Question:
Commentary on the pro-RNY, anti-VBG vibe I've experienced on this site
Firstly, I have to say that I absolutely LOVE this site. Reading about everyone's real life experiences has been such an inspiration. But there's one thing I've noticed and I just wanted to put this out there. In many instances I've noticed a definite lack of respect for the very personal choices people make regarding the type of WLS they decide to pursue. To be honest, I'm really starting to believe that some of these folks are in the employ of the "Society for the Eradication of VBSs" or some other anti-VBG, pro-RNY group. LOL But seriously, some people seem very threatened (and I can't imagine why) by someone making a choice that differs from theirs. When I decided to pursue WLS, the first question I asked myself was WHO AM I AND WHAT AM I COMMITTED TO. There was no consideration for official statistics, someone elses experience, and certainly not someone elses opinion; that all came later. No one can tell me how successful or unsuccessful I'm going to be because they don't know me, and they don't know my level of commitment; there are too many variables to assume someone is just like you. So what I'm trying to say is when I ask a question about the experiences of those who've pursued the VBG (and I think I speak for all VBGers when I say this), I'm NOT looking for someone to tell me my choice is wrong and I'm certainly not looking for stats on failure rates, or anything else that constitutes the "official line" on VBGs (I've been to the same web sites and read the same information you have). What I'm looking for is support, good vibes, and an answer to the question I asked. Thanks for listening while I got that off my chest. :-) God bless. — Leni M. (posted on March 30, 2003)
March 30, 2003
You make some great observations! I agree, that people love to tell others
what surgery to have. While surgery is a serious decision and a personal
decision it is our individual decisions! I chose mine because RNY is the
only type my insurer would pay for and luckily it's the surgery type I
wanted. I have friends that have had each type and all are happy with
their choice! good luck
— jenn2002
March 30, 2003
I understand your being upset that your choice of procedure is being
challenged and threatened. This being said, all of us go into WLS with the
best of intentions of being successful. I looked at the stats, and decided
the VBG wasn't for me. Why?? Because I thought I was going to be the
"one" success story with every diet I tried. I was going to keep
my weight off. I went from 246 pounds in 1987 to 135 pounds in 1989. It
took me until December 2002 to gain it all back and more. I swore I was
going to beat the odds. When I went into this, I had to face the reality
that I couldn't do it with a typical diet,that I failed at the traditional
means of losing weight and I wanted to avoid the daily struggle of
decideing how I was going to eat, along with no longer having the current
and potential weight related co-morbities. My decisions are now made for
me. I feel lousy if I don't eat right. I am full when my body has had
enough to sustain me. I struggled with the thought that maybe I should have
a DS/BD. My Dr. felt it was too extreme for someone with my BMI. I wanted
to be sure I was going through this with the best odds of success. As
many others have said, these surgeries are tools. I know my limitations.
I have been dealing with the struggle for my entire childhood and adult
life. I you are sure this is for you, then great, but carefully discuss it
with your surgeon and see that you are truly selecting the procedure that
will suit you the best. Trust me, I didn't get obese on sweets either, just
good old Mom's cooking. Also, in again thinking about the odds, the thought
of going through surgery again to revise another failed attept at weight
loss was not something I wanted to think about. This is truly not meant to
be sarcastic or derogatory at all, I'm just sharing my feelings about it
since it is still so fresh for me. Lap RNY 2/18/03
— Fixnmyself
March 30, 2003
I agree 100%. I got the same vibe when I thought I wanted the lap band but,
insurance changed my mind not the negative comments I got here. I did get
more positive than negative. The support I get here is beyond anywhere or
anyone can give you. I have a lot of respect for all who comment on my
questions because I choose to take it all as just their opinion. One thing
all need to remember is that if you ask someones opinion be ready to get
what you get. It may be positive and may not be. You can not expect
everyone to have the same opinion as you do. If you go to the sites for
other forms of surgery you get the same vibe. I choose this site because
99% is good solid support no matter what type surgery you choose. Good Luck
to everyone who reads this. I love you all.
— Barbara S.
March 30, 2003
Leni, I do agree with you. We all share different opinions on everything.
And although that can be hurtful sometimes, especially if not expressed
right, that is what is so great about this website. We do have the freedom
to express personal opinion, so I think sometimes many of us have to not
take things said personally, b/c in almost all cases, they are not meant to
be personal at all. I think we are all courageous people for taking a step
to making our lives healthier and last longer- no matter what surgery we
had! But very good point!
— Lezlie Y.
March 30, 2003
Thank you so much for writing this. I too was getting the feeling that
somehow I was an idiot for choosing the VBG instead of RNY, but you are
right. It is a choice that is made because of what a person feels is best
for them. I chose VBG because I have problems already with nutrition
deficencies and don't care for sweets but I am an overeater so my surgeon
and I chose together. Again, remember these are but tools in our fight for
our lives. Thanks for speaking for all of us. I like this site also
because of the wonderful support and great success stories. I would add
one thing. I don't think one should use someones personal email just to
argue them down from what surgery you want. Personally, I have recieved
too many emails from people who keep telling me to change my mind about the
VBG surgery. I need support,but not critisism. Thanks.
