Question:
How do you cope with celebrations, holidays etc?

Hi. I am still pre-op but I am concerned about how post-ops deal with all of life's opportunities to celebrate. What do you do when it's your birthday (or your kids) and there is cake and all kinds of tempting foods? How about Thanksgiving? After all, sitting down to that huge turkey with all it's trimmings, and pumpkin pie to finish is such a tradition. There are just so many reasons we are bombarded with food and encouraged to eat lavishly ---- Easter, Christmas, birthdays, Fourth of July, Anniversaries, graduations ----the list goes on. So how do you deal with the temptations? Do you feel like you are missing out? Or that it's not fair that you can't eat those foods anymore? I'm being honest with myself here... I love food and enjoying it with family and friends in a feel-good life situation will be hard to change. I'm curious about how others have coped.    — Katie E. (posted on July 8, 2002)

July 7, 2002
Thr first couple of months can be a little rough. But, once your stomach heals, you should be able to taste anything you want, and it will satisfy your cravings. I love not being able to eat the way I used to, and I'll be 3 years out in Aug., and I've never once felt deprived. It's a wonderful thing!
   — Leslie F.

July 7, 2002
I think you must have to ask yourself if being able to "enjoy" all of those fattening foods and the occasions of overeating is worth all of the pain (emotional and physical)and suffering that goes along with being 100 or more pounds overweight. For me, I no longer enjoyed those times anyway because I just felt that people were looking at me and judging me for eating so much when I was so big already. Now that I have lost over 130 pounds and am at my goal weight (almost 2 years since WLS) there is nothing that I can think about eating that would make me want to gain back any of the pounds I have lost. There are SO many SF and lowfat foods that are delious that I don't even miss them anymore. Just last week I was kind of wishing that they would come up with a SF Drumstick icecream treat. Low and behold, I was shopping at Super Walmart and discovered that Blue Bunny has! And boy are they good. They have 13 grams of fat in them, so I save them for times when I haven't had much fat. They are also higher in calories than what I like to eat in one sitting, so again, I will save them for special times. We (my husband had WLS 6 weeks before me) and I still enjoy the big holiday gatherings with the family just don't eat as much as everyone else.
   — livnliter

July 7, 2002
After a few months out its NOT a problem! I am nearly a year out. The first couple months are rough. But last thanksgiving was fine. Big group and everyone chowing down... I enjoyed what I ate, and have a little of everything, including pies and cake. Moderation is the KEY! With my small stomach I first eat the good foods, then by the time to have cake, a very small piece will do fine. Incidently we went on a cruse in june, both me and Jen are post ops. Food unlimited. Neither of us felt deprived, and had a fantastic time. Best part was seeing Jen able to walk and get around without having a asthma attack. At a year out I eat about to a bit less than normal thin people! Thin folks on cruises dont eat to ill as I suspected. Relax you will do great!
   — bob-haller

July 7, 2002
I had Thanksgiving at 2 1/2 weeks post op and didn't feel deprived in the least...and that was when I could only consume bits and pieces! I have one of the surgeons that encourages eating soft solids right away. Turkey doesn't fall into that category, but my nutritionist ok'ed a tiny sliver, and so I did. I had the turkey, and teeny tiny amounts of everything else (except the warm buttery yeast rolls, yes I was a little envious). But when I was done, I was full, tasted everything, felt satisfied that I had my Thanksgiving. And for the first time in my life, I lost weight during the food-eating holiday!! That was more fun than a big plate stacked high, or seconds. You will find that the benefits of losing the weight and feeling SO MUCH better, far 'out-weighs' eating lots of food! Oh, and the birthday cake thing...I just don't want it anymore. I know that sounds odd, it still does to me. I just don't have any desire to eat all of that sugar. It actually sounds repulsive. I would much rather eat my fav. sweet...honeydew. Was that me that said that? NEVER thought that would be me! I was a SUGAR addict! Had to have my sweet, then salty, then sweet, so on. I could never get enough. I'm embarrassed of some of the things I used to 'hide to eat'. That would be an interesting question posted here. I've rambled enough, but I worried about the same things pre-op that you are asking about. You will do just great! And if there were those that missed the food or celebrations with food, you would hear it on this board, but instead you hear of all of the accomplishments and that this was the best thing they have ever done!
   — Cheri M.

July 7, 2002
Everyone's suggestions are great, but here's something that nobody has mentioned. I'm only 2 months post-op (-40 pounds, by the way!), so I haven't yet had a holiday or birthday celebration to worry about. But I've decided one way that I will allow myself to participate in such events is to be in charge of fixing the "sweet" foods. For Thanksgiving or Christmas, a few of us bring the dessert. I'll just bring a dessert made with Splenda, and I'd be willing to bet that NO ONE will be able to taste the difference. Same goes for birthday cake. Obviously, if I don't have the opportunity to make the food, I'll sample a small amount of it so I don't get sick. And with non-sweet foods, eat a few bites of each food to get a taste for everything. I have found that I really am amazed how satisfied I feel on such small amounts of food. As long as I get to eat the same kinds of foods that others do, but in much smaller amounts, I don't feel deprived one bit. Before surgery, I was afraid that I would feel deprived, but I don't. The only time I felt deprived was during the first 3 weeks when I was on a liquid diet. Yuck! But believe me, you'll be so thrilled to finally be on the losing end instead of the gaining end that you won't mind the small portions!
   — Kristie B.

