Question:
The waiting is killing me...

I know each and every one of you has probably gone through this, but I just need to vent! I have been waiting for 3 weeks for a consult call. I was approved really quickly, so no waiting there (I guess I should feel lucky), but I am climbing the walls waiting for the Dr.'s office to call me with a consult date. They've explained that it takes time to verify everything and, really, I do understand. But now I am just freaking out that there will end up being a problem with my insurance even though I got an approval letter. I wanted so much to have this surgery by the end of the year, but I just don't see that happening now. I know this Dr. is really busy and I thought I had more patience than this. I am just so nervous that this will never really happen. No one else understands this. I want this so much that I keep thinking something is going to make it not happen. This is normal, isn't it?? I'm so happy for everyone when I read that they finally got a surgery date, but I'm also jealous. I can be patient once I know WHEN it will be. YIKES!!! I just want to pull my hair out!! Thanks for listening!    — Kathy S. (posted on October 22, 2002)


October 22, 2002
Yes the waiting is the worst! I started the process in January 02, had a consult in March 02, gave my boss my surgeons name in March 02, Boss had surgery in May 02 and I had surgery August 6, 2002. The waiting is terrible, you feel like you can crawl out of your chest. My was made worse by my bosses insurance going faster than mine, and that part of the relationship has never gotten better, but guess what!? Your day does come and it is so worth it. I was mentally and physically ready BECAUSE of my wait. My boss on the other hand has had problems because she just simply did not do her research. Time (believe it or not) really is needed for this process. As good as things have gone for me, I still was not totally prepared for the mental hunger of the first 3 weeks. Now I actually have to make myself eat. Good luck, your time will be here before you know it! (Open RNY 8/6/02 down 57)
   — Dana B.

October 22, 2002
Have you advised your pcp of your delima? Often they will prescribe a medication so you don't stress out too much. And try to keep busy with other activities.
   — charlene M.

October 22, 2002
Oh honey - I am so with you. I'm also waiting for Dr McCarthy's office to call me. I went to the Aug Seminar and have been having the attitude that if it happens this year fine, if not then Jan will be OK. But I'm stressing out that even though I've verified with my company that no WLS exclusions are being added to our insurance for 2003, that somehow if I don't get this in next year I'll not be covered. Yesterday was hard for me cause I knew that the docs office was supposed to be meeting to do the scheduling and I just am edgy until I hear something. We choose this program cause it seems to be so good, I want these docs, but the wait it very stressful. I'm right there with ya and promise to not be jealous if you get a consult date before me! Susan
   — Susan F.

October 22, 2002
Kathy, most all of us has been in your shoes at one time or another with this process. That doesn't make the waiting any better, I waited a year and a half before everything was a "go" for me. My anxiety level was off the wall. I did tell my PCP and he order Paxil which helped a little. Then when the final day before surgery comes you really wonder if you are doing the right thing. Let me tell you that you are and waiting is part of it. I was on this site for hours during the day and research everything so I would have a good knowledge base for after surgery. I want to tell you that no amount of reseach helps when it is your own body. I would do it again in a minute, as my health is better, my looks are better, my self esteem is better, my marriage and my life are all so much better because of this surgery. My husband is my soul mate and has read everything too. He often reminds me of things I should be doing. It is alot nicer to go through this with someone who cares about your health. My arthritis is better, my polymyalgia Rheumatica is better, my DJD is better, I breathe better. Life is good again. I will keep you in my prayers, because it takes alot of prayers to get through this. Yours and alot of other people. Good Luck My Friend.
   — buhret

October 22, 2002
I tried Dr. McCartyy's office as well and like you I was too impatient to wait. I found another surgeon, Dr. Glen Ihde. I called and was in the next week,was approved by my follow up appt one month later, and surgery was schedule 1 month after that. It would have been sooner but he took 2 weeks off to get married. He has done this surgery alot as he used to work for BTC in Wylie and just opened his own practice. If he takes your insurance you canbe done by the end of the year. If you can't find a number for him email me and I'll get it to you A.S.A.P.
   — dkinson

October 22, 2002
What's even worse is waiting for surgery approval from the ins. company! I've had my referral, been through all of the necessary tests; just need a surgery date! I was DENIED by my ins. company and am having to appeal! It's been driving me crazy. I am up and down. They have 30 days to answer my appeal- it's been about 22 days................. Good Luck!
   — pamela1

