Question:
Afraid to clean out closet...

I had a lap. RNY on Sept. 5, 2002 and I'm down about 23 pounds. Now that the time of year has arrived to start packing up the summer clothes for the year, it occured to me that I could just take every single summer item I own and donate them to charity, as I *should* never be wearing those plus-size articles again. Only problem is, I am terrified of doing that! I can't seem to get myself to believe that by next summer I won't be in plus-sizes. I think I still have that diet mentality in my head, complete with that little voice that tells me this weightloss is only temporary, as all of us past dieters have experienced before. Anyone else had this fear?? I would love nothing more than to throw those huge shorts out of my life FOREVER but I can't seem to convince myself it's okay to do that.    — Samantha S. (posted on October 9, 2002)


October 9, 2002
Samantha, First of all, I just want to say that I had surgery on the same day as you and have lost almost the exact same number of pounds! Isn't that cool? I also live near San Francisco. Funny. Anyway, I know that you won't be wearing those close next year. I think that getting rid of them would be a good way to show faith in yourself and your surgery. Once the clothes are gone, you can't go back right? If you can't bear to do it now, why not put them away for another couple of months. I'm sure that by Christmas time, you'll be as certian as I am that you will never need them again! Good luck and feel free to email me if you want to talk to someone who is at the same point in this journey.
   — Amber L.

October 9, 2002
Hi! I had this fear too and waited until a month ago to clean everything out~ I had rny done lap 5/13/02 and have lost 89lbs- I really needed to get rid of my old size 24 clothes! It was hard at first and morned over a few articles of expensive/nice clothes but then when I started tossing it was actually fun~ I told my husband that I would rather be thin then to be able to wear these clothes- I have been stopping at thrift stores in the last month to help replenish my closet- I have a handfull of sweaters and tops in my closet now- I think I just liked having a full closet :) I now wear a size Med top and size 12 slacks- Good Luck and try to look at it this way- You will never have to wear or shop in the plus size section again!!! :)
   — Sarah A.

October 9, 2002
Honey, there is NO WAY you will be able to use them next summer! I know you don't truly believe it, but BELIEVE IT! Right before my surgery, 10/23/01, I had a garage sale and I put every piece of summer clothing out for grabs. My DH expressed his concern about whether I should do that or not. I looked at him and said, "Do you really expect me to be this size by next summer?" He had his doubts about the whole thing. Now, here I am almost at one year post op. Down from a 26 to a 12 and med-XL tops (depends on the maker). From 297lbs to 178 with 25lbs to goal. I think he's a believer now! I also mourned the clothes, especially the staples I always wore. I gave most of them to people who were about to have surgery. At least I knew they were going to somebody who really could use them. Made me feel better about giving them up.
   — Kris T.

October 9, 2002
Get rid of em! It is a "cleansing" experience and puts closure on that part of your life. Someone can surely use them so if it makes you feel better, give them to someone else. I love the way my closet has more room but the problem is I am filling it up again....with cuter, smaller, clothes. By the way, normal (misses/juniors) size clothes are much less expensive. Makes me angry that larger clothes cost a lot more. There isn't that much more fabric in larger plus clothes. I think it is just another way to prey on MO customers and take advantage of the fact that we don't have as many choices.
   — Mylou52

October 9, 2002
Okay, I'm pre-op and wont be having surgery until next February or March, but I wanted to throw out my idea of how I'm going to deal with my "too big" clothing next summer. I bought a lot of linen skirts and dresses this past summer and love them and the colors so much that I don't want to get rid of them. Not because I'm afraid I will need them again though. I want to keep them because I'm going to use them to make some quilts for myself. For me this will be very symbolic and comforting, and it will help me establish continuity between the old big me and the new little me. Part of me says I should share my clothing with others who could use them, but the idea of one or two quilts made from clothing I used to wear gives me great joy and peace about who I am to become. I can't explain it, but it just feels like the right thing to do for me. For me, this really does address the doubts and fears I already have of either not losing or of regaining my losses after surgery. Blessings to you and congratulations on your loss!
   — rebalspirit

October 9, 2002
Hey Samantha! Boy does this sound familiar! I am 5 months out from an open RNY and down 81 lbs. I probably went through my closet once a month and said "No way can I get rid of THAT, it's pretty and I am still fat" Even though the thing was HUGE on me. But just last week I did it and bundled up all my nice clothes that I can no longer wear, even a brand new winter coat that I bought at the end of season sale last year and took the clothes to work with a sign "Help your selves". SO it's done. My closet is now about empty but I look forward to buying new clothes one day. I wish you the best! :)
   — Gina D.

October 9, 2002
I don't think there's anything wrong with waiting a little while if it makes you feel more comfortable and more secure in the fact that you won't need them. At a year post-op, I keep shrinking and new clothes that fit just a few months ago are now loose and hang wrong. The shrinking never seems to stop, not that I'm complaining! One idea is to pack your clothes up and wait until spring, then take the clothes to a consignment shop so that you might get some money for them to help subsidize your smaller summer wardrobe. :)
   — PT LawMom

October 10, 2002
another thought for those clothes that are too big.. find a support group for WLS people and start a clothing exchange. People are losing weight so fast that it doesnt make sense to keep buying clothes on the way down.. most will wear a size for a month and then they are too big.. this way your supporting everyone in your "new family" as they start this wonderful journey to a healthier and happier life.
   — TerryLee J.

October 10, 2002
Samantha-Everyone has given such wonderful advice, but I'm where you are right now, and wanted to add my 2 cents! My surgery was 09/11, and I'm down 33 lbs. Pre-op, I did put on some weight, and my clothes started getting tight. Now, well, they still fit, sorta. But like you, I am hesitant to just get rid of my things. I have a friend, from my WLS support group, who had surgery 2 days after me. Because she was a little larger than me to start with, I can't wait to pass some of my best pieces on to her, knowing that it will save her money, and help the clothes to "live on" through her! lol Also, the idea of a quilt is wonderful! I have several shirts, and you all know what I'm talking about, that I should have gotten rid of pre-op due to stains on the front. But as I think about it, a quilt from the rest of the shirt sounds wonderful. If you're not crafty, maybe you have a relative or friend that would help you out. My support group has a clothing exchange, and many people take advantage of it at every meeting. It's a wonderful thing and makes you feel good that you could help someone else. Personally, I'll probably end up keeping all of my summer clothes in totes until the spring. I guess what I'm trying to say is "don't be scared". Most of us have felt the same way you do, but no, you will not be able to wear those clothes next year!! Good luck! Amanda ~LAP RnY 09/11/02 -33 lbs
   — MommaBird

October 10, 2002
Hi, I'll tell you what works for me, in my closet I keep the size I'm currently in, the size above and I always shop and buy the size below the one I'm currently in, that way I don't panick and think I'm going to be out of clothes if I gain or loose an ounce and I don't have to throw out all my clothes at once. Good Luck and you'll see it's rather fun to do....Diane
   — Diane B.




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