July 7, 2002
Honestly, the celebrations become more about the people and traditions and less about the food. You will be able to eat a bite of this and a bite of that...it is not really that bad! Actually, when you count the number of days a year that "celebrations", holidays, birthdays, etc. take place, it's manageable...I do know what you mean, and don't get me wrong, there are times that it is difficult... but definately doable...the consequences (nausea, heart palps, fatigue and diarrhea) are just not worth it to me... and they won't be worth it to you either. It is going to be okay...wait and see! Warmest regards,
   — Ann B.

July 7, 2002
Well, we just had July4th, and I had been on a plateau for almost 2 weeks. Not only did I break that plateau, I have gone down 8 pounds in the 4 days since. I even made homemade ice cream for that day, made 3 batches including one sugar free one. I had tons of water that day, watermelon, the sugar free ice cream, and at the meal I ate a few bites of baked beans, a few of potato salad, and the lean meat off 3, yes 3, barbecued ribs. I did eat the ribs a little faster than I should, and I was uncomfortable, but it stayed down. And I went down 3 pounds the next morning. I'll be 6 months postop on 6/25. Like the others said, you can still have stuff, just use Splend for your sweetener, it tastes just like sugar, and eat just a little of the other stuff. I haven't tried sugar since surgery,and I don't want to. I don't want to find out I could tolerate it. Plus, I have not had soda;regular,diet, flat, any kind at all, since my surgery. I'm down 96 pounds. I know that's slower than most, but I have shamefully not walked.
   — L. Maillard

July 8, 2002
I went to a July "4th" (it was really the 6th) party this weekend and I really enjoyed myself. I felt like I ate like a pig, then when I thought back on it I realized that I had about 1 1/2 oz brisket, a couple bites of baked beans, a couple bites of green bean casserole, some corn/cheese/cornbread concoction, a bite of sausage, AND THAT'S IT! I was completely satisfied. When I got ready for dessert, I had some of the trifle I had made with no refined sugars, some banana pudding, and a bite of a brownie. I felt like I had eaten lots, tasted everything I wanted, and was satisfied. And everyone else appreciated my no refined sugars dessert--it was all gone! If I want something, I have a bite. Most of the things that make me really sick I don't want anymore--like a goopy chocolate cake (called appropriately "sin")--one look nauseated me. I knew I couldn't eat it so I didn't put it on my plate. BUT I enjoyed what I ate and ate what I would enjoy. On birthdays I just make sure I get a very small piece from the interior of the cake (never was much on icing anyway) and just eat a few bites. It tastes good and rarely do I eat enough to make me sick.<p>If you dump easily just volunteer to bring a dessert that you can eat. Most of us don't dump on fruit sugars (in moderation, of course :) and I have had good luck using granulated fructose. Splenda works too but I always have to add more to make things sweet enough then it has a faint aftertaste to me.
   — ctyst

July 8, 2002
I went to a July "4th" (it was really the 6th) party this weekend and I really enjoyed myself. I felt like I ate like a pig, then when I thought back on it I realized that I had about 1 1/2 oz brisket, a couple bites of baked beans, a couple bites of green bean casserole, some corn/cheese/cornbread concoction, a bite of sausage, AND THAT'S IT! I was completely satisfied. When I got ready for dessert, I had some of the trifle I had made with no refined sugars, some banana pudding, and a bite of a brownie. I felt like I had eaten lots, tasted everything I wanted, and was satisfied. And everyone else appreciated my no refined sugars dessert--it was all gone! If I want something, I have a bite. Most of the things that make me really sick I don't want anymore--like a goopy chocolate cake (called appropriately "sin")--one look nauseated me. I knew I couldn't eat it so I didn't put it on my plate. BUT I enjoyed what I ate and ate what I would enjoy. On birthdays I just make sure I get a very small piece from the interior of the cake (never was much on icing anyway) and just eat a few bites. It tastes good and rarely do I eat enough to make me sick.<p>If you dump easily just volunteer to bring a dessert that you can eat. Most of us don't dump on fruit sugars (in moderation, of course :) and I have had good luck using granulated fructose. Splenda works too but I always have to add more to make things sweet enough then it has a faint aftertaste to me.
   — ctyst

July 8, 2002
The phenomenom with me is that I obviously have always gauged what I eat against what others eat. I pay attention to what is on their plate so they must be looking at mine. Totally not true. No one even notices. And, I also see that people eat so fast I'm the last one even with small quantities. So you will just have smaller portions of everything you want. Believe me you will stop when you are full, temptation or not! Keep the faith.
   — Mary U.

