Question:
ANYONE ELSE AS LONELY AS I AM WITHOUT FOOD?
I'm starting to realize that I used food to fill up this huge lonely space inside of me. I'm feeling so depressed and lonely that I can't stand it. I hate going home to my empty home and I've lived alone for 13 years! How do you cope with this loneliness now that food can't make it go away? — Nancy H. (posted on February 6, 2003)
February 6, 2003
I want you to know you are not alone. So many of us have the struggle as
you have it now, re-learning how to live without the constant companionship
of food. I went through an intense mourning of food, obcessivley watching
the Food Network, cooking elaborate meals that I couldn't eat, reading
gourmet magazines. This will pass, if you take some basic steps to let it
pass. You need to realize that this super-restrictive food time is not
permanent. At 2 1/2 years postop I eat a wide variety of foods, and am
satisfied by them. You also need to take a look at ways that you can
re-aquaint yourself with other aspects of your life. If you are not going
to a local support group, you should find one and start going immediately.
If you are going, find a couple more! I was going to 3 separate support
groups early on in my journey. Find a way to get out there and live, learn
something new, go to a class, or the gym, or volunteer somewhere. I think
one of the hardest things about WLS is having to face all of those things
in our lives that we have been soothing with food. Good Luck to you, and
please feel free to e-mail me anytime.
— Cara F.
February 6, 2003
I certainly felt this way too. My friend was gone, as well as the reason
for my social outings. I have learned to replace this friend with new
ones, such as the fitness center. The first few weeks were the hardest, as
I was missing my friend and having head hunger. It will pass, I am sure.
Remember, you are not alone - you have all of your friends on the internet!
— Laura B.
February 6, 2003
BOY...do I hear ya! I actually thought that life ceased to be any fun if I
couldn't eat the way I used to. I'm pretty sure most of those feelings
were mixed with a little post op depression. It ALL goes away. The head
hunger, the LUSTING for your old way of eating, and the post op depression.
Here's what will happen when you are finally able to have a general diet.
You won't like or want A LOT of the things you think you wanted in the
beginning. It is a funny phenomenon that happens to us. Once you are on a
general diet and can eat what you want to eat, you will see that such a
tiny portion TOTALLY satisfies you. Hang in there and know it all gets
better. (Open RNY 10/30/02 -95lbs)
— Ginger M.
February 6, 2003
Hi! Do you have a hobby? Or something you always wanted to study? There
are clubs for every type of interest, and I bet as time goes on you will
rediscover passions that will get you out in the world... I am pre-op, and
because of my weight my world has steadily shrunk over the years... I once
was active, working in the yard, playing basketball with friends, etc. At
my last doctor visit I was told to go home after work everyday and put my
feet up! I am not even allowed to walk for exercise until after my
surgery, that is the position I find myself in. SO, if I am fortunate
enough to get to the "other side" I hope to regain some of the
things I have lost... God bless you, and remember we are all here to help
each other... write me anytime you want!
— Tim W.
February 6, 2003
hi there :) i feel for you as i know exactly where you are coming from.
when i was very new post op, i had post op blues,and this head hunger like
you wouldnt believe, i thought my life as i knew it was over. i mourned the
loss of my friend food. life as i knew it did change, but for the better
and for that im eternally greatful.i think it will always be a struggle for
us but with time, i notice it gets easier. i do notice that instead of
food, new clothes have become a new friend LOL i also try to get out more
and im singing and im into my crafts and reading and exercising, anything
to keep those food demons at bay! there are times when if im feeling down
or stressed or just had a bad day, i miss being able to eat and eat and eat
but im so thankful i cant. i just refer to a preop pic of myself and am
reminded of a dark place i wish never to return to. that always gets me in
check right quick! i wish you te best of luck and please if you ever need a
friend to listen, im here , email me at [email protected]. best of luck
to you sweety, hang in there and you are not alone! :)
— carrie M.
February 6, 2003
Hi, Boy do I know where you're coming from, the first 8 months I was soooo
depressed because I felt deprived and I missed my life long best friend
(food. Now I'm almost a year out and my whole focus has changed, sometimes
I even forget to eat and sometimes I just have a piece of something and I'm
satisfied, as to before a whole package was a serving for me now I eat like
a small normal person and that's fine. It takes a while but it will get
better and better, and the best thing is I'm now down 130lbs and counting.
Take care, Diane
— Diane B.
February 6, 2003
You should find a good shrink and if that does not help look at your
"Before Pictures"!!!! I'm not being mean, I'm SOOOOOOOO
serious...:)
— KLJ B.
February 6, 2003
YOU NEVER HAVE TO BE ALONE. GOD IS ALWAYS WITH YOU. IF YOU NEED A FRIEN,
I'D LOVE TO BE YOUR E-MAIL FRIEND. MY E-MAIL IS:[email protected]
PLEASE WRITE SOON.
— Shirley F.
February 6, 2003
Nancy, you are still a new pre-op, so adjusting to this life without your
old friend, food, is a tough one early on, especially when your diet and
amounts are quite limited. Trust me, it does get better. No, you will no
longer be able to eat the entire bag of microwave popcorn, but you will be
able to eat 1/4 or a 1/2 of a bag again. No, you can't eat the whole
pizza, but you can have a slice, or 1/2 a fast food burger or a few fries.
Life is not over, and you can eat your fav foods again, its just better now
because you will have more control and fill up faster, quicker on so much
less. You may also be experiencing the hormonal blues, which many, many
new pre-ops feel, its from the quick release of hormones due to the rapid
weight loss. Going to your doctor for some short term meds to help you
thru is often suggested. The support group is another outlet for you-find
one near you and attend. There are many, many of them in the same boat as
you. Perhaps you could have a buddy that you could call when you start
feeling lonely to help cheer you and get your mind off of food? I know
that I use exercise to help take my mind off of food-I have a treadmill in
front of the TV and I jump on there for a while and watch TV. Takes the
mind off of food. And if none of this works for you, seek professional
help. Its worth it. Now that you are working on your physical well-being,
we don't want to ignore the mental well being.
— Cindy R.
February 7, 2003
Best advice - get a dog if possible - one that can walk/run with you while
your exercising
— lindajenkins
February 7, 2003
I chase it away with 100mg of Zoloft and by working on all the projects I
was too tired to finish before I started losing the weight. It gets better,
really.
— Chris P.
February 7, 2003
Nancy, get thee to a counselor, ASAP! You need some help to learn how to
build a life without hiding behind food and fat. And if you don't get
help, you will most likely find a way to sabotage yourself. It's really
scary to face the world without all that fat armor, and food medication.
Good luck, and you CAN do it!
— RWH G.
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