— Linda K.
March 30, 2003
I am sorry if my posts about the VBG failure rate bother anyone. Our
support group is full of VBG revisions to RNY. Those of us who post the
failure rate are trying to help those who arent aware of the odds. As long
as you are aware of the risks thats fine. Personally I think the VBG will
be replaced with the adjustable band. Since they are basically the same.
Everyone needs to make their own choice and its good your aware of the
failure rate. Then too a large number of the anti VBG posts come from those
who had it and failed. In any case good wishes to a healthier thinner
future!
— bob-haller
March 30, 2003
When asking for the "guts & glory" I (and I assume everyone
else) thought we were being asked for both good and bad of it. I don't
think anyone meant to bash the vbg or upset anyone. Here you were asking
and people were sharing what information they had, including the less
positive aspects. I think everyone who answered was being honest in their
own respect and trying to be helpful by answering. And unfortunately we
aren't aware of how much research you've done, what website you've been on,
or whether or not you're aware of failure rates, revision rates, etc.
— Shelly S.
March 30, 2003
There are "successes" and so-called "failures"
(including surgical failures) lurking around these parts for just about
every type of WLS. There are also folks who clearly are
"advocates" of certain types of surgeries (the one the poster
had, of course), who just can't fathom others whose thinking processes or
conclusions came out differently from their own. Your pet peeve may be VBG
critics; mine is open RNY critics; somebody else's is something else. Over
time, I've learned that some who repeatedly "advocate" (while
protesting that they're "just sharing information!") generally
mean well and aren't going to be dissuaded from "helping" you to
think just like they do. ;~) Just stand by at the ready to pitch your
answers in, too, and hopefully people will get a more balanced picture.
— Suzy C.
March 30, 2003
HE HE HE! Shelly Sweet, gal, you stole the reply I wanted to share. Leni,
we only try to help and inform one another(from some of our failing
journeys) cuz we're all one big family here -- and you know how family
members can sometimes be. That being said, read Bob Haller, and Shelly
Scott, replies one more time and no hard feelings, love. Lots of success to
you on your journey. Dream on & God bless
— JUNE P.
March 30, 2003
Thank you all for such thoughtful replies. Just reading all the answers
illustrates how diverse people's thoughts and opinions can be. I guess in
a way this illustrates my point perfectly. But no matter what choice
people make, every time I come to this site I'm inspired by their struggles
(which I can relate to) and especially their successes. Again, thank you
for the many perspectives on this issue... made me think.
— Leni M.
March 30, 2003
Hey were no different than docs, they dont agree on these issues either.:)
— bob-haller
March 30, 2003
I couldn't agree with you more. Every single time the letters VBG are
printed all the so called statistics are sent as replys. (by the way, I
have been researching this, even post op, and I have NEVER seen these stats
printed anywhere but here. There was research done on the 'failure' rates
(of all WLS) but the stats were considerably different and there is more to
it than people here want you to believe) I am getting pretty sick of it
too. Do these people think that there is no 'failure' rate for RNY? I
just read a question from a woman today, who had the RNY and now wants a
revision to that. Sure, print personal experiences, good and bad, but if
you just want to push the RNY because you think it is better and all you
know about the VBG is what someone is your support group told you, try to
keep out of it. You just don't get it unless you've lived it yourself.
— salymsmommy
March 31, 2003
I think Shelley may have hit the nail on the head, and that is, that the
responder may not know the level of research and knowledge that the poster
has about the surgery types and is just offering their experiences (those
who had that type of surgery and the failures/complications/experiences
they have had). But your right, if the poster is not asking which type of
surgery they should choose or something along those lines, then others
should not jump in to criticize the poster especially if the poster has
already had a surgery other than the RNY.
— Cindy R.
March 31, 2003
I think that it is important to do what you think is best for you. I think
that there are probably many out there like me who wanted a different wls
but the ins would only pay for a specific type...in my case open rny. Even
among rny'ers theres the argument of lap vs open. Whatever wls you have,
work it to its fullest to reap the benefits~~~
— cherokey55
April 2, 2003
I don't care if people share their opinions. But when people spread
misinformation (unknowingly I assume) about the lap band, it chaps my
hide!!!
— M. B.
April 5, 2003
Wow you must have read my mind. I personally wish that the site could be
partially divided into post RNY and post VBG VBGs could get more feedback
and more love. We seem to be in the minority but I am very please with
mine done on 1/28/03 and I am down 32 lbs. My reason for chosing this are
simple I did not want malabsorption and dumping. My dad had a bypass many
years ago because of a rupture in his stomach. He suffered greatly! Sure
he lost all of his weight (even tho he was not overweight) but he was not
healthy afterwards and could never keep any weight on. My doctor reminded
me that these are all tools, some work for some people and some don't. If I
need to have a revision in the future I will consider my options then.
Until then I am very happy with my choice. Can't we all just be happy for
each other instead of caddy!
— Alma W.
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