Question:
Would you really??????
If Society did not discriminate against Fat People, and Fat was excepted as beautiful...Would you have had this Surgery??? Just a thought....Please be for real.... Thanks — Rebe W. (posted on January 1, 2003)
January 1, 2003
Yes, I would have. I did not have the surgery to become
"beautiful." If it happens, great, if not, I figure not all
skinny people are beautiful so why should I expect to be just
because I'm skinny? Right? I had this surgery so that I
could live my life rather than plodding through it on feet
that killed me, carrying my insulin and blood pressure pills,
and having a body that didn't have enough energy to
do the things my brain dreamed of doing. Already I can walk
more than I would have believed possible by just loosing
45 pounds (my open RNY was on 10/31/02 - started at 333lbs.) and I've just
got to
believe that it will get even better. Heck, even though I'd
love to weigh 160 I'd be satisfied with 200 and lots of muscle!
— Pamela R.
January 1, 2003
YES!!!!!!!!!! I didn't have this surgery to make society accept me - that,
however is a nice bonus. I had the surgery so I could live longer. I was
to the point that I would have soon been wheelchair bound and probably
wouldn't have lived many more years. As it is, I will still have to have
both my knees replaced - but at least I am a candidate for having it done
now. This surgery wasn't, and shouldn't, be about looks or societal
acceptance - it should be about health.
— Patty_Butler
January 1, 2003
one a year, maybe more if I had too. I di not do this for acceptance. I di
this to be healthy and to live longer. IF you are doing this for
acceptance, you are doing it for the wrong reasons.
— Vicki L.
January 1, 2003
i would have this surgery with all of my heart!!! health reasons.. living..
and acceptance is not bad either.. ! `erinn
— Erinn M.
January 1, 2003
Most definitely! The reasons for doing this is to live a long and healthy
life; not just to look better! Every one of my husbands long list of
health problems is attributed to his weight. My list isn't as long as his,
but my doctors and I know that many of those are right around the corner if
I stay at my current weight or gain any.
— [Deactivated Member]
January 1, 2003
Yes - most definitely. This surgery isn't for appearance reasons - not
for any of us. It's for health reasons. There's a reason that they are
called co-morbidities - they are illnesses/conditions that directly result
from our obesity.
<p>
I never really had a problem with my size (other than finding clothes to
fit), but in the past 10 years, the co-morbidities started appearing and
worsened. It finally got to the point that I <b>had</b> to
have this surgery...JR (open RNY 07/17/2002 -126 pounds)
— John Rushton
January 1, 2003
Society isnt the reason I had this surgery in the first place. My health
was the sole reason I decided to have it! So my honest answer would be YES
I would have had the surgery.
— Deanna Wise
January 1, 2003
Most definately. I cannot stand the way I feel, how I can't tie my shoe
laces and dressing makes me short of breath. I am unable to do any
"fun" activities because I have severe back pain from being
overweight. I would rather be ugly than live in this body forever.
— Bonnie B.
January 1, 2003
This surgery is done as the Last Resort for MOST (not all) people. I did
it to save my life, not for vanity reasons.
— [Deactivated Member]
January 1, 2003
Intersting question, if fat was the norm then Obese people might not have
such a tough life... airplane seats that aren't a challenge for anyone that
isn't twiggy... toilet stalls bigger than a shoebox, the ability to go out
without fear of being singled out and humiliated... but, that isn't
society. The reality is obesity usually gets in the way, in the way of
being able to enjoy life totally, to be healthy, to be able to keep up with
kids or spouse or just live a normal life. I have no shame in admitting I
had the surgery about 50/50, half for health and half for normality, and I
am not ashamed of either reason. Good luck
— Becky K.
January 1, 2003
I am only 2 months post op and at 3 days post op I was no longer a
diabetic! Since then my Rheumatoid arthritis has gone into remission I am
off all my medication for Reflux and Asthma and my osteoarthritis had
calmed down as well. In this short amount of time I have gone from taking
10 - 15 pils per day to 2, and should be off all meds by the end of this
month. Guess what, I will probably never be "beautiful" but I
wouldn't care if they gave me the face of a bassett hound I would do it
again FOR MY HEALTH....anyone doing it for any other reason is a FOOL.
— Linda 1.
