Question:
How important is it to have someone there for support while in the hospital post op?
I am scheduled for surgery Jan 15 in Little Rock, AR. I will be flying there from Philadelphia. I fly in on the 13th for pre op testing and Dr visit. I will fly home on Jan 19. I'm debating whether or not to have my husband travel to Little Rock to be with me. I am traveling to Little Rock because I am self pay and I could find a good Doc at a reasonable price. Having my husband travel is another expense for both flight and hotel. I've traveled a lot for work often for a week or more so that part doesn't bother me. I'm wondering how blue people are right after surgery and how important it is to have someone there for me. I am also assuming I can negotiate the airport and flight by myself 5 days post op. Having him come would help me there. What do you think? — Brenda G. (posted on December 22, 2002)
December 22, 2002
Hi, I can not stress enough HOW important it is to have someone there with
you in the hospital. Not only for the moral support, but also because of
the INCOMPETENT HOSPITAL NURSING staffs that are all over the place. If it
was not for my sister who stayed with me the entire time, I don't know if I
would have recovered so well. The nursing staff were offering me 7-up and
fruit juices to drink hours after the surgery, they never reminded me to
walk or use my spirometer, or empty my drainage tube, and if it weren't for
my sister reminding them, I don't even want to think what could have
happened. Not only that, I was an emotional wreck and I don't know what I
would have done without someone with me the entire time. Not that I'm a
baby, but it is really horrible right after a major surgery and having
someone there who knows you really helps. Good luck to you!
— Iris B.
December 22, 2002
Brenda - As far as flying goes, just make sure that you tell the airport
when you check in that you need a transporter to take you to your gate
because you will not be allowed to carry anything (at least that's what my
surgeon required for awhile) so carrying your suitcase will not be allowed
unless it weighs less than 4 lbs. Also tell the flight attendents that you
just had surgery and they'll attend to you also and when you check in see
if you can get a different seat, like one right after first class (or if
you can afford upgrading, it's usually around $50). Just make sure to tell
everyone that you've had surgery and they'll be very attentive to you.
Good luck. (08/28/01 60" distal RNY, 105 lbs lost!)
— trtorrey
December 22, 2002
I guess I had a completely different experience compared to the first
person who responded. I had really no help in the hospital. I had someone
drop me off, and after I got in my room dump off my overnight bag. I
kicked them out after about an hour. I then had no one with me until I
called my girlfriend to come get me. I napped until she came, put my
clothes on and signed my discharge papers and was out of there. My nurses
were on target with their care, and I took responsbilitiy to ensure that
anything on my trays were not loaded with sugar. I was on pretty powerful
pain killers, but didn't have any issues.
I think the biggest issue will be to have a backup plan in case you develop
complications, then you husband can come down to be with you - you WILL
need someone with you then.
The blues are not bad for me. If you are used to being my yourself and
self-sufficient, kind of take it as a grand adventure thing instead of a
'poor pitiful me' deal, then I think you would be OK.
— Susan F.
December 22, 2002
Brenda,
In my opinion I would say a big "YES"!!! Have someone there for
you. I was going to be the brave one, the stubborn one and let everybody go
home right after my surgery.... I did not wish to impose on anyone by
having them stay with me in the hospital! OMG am I glad they did not listen
to me...lol. First let me say that my care in the Enid, Oklahoma hospital
was "first rate"!!! I have never seen such a loving, caring,
attentive nursing staff and Doctor!!! They were "amazing"!
But....with that said, one still needs "family" around them when
they go through something like this...just to be able to open my eyes for a
few seconds and see my husband made me that much more relaxed and
comfortable. Just having someone there that "knows" you, you
know?? I truly feel that this brought my husband and I closer. He saw what
I had to do in the hospital and knows what I have to do now that I am
home... it was a learning experience for the both of us, and I am
"so" glad he was a part of this there, because he will be a part
of this for the rest of our lives!! I don't think it would have been
totally fair to him, to leave him out of the most important surgery
(change) of my life by not aksing him to stay with me.......Anywho, that's
my little 2 cents worth of advice...lol...hope this helps a bit. Love and
light,
— medium
December 22, 2002
I also flew out of state for my surgery. I had "met" others
on-line who were having surgery the same day. We met up and were our own
support system. We have become very close friends. I did not have any of my
family with me and I was fine. The surgeon's staff were incredible as were
the nurses. But, my sisters in surgery were the best supprt I could have
asked for. If you kwo of others having it at the same time and hospital,
perhaps you can help one another.<br>As far as the airport, I agree
with the previous poster. I explained to the folks at the airport about the
surgery. In my case, I was fine and flew one of the better airlines, so was
very comfortable. They offered me wheelchair transport, but I didn't need
it. Contact the carrier beforehand and ask about special
"handling". They may bump you up to first class or at least let
you sit in one of the bulkhead seats. Main thing as far as flying is to get
up and walk the plane. Walk at the airport too. You don't want to develop a
blood clot. <br>I wish you the absolute best. I was very nervous
about going by myself, but now feel it was much better this way.
— Helenjean P.
