Question:
Sometimes I really don't care if I stretch my pouch
Although I lost a lot of weight 120 pounds in 10 mos, Sometimes I really wish I could eat more. I hate sitting down to a delious meal and find that I can't eat much or throw up if it doesn't agree with me. I am truly truly bless and grateful for this operation, but am I wrong to feel (sometimes) that I wish I can enjoy my food. Whenever I sit down to eat I have to worry is this gonna stay down, or make me sick, or will I have to throw up. Its especially concerning when I go to a resturant. Oh course I love the weight loss but I'm still not used to this new stomach of mine. I still would do it again but I just wish that I was blessed with the ability to eat and eat and never gain. Do you know what I'm trying to say. for example yesterday I ate fish (have eaten before, never any problem) but I threw it all back up and was sick and couldn't eat all day. I will never eat fish again. thanks — Rebe W. (posted on July 15, 2002)
July 15, 2002
Rebe, you are not wrong to feel this way. I think we all wish we were
blessed with being able to eat everything under the sun and being able to
stay skinny. But we werent. Instead we were blessed with being such
strong women who will do what it takes to live life to the fullest. You
are such a strong woman for going through this surgery and losing the
weight and keeping it off. Yes it sucks that you cant sit down and pig
out, god knows I miss that too at times, but your renewed self confidence
and health are so much more important. Think of what you have gone through
in the past year...girl, you can do anything! Food is no longer in
control, you are.
— Rachel W.
July 15, 2002
Why do you place so much importance on being able to EAT more? Are you not
satisfied? Have you not ever expirienced satisfaction in your past 10
months? I sometimes think, WOW, isn't great- I am full.... as I push my
plate back. Try to truly enjoy what you have to eat- but slowly- enjoy it's
quality. We, for a long time, have only enjoyed the quantity! Portion size
is all relative. What you deem as small, to someone else may think as a
bounty. Just go slow at every meal. As for the fish, sometimes it works
for me, sometimes it doesn't, I just try not to put too much importance on
food. You know the old saying, we should eat to live- not live to eat.
— Karen R.
July 15, 2002
Original Poster: Thanks so much for your response. You are right, I
should feel glad that I can't over eat.
Thanks Racheal for the encouragement and you too Karen. Like you said, I
shouldn't put so much in food. I quess I need to do more with my life and
I am doing so much more for the first time in my life. Sometimes I get
depressed but thanks for the therapy. May God bless all my friends here.
— Rebe W.
July 15, 2002
Don't feel bad. I too feel the same way. It is really hard on Christmas,
Thanksgiving and Easter when I really want to chow down. However I started
out at 319 pounds and wearing a loose 56 jeans. I had many jeans over the
years that were to small, but I could'nt bare to throw them out. Anyway,
I'm now down to 170.75 pounds and wearing a loose 38. Today I finally
coughed up the money to buy my "first new jeans in years"... and
I decided to skip 36 and go right to a tight 34. Now to make it even
sweeter, these are REGULAR JEANS, and not the "fat ass" relaxed
fit! I NEVER would have imagined that I could ever wear anything under a 48
again (after being 56) let alone go down to 34! My goal is to wear a 30 (28
would be even better but probally not obtainable). So when I mourn the loss
of "eating for taste and pleasure", I think of not being ashamed
of my weight. And although that does'nt change my sadness of losing the
ability to gourge on holidays, now I'm not ashamed to have my picture taken
then! Hallelujah! :)
— Danmark
July 15, 2002
Rebe- I thought I may add that I am sure one time or another every one of
us have felt like you felt....
— Karen R.
July 15, 2002
Oh, My, Gosh!!! I do understand what you are saying!!! It's hell isn't
it!!! Cakes, and icecream and pie...OH MY!! Mostly these are fleeting
thoughts for me. As soon as the situation is over, I am really glad that I
was not able to over eat and "pig out". But during the
experience, sometimes, I could almost cry. I try to tell myself that this
is what I asked for cause the "pigging out" is what got me here
in the first place. And I am right when i try and tell my self that. After
one of those experiences, I try to "treat" my self with a sugar
free something...usually a sugar free fat free icecream from TCBY yogurt!!