January 1, 2003
Probally not if society was'nt so harsh on us. However the last year before
WLS, I was walking with two canes because my knees were giving out. And
there were other problems that were hurting enough so at that point I felt
I had to do surgery. If not for the physical problems, I would'nt of IF
society did'nt frown on fat.
— Danmark
January 1, 2003
CALL ME A FOOL!!
If I DIDN'T have to worry about my health and society loved fat people...
No, I would not have this surgery. I would run naked on a beach. BUT I
have to say for me it is 50/50 too. I deserve to have a healthy life, too,
both mentally and physically. You would be a fool NOT to admit that!
— Marcy G.
January 1, 2003
I would still have surgery. I want to be able to run again as oppose to my
slow lumbering and subsequent fatigue and joint pain. I want to be free
from my CPAP, can't camp very well until the day trees grow electrical
outlets. I want to be able to ride a bike without flattening the tires. I
want to be able to fit in the passenger seat of a sports car (Couldn't fit
in a toyota celica GT very comfortably). I want to be able to squeeze out
of the back seat of a car without fear that my knee will give out (sprained
my knee trying to squeeze out the back seat of a car that was parked to
close to another car). I want to be able to climb a flight of stairs
without getting winded. I want to be able to tie my shoes without it being
a chore. <p>
The reasons above only take in to account the physical/health reasons since
the question proposed a scenario without social impact of being fat. In
today's society there are the wants of: being able to go to a resturant and
fit into a booth, to fit in other public seating (airplains, buses,
sporting events, theaters etc), to be able to eat without feeling judged by
others, to buy clothes at normal stores for normal costs, to not have to
listen to people trying to give me dieting tips, to not feel the sting when
ignorant people unknowingly make rude comments about the obese, to not have
to fight with the medical community to treat my ailments instead of giving
me the solution "you need to lose weight," "ok... but what
about the back/knee pain that limits the amount of walking/exercising I can
do?!" etc...
<p>
Take Care, Be Well, and Be Happy!
— John T.
January 1, 2003
Yes. I had the surgery for my health. I happen to like the look of
fattened people. Maybe it is the artist in me, but I find rounder people
more appealing.
— Darlene P.
January 1, 2003
Yes, I would have had the surgery anyway. I didn't have any health
problems, no co-morbitities. But, the compulsive overeating, going to bed
feeling like a stuffed pig, where sometimes it hurt to even roll over made
me feel so ashamed, depressed and hopeless. This surgery has done wonders
for my self esteem, and put me in control for once in my life.
— Stacy L.
January 1, 2003
I actually asked myself this question before my surgery (which was
10/15/02) and decided that society ain't accepting fat people anytime soon
so go for it! I would do it again and it actually had nothing to do with
society. I never really had problems with people being rude to me because
of my weight so I didn't have the surgery for others. I didn't have
co-morbidities though both of my parents are diabetic and I am trying to
avoid that. I had surgery because I was uncomfortable in my body and wanted
to feel like a normal person. Already with 53 pounds lost, I am feeling
more confident and taking showers is easier and I have tons more energy.
— Yolanda J.
January 1, 2003
I would definitely have the surgery. I having it more for my health than
for the looks. Sure I want mind looking different, but the biggest reason
is I don't want to die! I did not even consider surgery until my health
started going down hill.
— D. Bell
January 1, 2003
Well, I may get blasted for this but...I DO care what people think about me
when it comes to certain things. I mean, I felt beautiful at 288#'s and I
feel just as beautiful since surgery (11/11/02). I would be lying if I
didn't say part of the reason why I had the surgery was because of what
other people thought of me. But that was only part of it...a very small
fraction. I mostly had the surgery because I have high blood pressure and
I'm only in my 20's...I want to be able to do anything I want and not have
to worry about my weight being a factor. I want to walk up a small hill
and not be winded. I want to jog on the boardwalk. I want to do so many
things that my weight keeps me from doing. So even though I do care what
people think about me I mostly had the surgery done for myself. I have
been loved by friends, family, and significant others at my highest weight.
So once again, my answer is yes, I would still have had the surgery,
— Tracy A.
January 1, 2003
Hi. I believe I would have, but probably only because I was in so much pain
and my health was starting to suffer. So it became more of a health
decision than a cosmetic one. I never thought anything was all that wrong
with me until the pain set in. LOL So I started to think duhhhhh, maybe I
need to lose some weight. So for me society had nothing to do with my
decision. The fact I couldn't walk anywhere for more than 5 minutes did.