December 22, 2002
Hi there!! My surgery date is also January 15!! So congratulations!! I live
in Oklahoma and I am traveling to Baton Rouge, LA by myself. I am a little
nervous, but I wouldn't do it no other way. My decision relied a whole lot
on my husband missing work also. Compass the group I am going through would
pay his way to go it's just not feasible. I also think I need this time to
concentrate on me!! Don't let anyone discourage on going by yourself! A
large percentage of people travel alone for there surgery. They have made
arrangements for me to be transported to and from the airport, hotel and
hospital. Check with your Doctor and see if anyone else is having surgery
around the same time as you. Having someone else that is going through the
same thing will help. Good Luck with your surgery!! If you have any
questions or just want to talk feel free to email. Lisa
— Lisa B.
December 22, 2002
I would have my husband, or another relative/friend, with you in the
hospital. I had a bad experience with hospital staff, who were too busy
taking care of others to pay any attention to me. 6 hours after surgery, I
had a nurse walk with me to the bathroom. She said "I'll be right
back" and left me on the toilet. 15 minutes later I was a sobbing
quivering nauseous mess and she was no where in sight. When she returned
after 1/2 an hour, she got mad at me for " making such a fuss".
I called up my nurse sister and had her come down to stay for a while and
she certainly set them straight. While you are out of it, in pain, on
drugs, and vulnerable, I do think you need an advocate with you. And what
if you have a complication? Most likely you will not, but it sure would be
nice to have someone with you in case you do.
— Cindy R.
December 22, 2002
Thankfully, the doctor and hospital I want to use are close. I'm going to
try to get my husband to spend a minimal amount of time there with me. I
know how I get when I feel like crap, and I don't want to feel like I have
to entertain anyone. Luckily for me, if he starts to hover too much, I can
send him home! If it's really not an option for your husband to come, try
to get your doctor to hook you up with other patients that are having
surgery that day. Then you'll have someone to at least walk with. Just an
idea.
— Kimberly S.
December 22, 2002
I have to agree with Susan F. A lot depends on your personality. I sent
my husband home as soon as I was settled in my room, and the nursing staff
did a fine job of getting me reasonably comfortable. As a nurse, I know
they tended to the most important things first, and I was also aware the
entire unit was really, really busy. I just asked that they leave
everything where I could reach it - call light, bed controls, TV control,
cup with swabs for my mouth, lip balm, etc. Once they got me up the next
morning for my leak test, I didn't go back to bed until after the night
shift nurse did her assessment and did what she had to do. If you are
going to travel by yourself to go home, let the airline know ahead of time
(when you book, if possible). Having traveled with two elderly people, one
requiring oxygen, the airlines will help you as much as they can. A
transporter can be arranged to meet you at the drop off area and help you
until you are at the gate. You may be able to board (and disbark first), so
you can be settled in and not have to wait a lot time on your feet.
— koogy
December 22, 2002
You need someone there with you. You cannot depend on RN's, because you
will probably have a nursing assistant and they have too many people
assigned to them. I had a central line in my neck and those things on my
legs to keep me from having blood clots pumping air around my calves, and
had to go to the bathroom, and had problems in the bathroom, pulled the
nurses cord, and they answered by speaker by my bed and NEVER CAME INTO MY
ROOM and I was stuck in there for 45 minutes until I could get out of
there. I had a nurse yelling at me in the middle of the night in ICU
because my back hurt and I needed to sit up. You will NOT KNOW if you need
someone there to help you until the time comes - and another thing - unless
you have a calling card, you can't even call out to family for help unless
it is a local call! Don't be at the mercy of a nurse's helper with an
attitude! They're overworked, underpaid, and take it out on you. Take a
friend or family member with you!!!!
— suitfugue
December 22, 2002
I think it depends on you and the hospital you are going to. I flew from
Maine to Texas for my surgery. There wasn't anytime in the hospital that I
needed something that the nurses couldn't help me with. They were all
wonderful.
— Christy S.
December 22, 2002
hi there! :) i sm very greatful that my hospital stay was a very pleasant
one. i had loved ones that visited me but quite honestly i was very tired
and just needed a rest so i felt bad if i would fall asleep while they were
talking to me. id say if luck is on your side you wouldnt need anyone with
you but in my opinion, once you get home it would be nice to have someone
around to help ya or just be there for you to talk to. my post op blues
kicked in after i got home so i was on the phone alot talking to my best
friend, i was glad when my hubby would get off work so i wouldnt feel so
down and alone. best of luck to you. :)
— carrie M.
December 22, 2002
Hi everyone, Thanks so much for taking the time to respond and sharing your
personal experiences. I'm so touched by having so many responses. I'm not
sure what I'm going to do yet. You've given me some good things to think
about. I do know I am going to try to find out who else is having surgery
there at the same time so we can develop a relationship before hand. Have
a wonderful holiday everyone! I'm actually looking forward to a few
"before" pics. Hugs, Brenda
— Brenda G.
December 29, 2002
I am a "take charge" type of person, and I sent my husband back
to the hotel after I came out of surgery. While in ICU, the nursing care
was great. When I went onto the regular ward, the care was absolutely
horrible. I was a quivering, crying, hysterical mess because I couldn't
get anyone's attention for my needs. Now I wasn't dying, so I wasn't a
high priority. There were just too many patients for the number of nurses
there. Nights were the absolute worst. I will NEVER EVER again be left
alone in a hospital - especially at night. If you have to do so, hire a
private duty nurse.
— Kathy J.
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