Question:
I'm dating and afraid to eat in front of my dates!

I was in a LTR for 8 years. I'm now 23 years old and hitting the dating scene again. I'm 5'5 and currently weight 196 so I'm not a rack of bones but look pretty good. I'm getting asked out constantly and the guys that ask me out are always saying "wanna grab a bite to eat?" I usually just change the subject or meet them late, past meal time. Am I being paranoid? Should I go out to dinner with them? I'm worried that they will see how little I eat and wonder why. What are some good things to order? I was thinking salads. I guess it's just the whole thing...If I was a size 2 everyone would just think She eats so little that's how she's so skinny but at my weight people probably just think I'm starving myself. Can anyone help me out?    — Angie B. (posted on September 9, 2002)

September 9, 2002
My feeling is this: You really don't have to explain yourself to anyone. If you go out on a date and just order a salad and water, it's really nobody's business. I seriously think that no one will ask you why you're eating so little. If you order a full meal and eat only a few bites - then so be it. Since I had my surgery 6 months ago, I'v gone out to dinner w/people that don't know I had the surgery, ordered full meals and always taken home leftovers, not once has anyone said anything. I think that WE definately pay more attention to what we're eating than other people do. Think about it, if the roles were reversed, would you look at what someone else was eating or not eating, and if you did, would you comment on it? Chances are that you wouldn't! If I were you, I would go out, have fun, enjoy yourself - and if someone says anything, you can chose to respond and give details OR, you can just say that you aren't that hungry or that you're trying to watch what you eat - it's up to you! Just have fun with life, you're young and have so much ahead of you!
   — Rosario T.

September 9, 2002
I get this some times too. Not on dates because I'm married, but when I am around people who don't know I've had surgery. At a wedding recently my mother in law pointed it out kind of nastily. I tell them many different things. You could say, I just ate a few hours ago, not that hungry now, I'll get JUST A BITE. I usually say that I eat every few hours so I don't eat much at one sitting. A lot of times though, people don't even notice! Try to get the boys eyes on you and not your plate (i.e., short skirt, low cut blouse hee hee) Order something small so when there is not alot on your plate left over, it looks like you almost finished. Take lots of very small bites to your meal lasts as long as his. AND HAVE A GOOD TIME!!!
   — Lucky Gal U.

September 9, 2002
I have been going throught the very same thing, I have found soup is the answer for me, which I love by the way. I just tell my date I could eat soup 7 days a week,it is my favorite, I have had a few make comments about how little I eat, I just tell them the meal is really filling to me. No more questions asked. Congrats on your NEW YOU, Hugs
   — Jeri P.

September 9, 2002
I too am dating. I go out to dinner and am very up front with my date. Usually I take a doggie bag home and eat it for a few days. U are worrying to much about what people think. I think about me know. My friend now thinks its cute and he lets me order fro us and we share.
   — Patty J.

September 9, 2002
I am with Samara K... Distract him, have great conversation to keep his eyes on you... and he won't worry about what's on your plate :-) and if you decide to accept this mission.... hahahha... Keep us posted... ps... Alot of the time we are the only ones thinking about how much we eat... or don't eat... HAVE FUN!!
   — California J.

September 9, 2002
Here's another idea: Whatever you order, cut it up into pieces throughout your meal and move it around on the plate alot. Makes it look like you ate more than you actually did!
   — Angie M.

September 9, 2002
I had to face this same problem when I went for a lunch interview approximately 2 months post-op, and I could only eat a few ounces at a time! I really didn't want my new boss to think I was weird, so I ordered the steak and potatoes and also a side order of soup (without "stuff" in it - just bouillon). I quickly drank the soup (first), then worked on the mashed potatoes (amazing how much mashed potatoes you can eat post-op) and then only ate a few bites of my steak, until I felt full. When my interviewer asked if there was something wrong with my steak, I said, "It's a little rare for me, but it's okay. I don't want to complain about it ..." This approach must have worked, because I got the job!
   — Terissa R.

September 10, 2002
If you go on a date with a guy and he actually pays attention to what you eat, marry him. Seriously, I really don't think that guys will pay much attention to such a detail. Order what you want, eat what you want and don't make a big deal out of it.
   — Amber L.