TODAY I HAD OATMEAL FOR BREAKFAST THEN FOR LUNCH A SUBWAY COLDCUT WITH HALF THE ROLL AND WOW CHIPS. TONITE A FEW BITES OF TURKEY IN GRAVY AND ABOUT 3 FREEDOM FRIES. HAS ANYONE FELT LIKE I DO (A FAILURE) AND THEN REACHED THIER OWN PERSONAL GOAL? IM AFRAID OF FAILING THIS PROCEDURE. AND IM GOING THRU A DEPRESSION NOW DUE TO FEELING LIKE IM A FAILURE. I NEED HELP, AND WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE SOME ADVICE. I STILL HAVE 55 OR 60 POUNDS TO LOSE BEFORE I WILL BE HAPPY WITH MYSELF. THANKS SO MUCH IF ANYONE CAN PLEASE HELP ME FEEL LIKE IM GOING TO MAKE IT    — Schatzie1 (posted on April 15, 2003)

April 15, 2003
Dear Rose: You are not a failure. I am still pre-op but I just wanted to congratulate you on your 80+ pound loss. You have done great. However, stop two things. First stop over-do-ing it. Second and most important STOP beating yourself up for what you ate and start taking pride in what you eat. I have read post-oppers going to weight watchers. Maybe you should try a support group. Whatever you decide do NOT give up on yourself. Think of how wonderful you have done and I WOULD LOVE TO BE WHERE YOU ARE (ALONG WITH MILLIONS OF OTHER PEOPLE). Best wishes honey!
   — Marcy G.

April 15, 2003
I dont have many words of wisdom since I am only 2 weeks post op but I would like to congratulate you on your SUCCESS!!! 87 pounds lost, that is great. It takes alot of courage to do what you have done. The mind is where all our failures begin so try and stay positive and focus on your recent acheivements. Your doing great!! My sister is 3 years post op and she eats about as much as you and she looks great. She has found her balance and doesnt feel guilty about being able to eat like a normal person. I hope to do as well as you. If you need to chat I am here!!
   — Melissa B.

April 15, 2003
Rose, was that ALL you were eating? For saturday, I think you mentioned two meals. If that's the case, then you're not eating nearly enough. You should have 5 small meals a day, including or plus a protein shake or something along those lines. You should probably be eating about 1000 calories a day. You're choices don't seem that bad overall. You should just always make sure to stick to "protein first" rule. Like if you want oatmeal in the morning, make it, but you should have an egg or piece of bacon or turkey before that, b/c you need alot of protein. And WOW chips aren't bad, you didn't go for the real thing, did you? Don't beat yourself up! And after 6 months, the weight loss does slow down. I suggest a support group as well, that may help you. Goodluck to you and congrats on a great weight loss!
   — Lezlie Y.

April 15, 2003
Lezlie - Please clairfy your post that this is what YOUR surgeon recommends as it is a far cry from what MY surgeon's eating plan is. There is nothing wrong with your's but to tell someone that they must do this and that etc., when you have no idea what HER surgeon requires could lead to some problems. <p>One thing I have learned over the last 5-6 months of researching and then being post-op is that there are tons and tons and tons of variations on the protein post-op eating plan. I eat 3 meals, not 5 or 6. I eat about 400 calories a day, I do not use protein drinks and all of this is exactly how MY surgeon's plan works. He goes after maximum ketosis for fat burning by eliminating the carbs and therefore we do not need need as much protein or calories in the first 4 months or so. Slowly we will advance to the same place you are as far as calories but that's at like 1 year PO. It seems that no matter what each person's surgeon's plan is, it works. So the original poster needs to follow HER surgeon's plan. JMO Chris
   — zoedogcbr

April 15, 2003
My advice....It seems to me that you are lamenting about a failure that you haven't experienced. Please make sure you don't count yourself as a failure before you've actually failed. Perhaps you are forcasting a failure because of your past experiences with weight loss. As evidenced, by your almost 90 lb. loss over 6 mos, this time your weight loss program is working! I think you could begin to get concerned if you get consistent weight gains over a longer period of time. I would also advise that you shouldn't set up a goal weight as a threshold before you are happy. Work towards being happy today...don't wait. There is some real emotional work to be done after prolonged obesity. Please think about what happens when you reach that goal weight and then you're still not "happy". You might be able to find a sympathetic ear to work out feelings of happiness. I've done it myself and had many of the same emotions, and I can say it's not always the weight that cause unhappiness. Sometimes it's placing blame on a weight problem when it might be a larger concern. look up "Cognitive behavior therapy" in a search engine or find books about it at the library. It's an approach that is very helpful. Congratulations on the weight loss!
   — Scott L.

April 15, 2003
First off, let me say congrats on your weight loss! Secondly, I think you may be fretting over nothing here really. Now this might not be a popular opionion, but I read alot on here about folks eating 10g of carbs per day. I have personally never subscribed to the idea that we were supposed to be on the Atkins induction diet for the rest of our lives. I had surgery July 10th, 2002, and so far I have lost about 130 pounds. I still have about 30-40 pounds that I would like to lose. I do, and always have eaten SOME carbs with my meals. There are really only a few key things that I watch. 1) Protien count. The reason you are supposed to do high protien after this surgery is to prevent muscle wasting during the rapid weight loss phase of the surgery. If you don't get enough protien, you will lose muscle mass, which just makes it harder to take the weight off and keep it off. Watch protien. It comes first, but not to the exclusion of everything else. 2) Total caloric intake. I count up how many calories I eat everyday. I noticed that my weight loss seemed to really slow down and even stop for long periods of time after my 6 months. I started to cut calories, and this didn't work. I cut carbs, and that didn't work. Then I tried to up my calories so that I get a -minimum- of 1100 calories per day. Guess what? After I upped the calories, the weight has started to trickle off again. Starvation mode is a very real thing, and I had put my body into starvation mode after eating only 600-800 calories per day for 7 months. It is very easy for us, after eating so few calories for so long, to feel that we have been "bad" if we eat over 1000 calories, but sooner or later your body will demand that you supply it with what it needs. Personally, I eat my protien first, and then "backfill" with whatever the heck I want, until I feel full. You body needs fruits, veggies, and yes, I think even some starchy carbs to be healthy. Put protien first, but try to round out your diet with a variety of other things. 3) Vitamins. Take your vitamins everyday. Nuff said. 4) When you eat tons of protien, processing it can be very hard on your kidneys. Drink lots and lots of water. Yesterday I had... Protien shake for breakfast, shrimp in garlic sauce for lunch (yes I ate rice with it, and even part of an eggroll!), sunflower seeds to snack on, and a lean cuisine 9 oz salsibury steak + mac & cheese for dinner. 3 Propel fitness waters, and probably more coffee than I should have. It is not unusual at all for me to have about 10 corn chips with salsa as an evening snack either. Just do things in moderation, stay away from sugar and fried foods, get your protien first, and you will do great :) Good luck to you.
   — Greg P.