:)
— NikkiCarter
January 1, 2003
Hi there, Rebe! To be honest, yes I would still have had wls. I was tired
of being sick all the time, tired of having to take so many meds, tired of
feeling like I couldn't do very much, because in truth I couldn't. I am
one of those people who could care less about what most others think of me.
I care about my closest friends, my husband and niece and my mom. I have a
friend, from the Bahamas, used to always tell me that if I want men to
adore me and treat me like a queen to go to the Bahamas and that I would
win beauty pageants there. Big is beautiful there! That's a nice thing to
say, but no one had to live in my body but me and no one else had to deal
with all the infirmities but me. WLS was the one thing to was a start to
saving my life. Vi open RNY 9/23/02 down 80 lbs.
— Vi F.
January 1, 2003
Absolutely YES! I had this surgery for me and for the sake of my health,
not for anyone else. No more CPAP machine, no more meds for high blood
pressure or acid reflux. You bet I would do it again! There certainly is a
lot of fat prejudice out there but I also know that many men find full
figured women even more beautiful. My man loved me for me and is happier
now that I am healthy (and happy)....he would have still loved me if I
stayed teetering at 300lbs. Fat isn't just about physical appearance
anymore. It is a massive health epidemic in our society! - Anna LAP RNY
7/3/02
— Anna L.
January 1, 2003
I am trying to get this surgery now. My intentions are mostly for my
health. My other health problems are still minor. However, my family
history of health issues are starting to stare me in the face. I haven't
been able to lose the weight and keep it off. I don't want the high blood
pressure, diabetes, etc. that runs throughout all branches of my family.
As I'm fast approaching 50 I have to stop and think, what will I be facing
in another 5, 10, 20 years. I want to be around for my children and
grandchildren. I won't ever be the size 3's my daughters wear and that
okay. I will be healther without the excess baggage though! If I look
better, that just a bonus.
— Helen C.
January 1, 2003
YES! I did it to breathe. Breathe & walk simultaneously, breathe &
sit, etc. The comorbs were gonna take me out. Soon. The fact that I ended
up looking better was a bonus. I just wanted to look normal, fade back
into the woodwork.
— vitalady
January 1, 2003
Great question! Yes, I most certainly would have. I am down 100+ pounds
and still VERY fat (120 or so more pounds to go)...but I feel so much
better that if I stopped losing now, I would still consider this a success
and would be fine with my decision. I did this to be healthier and let me
kids have a mom, not a couch blob.
— [Deactivated Member]
January 1, 2003
LET'S SEE.......PAIN?.....NO PAIN?.....I PICK NO PAIN. YES I WOULD HAVE
THIS SURGERY A MILLION TIMES OVER IF THAT IS WHAT IT TOOK TO MAKE ME FEEL
THIS GREAT.
— DRutherford
January 1, 2003
Wow! What a good question. Really makes ya think! I think for me it
would be impossible to say that I didn't care what people thought of me. I
have lived for many years heavy and it has definately impacted me socially.
However, having said that, what has finally been the deciding factor for
me in having this surgery is my health. When you are younger and feeling
good it is harder to believe that your health is affected. When you are 48
as I am now, the health issues become much more evident! Ofcourse being
more socially accepted will definately be a great side benefit.
— sherry H.
January 1, 2003
I would definitely have the surgery again, for me, I did it more for health
reasons than anything. I have always had friends and an active social
life, but living with diabetes and obesity was literally killing me. That
was a great question. God Bless -leslie
— Leslie A. J.
January 1, 2003
Hey Rebe--good question. My answer--YEP! I agree with your comments about
society being prejudiced against so many things and over the years I have
been judged without people even knowing me so I try not to do that to
others. I did the surgery not only for health reasons but also because I
hated myself so much. I didn't need others to be mean and hateful cos I
was my worst critic. Now I'm at a point where I am actually starting to
like myself and that's a huge accomplishment for me. If I can help just
ONE person on this site--then I'm happy and I'm so blessed that I found
this surgery---God does answer your prayers--sometimes it takes a LONGGGGG
time but everything is for a reason. Well I will stop babbling now....take
care!
— Bambi C.