October 22, 2002
How did you get approved for the surgery before your initial consultation? My surgeon was the one who sent in the letter to my insurance company. I know that you are impatient, but others have waited much, much longer than you. I called for my initial consultation in October of 2001 and was given an appointment date of April 25, 2002. I saw the surgeon then and did not get approved insurance-wise until June 6. I then was given a surgery date of July 17 - which I only got because someone has cancelled in the day or two prior to the surgeon's secretary looking for a surgery date for me. She had quoted me a surgery date of late August the week before... Now, my wife has decided to go for a lap RNY (same office, different surgeon). Now, this other surgeon (Dr. Noel Williams) is a lot busier because he's the only one at HUP that does lap RNYs, but Geri lucked out and got a date of January 20, 2003 when I called for her last week (actually, she could have gotten November 25, but I am out of town on business that week and I wanted to be at her initial consult as she was with mine). Both the 1/20 and 11/25 dates were due to recent cancellations. So, it's really hard for me to have sympathy for your 3-week wait. I am also sure that you will get little sympathy from our Canadian readers as they have waits of several years for this surgery...
   — John Rushton

October 22, 2002
Hi, this is Kathy, the original poster. I guess I should clarify something for those that think my wait has not been that long. I started this whole process at the beginning of May, so technically, it's been 5 1/2 months. While that may not be that long to some people, it's long to me. Add to that another couple of months before I will actually have surgery, also. The question was asked about how I was approved before a consult date. The answer is, I attended the seminar (which took months to get into) and completed paperwork on my medical history. The Dr.'s office uses this to write a letter of Medical Necessity to the insurance company. Anyway, I just wanted to clear that up.
   — Kathy S.

October 22, 2002
i TOTALLY understand ur impatientness as i am the same way!!! i feel like i started my journey yrs ago and still dont have a date lol i also keep thinkin something goin to wreck it for me..as ive heard many think that b4 there surgery..i have just resorted to bein patient and KNOWIN that this WILL happen if it was gods plan is for me :)
   — christine S.

October 22, 2002
Kathy.. I, too know what you are talking about!! I started my paperwork in Feb, went to a seminar in May, and then another in June. Got my approvel from insurance in sept and did my P.E. and am still waiting for a surgery date.. My Surgeons office says it will be the first part of Nov.. but i would Love to know the date so I can plan time off work!! Also it seems my company is changing insurances starting jan.. so i am doubly stressed with wanting it done this year.. so heres an added AGGHHHHH from me ... Terry J
   — TerryLee J.

October 22, 2002
Hi Kathy, it seems we all have our own stories to tell about the "waiting game". Some much better than others. I had to wait two months for my consultation with the surgeon because he was that booked. This was after already waiting a month to get a referral from my pcp. It took another 1 and 1/2 months to get the necessary evaluations and results to give the surgeon's office for insurance submittal. A wait of only one week for insurance approval which was Sept. 23, 02...my surgery date is scheduled for Jan. 21, 2003. A 4 month wait. So who cares if I'm going to lose a lot of hair from the surgery, I will have waited so long and gone crazy by then that I'd pulled it all out already :)
   — blank first name B.

October 22, 2002
I am going through the same thing! The part about "something making it not happen" is my huge hangup as well. I was approved in record time but am waiting for my date, and doing things like NOT quitting smoking, even though I know that I need to quit to prepare my body for surgery. We were discussing it last night and I realized that a little part of me almost wants to have an excuse (that I can control) that will prevent me from having it just because I am so afraid that "they" will take this away from me! I think another aspect of it is a suspicion that things have gone so smoothly to this point that there has to be a "catch". And then a little part of me is unconsciously afraid of the permanent changes to my life after surgery, and this is the first way of addressing the grieving process that this immense change brings on. I feel like once have that magic date to focus on, I am going to feel better...but I thought that about getting my insurance approval too, and of course that relief only lasted till I started obsessing about the date! I had hoped to get this out of the way before year-end too. The thing I tell myself is that at least I have the distraction and hustle of the holidays to make the time go faster before my date, which I am sure will be February at the earliest. Plus, NEXT year at this time it will all be over and we'll be reaping the results of our patience (and impatience). For what it's worth, you're not alone. I think I'm driving my family nuts! Hang in there...like having a baby, it will all be worth the wait (or... weight! ;)
   — gamboge

October 23, 2002
Whether you're waiting 2 years or two weeks, if you're like me, once you decide to do something, you want it to happen yesterday. I started researching this surgery two years ago and it took me 1 1/2 years to get everything (including a change of surgeons) together. Since I got approved by my insurance (in September)I often feel like I'm going to go nuts if it doesn't happen soon. Some days I wake up telling myself I must be crazy to do this, but part of that is that the longer you have to wait, the more time you have to second guess yourself and think about all the negative things outsiders have told you about the surgery. I'm close to where you are, expect to have the surgery in about 2 weeks if some last minute mini-problems are ironed out quickly. Meanwhile, I have plenty of Xanax and Ambien on hand for those sleepless nights. Hang in there - I'm with you 100%!
   — Arlene S.




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