IT helps to know that there is something out there that is just for ME!!
— Vicki L.
July 15, 2002
Someone at work asked me, "Aren't you just trading one set of food
issues for another?" And yes, in a way, she's right. But what I have
to remember is the RESULTS of these issues are much better than the results
of the "other" ones.
— sheltie
July 15, 2002
I know what you mean. Today I was in Starbuck's with my husband, who is
also watching his weight (and can I add here that for the first time in our
life together, I now weigh a lot less than he does? YAY!!), and I was
staring longingly at some kind of fudgy Nanaimo bar type thing in the
pastry case. Thing is, I could have eaten it, or part of it -- the
nutritionist who works with my surgeon is quite clear that we shouldn't
deny ourselves treats, but just take care to not overdo them. But I decided
(key word here: decided) that the fudgy looking thing, tasty as it looked,
wasn't worth the "cost" to me. Not today, anyway. The cost, of
course, would be that I'd have to watch my other foods a bit more carefully
to compensate for my splurge.
Like you, I'm about 10 months out. Have lost 127 lbs. so far, another 15 or
so to go. One of the things I've learned to do in the past year has been to
really, really appreciate the small amounts of food that I do eat. For
instance, over the Xmas holidays, I ate a couple of ginger shortbread
cookies -- I spent about 20 minutes with those cookies, and really savoured
them. In the old days, I could easily have polished off a dozen in a
sitting, and gone back to sneak seconds when no one was looking -- but why?
Why would I want to do that, when my body is telling me that I don't need
it, and the scale is telling me how well I can do without it? Of course,
those cookies are not the only "treats" I've had -- but these
days, I think carefully about what I put into my body, and when I do have a
treat, I make sure it's the best damn treat I can get! Quality over
quantity, I guess.
I hope you can get past your current funk, and start to find replacements
for your friend, food -- life has so much more to offer us!
— Karen I.
July 15, 2002
I know exactly how you feel but I'm only 5 weeks out. That scares me a
little. I have looked for support here and everyone tries to help butI'm
not the "norm". What I miss is the volume eating. I had VBG so I
can eat sweets but I never really craved them before too bad. I miss eating
alot of food. I really wasn't expecting that. I thought if I could taste
whatever I wanted I would be fine. WRONG! I want to eat alot so bad. I
could care less about the cupcakes and cookies, I want 2 huge plates of
spaghetti with garlic bread and a "bad" salad and then maybe some
cheesecake or something. This is so hard! Sorry I am venting when you are
looking for support but I guess this is my way of asking for some too.
— LaKeAffy
July 15, 2002
For those of you that crave something sweet try the Dr, Atkins 'Induldge'
chocolate bar...it's really good and better nutritionaly than the other
sugar free brands. I have had bites of regular sweets but that has been
enough to keep me happy, and not regularly eat those I might add. Sometimes
I find when I am hungry or craving that mysterious something by adding an
extra protein shake it makes that craving go away. Good luck.
— Aimee P.
July 15, 2002
Hello. I just had to add my two-cents worth. I am 6 wks post-op and I
have a stretched pouch. (I had VBG). Actually, the doctor said my lower
esophogus was stretched, so food was backing up into it. I can eat almost
like I could before surgery. It takes a lot to make me feel full. So,
that leaves me with being disciplined enough to stop after I know I've had
my amount of alloted food. If I could do that, I wouldn't have needed
surgery. Actually, somehow I have been able to stop because I guess I know
this surgery was my last resort and the only answer is another surgery to
RNY in the future, which I don't want to have to go through. I am really
praying God will give me the strength to stop when I need to in order to be
a success. I do understand the longing for the food, I felt the same way
for the first two weeks when everything was intact the way it was supposed
to be and I couldn't hardly eat anything. But, just think about how upset
you would be if your pouch actually was stretched and your "tool"
was taken away! I try not to think about the future, about whether or not I
can keep saying no on my own when I want to eat more, but just try to take
it one day at a time. That's all any of us can do. Best of luck to you.
