Question:
Will be 3 Years Out in April. I Have Gained 20 Pounds and am Freaking Out!

I'm so ashamed for this post. I had felt like such a success with my VBG-to-RNY revision and subsequent abdominoplasty, but now I am experiencing the same issues I had with the VBG failure in 1986. Last fall I started fluctuating 10 lbs. Then my clothes became too tight and I knew the fluctuation was a gain. I have avoided the scales for fear of the truth, only to find this morning that I have gained 20 lbs! I am devastated! I feel like such a failure! My clothes don't fit, I don't have the energy that I did, I feel like I weigh 355 again, and the ultiamte fear is that I eventually will. I don't eat very much and have changed my diet to reflect high protein and low carbs since January 1, but nothing is coming off. I do not get the exercise in that I used to, I know, but I do not eat poorly. Once again food and weight has become the focus of my life and I hate it. I miss the mainteance days where I was a normal person and not food-centered. I feel like I would have to do a liquid protein diet to lose anything. I am very depressed about this. Any advice is appreciated!    — [Deactivated Member] (posted on January 29, 2003)

January 29, 2003
Denise, getting depressed is not going to help you get off those 20 pounds. Instead of berating yourself, take charge and take action. Remember Nike's logo, "Just do it". Adopt it as your own. Its getting back to basics. Examine what you eat and how often you eat. Are you eating enough? You say that you don't eat vry much. Well, guess what? that could be a problem. You need to constantly eat small protein based amounts of food to keep the metabolism working. Are you getting in enough water? Thats very important. A good tool to keep the weight down is to get on the scale every day. When I was pre-op, I too avoided the scale and just pulled out the stretch pants. Usually by the time I got back on the scale to gear up for another diet, it was 25 or more pounds. Now I weigh every day and if I see the scale go up, I take action right away. And now, for the exercise. I have found exercise to be the key to getting weight off and keeping it off. You say you do not get the exercise in that you used to...well, you've answered your own questions...get back to exercising and do it consistently. "Just do it". You'll have that 20 off in no time.
   — Cindy R.

January 29, 2003
Dear Denise, The first thing in regaining some peace is to regain the control. We only panic when we feel we have been victimized!!! You are not a victim. I love what the other posters have said and it is so true. Go back to basics and Praise the Lord that you havent waited and gained back 40 before doing something. Say a prayer, take a deep breath, remember what you may have forgotten and then TAKE BACK THE CONTROL OVER YOUR LIFE!!!!! You can do it again. P.S. you didnt say, but also are you sure that there are no staple line disruptions and so forth. Very important to rule out any medical reason for the gain. Good luck and God Bless. Darlene N.
   — darlene N.

January 29, 2003
Denise, I have been reading this site for almost a year. I am only (almost) 8 mos out, so I can't really help. :) I would second some of the other posts. Choose a regular time to weigh, it will help you keep an eye on things to re-evaluate when necessary. Watch your basics - water, protein, exercise. Keeping a journal could be a great tool - to help identify if you aren't eating enough, or regularly enough (I still struggle to begin my day with something for breakfast), or wisely. Whatever! I know, some help I am! I wanted to tell you though, how important it is to me to see posts like yours. I think many people experience struggles with old habits. If you don't post about it, everyone thinks they are 'failures'. If you do post, you can help yourself and the thousands of readers who may be at that point or headed there. Be strong! I think you'll be posting your success with this 20 in no time!
   — Mendi M.

January 29, 2003
Denise, I am still a fairly new post op (6 months out) but I lost nearly 80 lbs 13 years ago then gained it all back so I can feel for you. You are standing at a fork in the road.. you can choose to go either way; get down and give up or grab them boot straps and say Heck No I refuse to go back where I was. Your tool is still there.. it hasn't gone anywhere, it just seems like it's gone. It is so easy to get depressed and down, and then give up.. but you DON'T want to go back where you were... you have worked too hard to get to here! I have a few suggestions.. first, go get a check up with your surgeon.. make sure there isn't a medical reason for your pouch not working properly, Then if all checks out pretend you are back to your first post op days.... follow that diet the same way.. see if you can reset your pouch. Another suggestion I would strongly recommend is to go re read your own journal you did here. This will take you on the emotional journey you need to get yourself back to where you want to be! Take the time to remember your past journey, the goods and bads. I imagine that you will feel a renewed sense of accomplishment.. you have done GREAT girl! Don't give up now.. Your in my prayers. You can't change what has been, but you can change what will be.... I have always taught my children, you can and will make mistakes, but instead of dwelling on them and feeling bad about them, learn from them and try not to make them again! A mistake is just a painful lesson, forgive yourself and move on to the new day! Tami
   — Tami D.

January 29, 2003
Denise, unless there's some kind of mechanical failure and/or you're just mindlessly eating, it sounds like what you're experiencing is the VERY COMMON bounceback, AKA the 2 (or 3)-year wall. This is when you're considered "normal" and have to work the surgery rather than having it work for you. Remember the tool? Well, here is where it comes in...you can lose those pounds, you just have to work it now, and you may find, as frustrating as the diet mentality is, that's it's actually a lot easier and much more satisfying now to lose it than it was pre-surgery. How? Kick the carbs and up the protein, shakes especially. Don't freak out, you're not a failure! Congratulations, you're NORMAL!!! Or should I say, be careful what you wish for... <BG> Leslie 3 1/2 yrs post-RNY
   — Leslie F.

January 29, 2003
Denise, unless there's some kind of mechanical failure and/or you're just mindlessly eating, it sounds like what you're experiencing is the VERY COMMON bounceback, AKA the 2 (or 3)-year wall. This is when you're considered "normal" and have to work the surgery rather than having it work for you. Remember the tool? Well, here is where it comes in...you can lose those pounds, you just have to work it now, and you may find, as frustrating as the diet mentality is, that's it's actually a lot easier and much more satisfying now to lose it than it was pre-surgery. How? Kick the carbs and up the protein, shakes especially. Don't freak out, you're not a failure! Congratulations, you're NORMAL!!! Or should I say, be careful what you wish for... <BG> Leslie 3 1/2 yrs post-RNY
   — Leslie F.

January 29, 2003
Lots of people gain weight with marriage- How about encouraging your sweety to go for a walk with you? Go back to basic- water, walk protein and Good Luck
   — ~~Stacie~~

January 30, 2003
There is no need to feel ashamed. Really! Surgeon's say that it is totally normal to gain approximately 15-20 pounds after having had surgery. I have gone up and down with the same 10-20 pounds, and I bet that if you ask other's to be honest, they have too. It is totally normal. It is only a problem if you continue to gain more and more weight. Please do not feel bad about yourself. I think, although I am unsure, that even "normal" sized people experience some ups and downs in their weight too, especially based on their hormones. Hang in there. I felt so bad about myself when I first gained weight(I am 2.5 years out), but have since tried to put the weight gain into perspective. Also, remember that NO-ONE can stick to the regime 100 % of the time.
   — twenc