July 8, 2002
Because only a few bites I feel like I've eaten a hugh Thanksgiving meal and don't have any desire to have more. I eat the protein first as a rule on all meals and then the rest just isn't appealing.You'll see! Believe me, your not different from any one of us who loves food. Also, it's forced behavior mod. I love licorice, but after getting sick on it several times it's not so appealing to me. That's why it works so well!
   — ZZ S.

July 8, 2002
Great question! This was a major concern for me as well. I have a very busy business and social calendar and of course almost all of it, ok ALL of it, involves food. Whether is be business dinners, cookouts, parties...you name it and there's food. I am 10 weeks post-op and I have been to at least one party or even every weekend for the past month and I have been fine. I have even had a bite of a dorito or chip here or there, but I find that as long as I do my protein first (lean hamburg, chicken, fat free hot dog, seafood, etc) then I am not even concerned about what everyone else is eating and I don't even crave the same things that I use to. Birthday cake was my absolute fav treat and I am not phased by it in the least anymore. I have a sensitive "dump" trigger so I won't touch sugar at all and it still doesn't bother me to see what others are eating. I also don't eat any rice, bread or pasta and I thought that would bother me as well, but it doesn't. Do I wish that I could eat my fat free hot god in a bun instead of on my plate, HELL YEAH, but it will make me sick so why bother? Also, out new tummy's are so darn small that after a couple of bites you won't be hungry anyway....that's the beauty of this surgery. Another key element to all of this is your water. I find that it is much easier for me to make good food choices if I get all of my water in. You will also find that most food function have green salad. I find that I can eat about 1 cup of salad so that makes me look like I am eating what a real person eats. Perception is reality.
   — pam29922

July 8, 2002
I agree with what many have said here, that food is really less of an issue for me since having the surgery. I am only 9 weeks post op, but have already found that it is other people who are concerned about what I am not eating. I am satisfied and they are all worried or "sorry" that I am not eating cake, breads, etc. I just tell them not to fret so...I am happy!!!
   — Brenda A.

July 8, 2002
In the beginning I did have problems with beginning amongst a lot of food during parties, but it has certainly gotten better. Last Saturday I went to a party where they had a lot of seafood. I had two fried shrimp, three crab balls, 1/2 a hushpuppy and about a teaspoon coleslaw and baked beans and then I got up from the table while everyone else kept eating. Then later I had a bite of cake. I was fine. Didn't feel that deprived, but in the beginning it was a different story. I think it is normal to feel a little deprived in the beginning, but give it some time.
   — Lisa N M.

July 8, 2002
Funny, I am in the Outer Banks, NC on vacation with 26 family members (14 bedroom beach house). My family is food-obsessed, but I was not dreading the week because I felt I had control. Funnier still, I got here, had control and about 10 pm, I was just going crazy, not able to sit down, pacing. So I (being the only sober driver) volunteered to go out for ice. It was when I was driving alone that I realized why I got weird -- habit has me eating and drinking in the evenings. I didn't know what the heck to do with my hands, what my role is now. Once I realized what the issue was, shared it with my DH, things were better. Drank my Instant Breakfast amidst 5 dozen donuts this morning. And I'm happy about it! Look for my post next week when I am crushed that I gained weight despite my efforts!
   — Karen F.

July 8, 2002
Hi. I am 8 months post-op. I had my lap rny surgery and had a birthday 6 days later, no cake. I was so sad. But's here how I've learned to cope. I do alot of the cooking. For instance, for July 4th, I prepared a huge bowl of potato salad, dozens of deviled eggs, prepared italian sausage for the grill, etc. I get involved so much with the cooking that I really have to desire to eat like I used to. Those days are OVER. I still love to cook tho.
   — Annie H.

July 8, 2002
Great question! I am one month post and have been finding that there is always SOMETHING I can eat. My birthday is next week and while the rest of the family is eating cake, I will be having a pie.....sugar free/fat free pudding on low fat graham cracker crust with some lite cool whip. mmmmmmm....yummy! There is always something. For Thanksgiving I am thinking some mashed potatoes, veges, and some more pie! (all little quantities of course!)
   — emilyfink

July 12, 2002
I find Holidays and Special Occasions to be Hell. I eat whatever I want, but of course food tastes so good that you don't want to stop. Me, I live for "stuffing and gravy". Garrrr. So Thanksgiving is VERY HARD. Not that I don't eat whatever I want on special occassions but a few bites and I'm full...yet I desire to continue eating for pure pleasure. But thankfully, most of the time WLS does'nt restrict our pleasure. We can't be lucky all the time can we, or we would be back to being heavy. ;)
   — Danmark

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