— KRISTI K.
July 15, 2002
Wow, Kristi really added a good perspective on this topic. I understand
the idea of sometimes wishing my pouch was bigger -- but at the same time,
if faced with the reality of it, I wouldn't really want that. I keep
thinking to myself, "what's more important, being healthy or eating
that cookie?" And the healthy side always wins. Maybe I'm just lucky
that my willpower has finally kicked in (of course, AFTER surgery, ha),
because I'm finding that I can eat nearly anything at only 5 weeks out.
It's good and bad, as many of you can attest. I can have a little bit of
my favorites if I want them, but then there's always the worry that I'll
want even more. But I think, if you really think about this being
something that's going to help you in the end, and debating with yourself
what's important...you'll find that you appreciate the surgery more.
Little tip: I recently bought some diabetic/low-fat cookbooks, and they're
great -- have some yummy sounding recipes...maybe making some things at
home would help.
— Karen B.
July 15, 2002
I so understand this! I was/am a volume eater. I would NOT be able to
stop if I had the capacity, or at least I don't think so. When people ask
if it bothers me, I have to honestly answer that the bad news is: I can't
pig out any more. The good news is: I can't pig out any more. It helps me
to focus on the postive, since I HATED the way I felt physically &
emotionally when I could eat my way to misery. This is MUCH easier. I get
up and still feel light & comfortable. By the tiem I've completed that
whole thought, my desire for "more" is just fading away.
— vitalady
July 16, 2002
Why in the world would you want to keep eating large quantities of food if
you are not physically hungry???? Sounds like the 'old you' is still
hanging around!
Not trying to be mean here, but just listen to yourself! Don't piss it all
away just for the sake of gorging yourself silly.
— Dan T.
July 16, 2002
Maybe it's a 10 month thing? I'm about 11 months out and lately find
myself mourning that as well. As my old MO problems fade away, it's easy
to forget what I've gained as I've lost. When I find myself regretting not
being able to eat that whole piece of cheesecake, it helps me to remember
how physically difficult my life was 11 months ago and that makes me feel a
whole lot better about the making the trade.
— mom2jtx3
July 16, 2002
Rebe, everyone of us wishes that we were able to eat and eat and not gain a
pound. But none of us that have had the surgery were able to do so. I
always "hated" those skinny chicks who were able to eat anything
and never gain an ounce. Grrrr....And I think most of us mourn the comfort
that food used to give to us and the comfort of sitting down to a heaping
plate of food. But you did say that you would still do this again, so you
are more pleased with your weight loss than you were 120 pounds ago. I
know that I get a little annoyed when after just a few bites, I am full
when I want to keep eating/tasting. But then I think, wow, just that much
filled you up. Cool! As for enjoying your food, it shouldn't be a worry
to you-pick something healthy you like to eat and eat very slowly savoring
every bite. You'll be fine and your right there is alot of great support
here-its the best!
— Cindy R.
July 16, 2002
Rebe, I totally understand! The hardest time I've had so far was the first
6 weeks or so. I would be watching tv and see a Burger King Whopper
commercial or Kentucky Fried Chicken commercial and think
"Yummy!" and be really bummed. My first trip alone to the
grocery store (at 5 weeks post-op), I was overwhelmed at how much stuff was
there that I couldn't have. I went home in tears. Now, almost 6 weeks
later, I don't have the cravings like I used to. Now I get hungry and
think "ok, what can I have?" and find something yummy that I can
have. As I'm growing smaller, I'm growing stronger in my resolve to eat
the right things - in the right amounts. Confession: This past weekend, my
boyfriend had some leftover spaghetti in the refrigerator. When he left
for work, I helped myself to some...more than I've eaten since my surgery.
Big mistake! I was throwing up 5 minutes later. That taught me the lesson
that the plate of spaghetti was not as good going down (or coming back up
lol) as my memory of enjoying it was! I'm still learning. Good luck. :o)
— Jennifer A.
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