January 1, 2003
Absolutely yes! I needed to improve my health and not worry that I was
going to die young. But also - and we're being honest here - "I"
needed to feel pretty. It wasn't that I needed for society to think I was
beautiful. I needed to be satisfied with what I saw when I looked in the
mirror. I was always conscious of my appearance and kept my hair and nails
done, fixed my face, wore as flattering clothing as possible, etc. but I
needed to improve my appearance for "MY" benefit. The
unbelievable health improvements combined with the improved self-esteem is
GREAT! I'd do it again in a heartbeat!
— ronascott
January 1, 2003
I had decided to be happy at 230 pounds. Yes, it was too much for a
5'1" woman but dieting wasn't working. But I continued to gain even
though I had stopped dieting. And I had NEVER been as sick as I was the
year before I had surgery. I caught EVERYTHING including hand, foot, and
mouth disease and a bout with an unexplained high fever (the dr told me to
go home and relax and basically hope I didn't die). It was awful. I was
sick all the time. Even though I didn't have many comorbids, I could tell
my body was losing the battle. Since I have had the surgery I have had
one--just ONE--cold. That's it. I only go to the doctor for bloodwork. Yes,
I do look better. But I am not a supermodel. Men are not fainting away and
having car wrecks when I walk in front of them. But I feel better and I'll
live longer. I take better care of myself now because deep down I know it
matters whereas before I wasn't sure it did any good. YES I would have it
anyway. Obesity kills.
— ctyst
January 2, 2003
I went at this question without reading any of the other answers and here
is my potentially shallow answer. I would absolutely do it again. I have
not felt this good about myself and this proud of myself,well maybe ever.
I am happier and way healthier. My blood pressure is back in line, my
cholesterol is back in line and I almost like the way I look. I had this
surgery for all of the health reasons that everyone alway expresses. BUT I
absolutely had this surgery for vanity too. I wanted to feel good about
myself again. I, no matter how hard I tried, could not feel good about
myself. I tried to tell myself that I didn't mind and who cared what
others thought and for the most part I always said screw them. But I am
the one that couldn't deal with myself. 64 lbs off since 7/31/02
(5'3") and 120 lbs down total since by biggest of 300lbs. Thats my 2
cents. Happy Losing to all.
— pcollin4
January 2, 2003
Hmm...if fat was beautiful...and if fat did not lead to any health
problems?? Then the answer would be no, I would not have had the surgery.
But even if the first part of your question was true, and fat was
considered beautiful (wasn't it considered at one time beautiful in
society-where did Rubenesque come from?!), then what about the health part?
My first concern was that I was afraid that I was heading for diabetes
since I lived on sugar and carbs. Then, my back and knees hurt, my
breathing was labored-can we say "early heart attack?" So, if
being fat meant better health, then I would not have had the surgery. But
since it doesn't, this surgery has done wonders for my health, both
mentally and physically. Good question, great responses!
— Cindy R.
January 2, 2003
YES!! I did it for health - I have a boyfriend, friends, and family that
love me even though I'm fat. I don't need to be thin for acceptance. I
did it to be healthy later on - I'm 22 years old and relatively heathy
(except for joint and back pain) and I had the surgery 2 and a half weeks
ago to prevent the heart disease and diabetes that I knew was headed my
way.
— Toni C.
January 2, 2003
Yes, because my fat hurt. It also kept me infertile amongst other health
issues. Lugging that weight around was very hard... I have not
expirienced much discrimination, at least nothing blatant. It's the same
reason I had a breast reduction in 93. They hurt my back something fierce,
yet large breasts are often looked at with envy by some.... not by me!
— Karen R.
January 2, 2003
I'm the original poster... The reason I asked this question is because this
is the question I have asked myself over and over again, and to be
truthfully honest, If my health was perfect, which it was not, I would not
have even had thought of this surgery... Aside from the fact that my fat
was really affecting my health, I feel I could not longer stand the
constant fat jokes, picking, job rejection,being made an example of,
relationship rejections and so on. We all know our health comes first and
I did it because of my health, believe me, but I still did it because I
want to be accepted and loved. There I said it, I want to be loved, not by
my family (they love me dearly) but by others, and I was tired of
explaining why I was fat, or looked at as being lazy, funny, jolly,or a
good friend... you know fat people are safe friends.
So everybody... I Am Being honest and expressing the truth.and I really
don't feel I'm alone in this.... Thanks guys... Love you all
— Rebe W.
