Question:
Help!!! I'm 6 1/2 weeks out, and regretting having open RNY surgery ...
... I've had a few complications with my incision (It's had to be reopened twice for drainage), being dehydrated (I' can't seem to get enough fluids down), and Urinanry Tract Infection (which I'm worried wasn't taken care of). I had to go to the ER to get fluids beacuse I was so weak. I'm constipated, and tried everything under the sun to help it. The only thing that works is suppositories, and that is extremely unpleasant (ouch). I shake from emotion when I eat because I'm afraid I'll not watch myself close enough and eat too much and get sick. I used food for comfort, and I haven't found an alternative for when I feel like eating A LOT. And having to change my blood-y, puss-y bandages twice a day and having to shove gauze down into my incision for over 6 weeks has really taken it's toll on me. I have a small child under 2 that I thought I would be well enough to take care of on my own without problems by now. Help ... — Heidi H. (posted on March 24, 2003)
March 23, 2003
I don't really have an answer for you. But, you seem to be getting
depressed over how hard it is to get healthy. Have you talked to you
doctor about some face to face one on one support. Maybe talking to a
counselor who understands gastric bypass. I was bummed out for about 4
months after surgery and I cried all of the time for a long time. I
understand your frustration, I'm sorry for your agony. Try to have a
better day.
— [Deactivated Member]
March 23, 2003
You've gone through a rough time and I totally understand the way you're
feeling. I had complications from my TT and it gets really old. Are you on
antibiotics? Although its no comfort now, you will be happy with the
surgery in a few months. I hope your doctor is working with you close to
get that wound problem cleared up. I suggest sipping fluids constantly so
you don't dehydrate. you need all the fluid to heal. Feel free to e-mail me
if you want to talk.
— ZZ S.
March 23, 2003
I am 5&1/2 weeks out and just wanted to let you know that you aren't
alone with a lot of what you're going through. I've had to have my
incision cut open to drain. It is closed now, but it was open for about 4
weeks. Would it help to have a home nurse clean and pack it? My insurance
covered it 100%. I only used her until the worst of the drainage was over,
but it took a lot of stress and worry off my shoulders. No UTI, but I had
thrush and a 4-week-long yeast infection that required separate trips to my
PCP. I throw up pretty easily...when I overeat, when something doesn't
agree with me, when I drink too much...have taken to carrying my tupperware
bucket around with me most of the time. My surgeon told me that she would
"undo" everything....at the 6-month mark. Her reason being that
virtually no one has these regrets at that point. So I'm learning the
virtue of patience. Hang in there...I'm sure it will get better for both
of us!
— Amy W.
March 23, 2003
I am so sorry you are having all these problems. I am six weeks out and
altho i have not had the problems you have had, I so regret that i had this
surgery. The only thing that keeps me going iss knowing that it was the
last option for me. i miss being able to eat so bad. I am living on
cottage cheese and eggs it seems. But yesterday i was at the flea markwet
and smelled popcorn and treated myself to some. Did not hurt me at all and
was so good. maybe I will feel better as i venture to try new foods.
— Delores S.
March 24, 2003
Im sorry its been so hard! I got really depressed after my surgery i
regreted haveing it. It is normal to have these feelings, there were some
days that i cried from morning until night. But i can honestly say now that
it was the best desicion i have ever made. I am so happy now! you to will
be happy! When everything is healed up and the scale is dropping you will
see that you made a wonderful desicion. Just please hang in there and take
it one day at a time. before you know it you will feel better than you ever
have!!!
— lisa N.
March 24, 2003
I kept a cup of ice at my desk and sucked on that all day. I sipped on
sugar-free sports drinks and I had the popsicles for babies--to keep them
from getting dehydrated.
— Wanda R.
March 24, 2003
Sometimes it does feel like "what next"? But you ARE in the
hardest phase, the absolute hardest- and it CAN and DOES get better, please
hang in there. Usually the first three months are the worst. During the
first weeks I had a heck of a time with the anesthesia (it makes me soooo
depressed) and while I had no complications- sometimes what we cannot see
is harder to deal with. You too, could be having the foggy headed
depression on top of your complications and food mourning. But it CAN and
DOES get better. Just try to get that liquid in....
— Karen R.
March 24, 2003
Heidi- I'm so sorry you are having problems. And whether some of us have
complications or do not, I think early on the thought "why did I do
this to myself" runs through many of our minds. I like you, had
complications, but later on. The 1st 6 months were almost too good to be
true. But then I developed a perforation in my new pouch and marginal
ulcer, and 3 months after emergency surgery for that, my incision is still
leaking and bleeding and causes me a great deal of discomfort. My point:
this surgery has many risks, but overall in my opinion, I believe it is
well worth it. It WILL get better for you. The first few months are very
difficult. I'm not trying to disway your opinion, I know how bad you are
feeling. But I think it will get so much better for you, and eventually may
be happy you did this. I don't regret this surgery at all, for me being
thin and (eventually) healthier is everything to me. <p> Have you
tried increasing your fiber? Citracel or benefiber can help with your
constipation. the first few months, whether you have problems or not are
very rough. We have to learn to eat slower and alot less, and we have to
drink alot, but don't have the "gulping" ability we did pre-op.
And when eating, just measure everything before (usually no more than 2oz
at your stage), so you don't have too much on your plate. That way you
won't have to worry about it while you eat and get sick over it. Our bodies
have been through major changes, so we are tired and weak. I promise, this
will go away. I am 10 months post-op and despite having been through a
great deal, I am so happy overall. And I actually have energy again and do
not sleep as much as I used to! I truly wish you the best of luck and hope
you feel better. If you ever want to talk- just e-mail me!
([email protected])
— Lezlie Y.
March 24, 2003
Heidi, first of all, anyone going thru what you are going thru now, its
understandable that you are feeling unhappy with the results of the surgery
so far. And it doesn't help you much right now to have all of us say that
it will get better. It's true of course that it will get better but it
must be hard to see that in the here and now. Your feeling bad and want
your comfort and the comfort you are used to is not available to you. I
know its tough. Does your doctor have a support group you can talk to? If
not a support group, how about some of his post-op patients that are much
further out-sometimes just having a friendly post-op around to talk to and
to comfort you can help. As for the food for comfort, that is a tough one.
Many, many of us also used food for comfort-in fact, I still do to some
extent but have learned how to balance that need with ensuring that I don't
over do it and then regain ( a fear we have much further out than you).
Keep in mind that altho you can't eat too much right now, the further out
you get the more you will be able to tolerate, so that food is no longer
something to fear, but will become a source of great pleasure. I can eat a
comfort food now, like cookies, and not eat the entire box as I did pre-op,
but can be satisfied with just a few of them. As long as I build it into
my day, along with the treadmill and tons of water, I can have my treats
and comfort food and still continue to lose or maintain. When you are
feeling better, you can also learn other ways to stay away from comfort
foods, like EXERCISE, or a hobby. As for the hydration, are you carrying a
water bottle with you everywhere? I mean every second of the day, attach
it to your body and force yourself todrink. This is important and will
also help with the healing process.
— Cindy R.
March 24, 2003
I, too, was very depressed and regretted having the surgery early on. I
went to the ER to get some fluids because I couldn't drink anything -- it
all made me sick. And, it was much more difficult than I expected to lose
my food hobby. My husband was so understanding at first and then he got
very frustrated with me for not eating or drinking enough. Eventually -- a
long time later -- I felt much better. I can eat regular foods now and I
have lost 114 lbs. My surgery was just over a year ago and I am so happy
with the results. Hang in there!!
— jm3218
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