Question:
How do I tell HR without telling them everything?

I work for a BIG entertainment company and the Human Resources Department is more like "gossip central." How do I get the time off for this procedure without having to go into details with the HR personell? I'm pretty much out of sick leave and not much vaction time left. So do I take the time off with state disability? I don't have my surgery approval or a date set yet..but am actively working on it. Any and all sugestions will be helpful. Many thanks in advance...    — chickiewickie (posted on September 24, 2002)

September 24, 2002
Just tell them you need time off to have surgery for health issues. They can not fire you and they can not force you to tell them the nature of it and they can not deny you the time off. California is big on Privacy Laws. They just are not obligated to pay you if you have used up your sick pay. You can file for state disability and checks usually start within 14 days. If you have the lap RNY then you could be back to work in one to two weeks.
   — Sue A.

September 25, 2002
When I applied with my HR dept. for short term disability and sick time benefits, I simply stated in the space for the diagnosis that I was having "Abdominal Surgery". I didn't state what kind or why I needed it. I have found through out this whole journey that I didn't feel comfortable sharing my surgery with everyone. When asked questions about what kind of surgery I was having or how I lost so much weight so fast, I simply answered that I had had some health problems. No one pushed for more details and I never had to resort to telling anyone that is was none of their business or that it was a private matter, both were answers I was prepared to give if I was pushed. I've found that all to often we think we owe other people an explanation when we really don't. When asked a question, I no longer go into a lot of details if I can say in a a word or 2 enough to satisfy the questioner. Especially about private matters, I just don't let people intimidate me anymore. Maybe losing the weight has helped me to do that, I'm not sure. I just know that I have enough to deal with in my life and I can't afford to worry about leaving someone with less information about my private life than they would like.
   — Teri D.

September 25, 2002
Before my surgery I was talking with the head of our human resources department about insurnace and I mentioned that I was hoping to have surgery. She immediately asked me not to give her any details. She said that legally she should not know the details of my surgery - so I didn't tell her. Later because of some insurance difficulties (the day before my surgery), the entire executive branch of my company got involved in it so there was no keeping the secret. However, the President, CFO and two vice presidents spent an entire workday trying to solve the insurance problem. So you shouldn't have to tell HR anything except that you need to have surgery.
   — Patty_Butler

September 25, 2002
Thank you all for the input. It has helped a great deal...
   — chickiewickie

September 25, 2002
I told them I was having bariatric surgery(most normal people don't know this term) and when she asked what it was I just said they are rearranging my intestines do you really want all of the details. Conversation ended there and I was approved.
   — Linda A.

September 25, 2002
First of all, your health issues are confidential. As a manager, I have to sign confidentality papers...and I am sure that HR has to do the same. The way the company worked at when I had my surgery is that everything went to corporate HR and even then not everyone got to know what it was. There was a case manager who only handled FMLA and STD and that was the only person who saw my medical records. If you go on FMLA or STD then paper work will have to be filled out by your surgeon...so unless there is a dedicated person who will handle your case confidentially...then the less you tell them, the better off you are if you are afraid of them "gossiping."
   — Ilene M.