January 2, 2003
That is a tough question. I do know that I was uncomfortable in the world,
I could not climb stairs or fit in an airplane seat or walk on the beach.
So for those reasons yes. Do I care what strangers think about me? No.
People hate me because I am white, because I am a woman, because I am
American. People hate me because I am in front of them in the grocery store
line. People hated me when I was fat, different people hate me now because
I am not. I can't live for other people and their biases. I hope that
people are not having such a serious surgery just to please other people. I
had this surgery for me and me alone. I am the one who had to live with the
consequences or the benefits.
— Cara F.
January 2, 2003
i would have to answer yes becuase although i was healthy pr op, i was
depressed, tired, back hurt and i was so tired of living life as a
spectator, i hated not being able to dress nice and hated not being able to
fit behind booths or in certain cars or carnival rides, i was so scared id
have a hearattack or something like that so really those are the things
that motivated me to having wls. :)
— carrie M.
January 2, 2003
hi
yes I would because my medical promblems were a lot of them down 104lbs and
they are almost all gone.
— ROSEMARY A.
January 5, 2003
A very very loud yes. I've always been a very beautiful person both on the
outside as well as the inside. I know some of you will think that I have a
very high opionion of myself and to you I say "I do". I was
taught that you first have to love yourself before anyone else can love
you. I met and married the most wonderful man in the world who by the way
adores me. What society thinks really don't bother me, because if you
allow society, your family, friends, or anyone else dictate how you are
going to feel about yourself then you are setting yourself up for a
lifetime of misery. I say to anyone that reads this rather they be pre or
post op, if you are not already in love with you, start now having a love
affair with yourself. I've often been told that I'm the cockiest fat
person that anyone has ever met. It's not that I'm cocky, I'm just
convinced. If you don't want to be in my life because of my weight, then
it's your lost, because I'm a great person to know and to befriend. My
AMOS sisters and brothers if you don't get anything else from this post,
please get this "DON'T ALLOW ANYONE'S ACTIONS TO DICTATE YOUR
REACTION" to anything, especially your life, health, and happiness.
Don't allow anyone to hold you hostage with their ugliness or hurtful
words. Don't let anyone take your dignity, for a lot of us, that's all we
have. We don't have a lot of money, but we have our self worth. Much love
to all of you at where ever you are on this wonderful journey.
God Bless,
Lenay
— Dortheria B.
January 5, 2003
Dortheria: I just love your guts. There is a screaming controversy on the
message board. This would certainly stir them up. I do think you are
gorgous too.
— faybay
January 6, 2003
Personally, I miss my cozy plump body folds to warm my hands in. As for
the discrimination aspect, I could have cared less. I got far more
discrimination for being a woman than for being fat. And, I am a fat
admirer...I like extra pounds that make someone look plump and robust.
However, as a MORBIDLY OBESE person (494 pre-op), I was short of breath,
unable to walk to where I wanted to go and had too much weight to carry
around to do the things I wanted to do. At 230 pounds, I feel drop dead
gorgeous, can do anything I want physically and am fully participating in
life, so yes, I would still have had this surgery!
— merri B.
January 6, 2003
Yes, My health was slowly hurting me. I was starting to suffer from the
results of my weight, and I knew something had to be done.
— Naes Wls J.
January 6, 2003
Big can be beautiful, but as a fat person I think there is fat and then
there is scary. If there was a magic pill, I would have swallowed it years
ago. There are too many co-morbidities with obesity to justify keeping the
weight on. Plus, I am not physically comfortable and am over trying to
justifying it. Fear/reluctance to lose are symptoms of other issues. I am
who I am. I'm fat, beautiful, with a very attracted man - BUT I am
unhealthy and want to be around as my son grows up. He wants a mom who can
run and play soccer and ride bikes and I cannot do it without losing at
least half my present weight. I do not measure my worth or attractiveness
by my boyfriend(s) - they will like me regardless. I am doing this for my
son and me.
— Suzanne M.
January 6, 2003
Well- I always thought I wasn't too bad, even being morebidly obese. I
didn't think I ever had to lose weight - never had problems meeting people,
dating, getting jobs, etc. BUT THEN THE HEALTH ISSUE GOT WORSE AND WORSE.
It took a life or death situation for me to open my eyes about my weight
problem. If ANYONE gets this surgery purely for looks or society's
requirements; they are getting it for the wrong reasons.
— toolio
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