Question:
IS IT NORMAL TO WANT TO BACK OUT BEFORE THE DATE
My surgery is sceduled for 6-11-02 which is 3 days away. i am thinks about backing out because i am getting realy scared, about the long term effects this may cause. Does anyone have any suggestions? — Michelle B. (posted on June 8, 2002)
June 8, 2002
Your feelings are perfectly normal. I was terrified right up until the
time I went into surgery. I even cried all the way to the operating room.
But deep down, when I thought about how my life was going to be if I didn't
do it, I knew this was the right thing to do. Now, I'm almost 8 weeks post
op and I feel great. I can honestly say, even though there are days when I
get angry that I see someone eating something that I want and I know I
can't have, I can already see a huge difference in my attitude and
behavior. I no longer obsess over food. For me it came down to the fact
that I was already miserable with my life and I had tried everything else.
This was my last shot at having a good life. Good luck to you.
— Shona M.
June 8, 2002
Hi. I just had surgery 7 days ago, i know exactly how you feel. I was very
scared. if you want you can e-mail me. I would constantly think, did i
really do everything i could to lose weight? and what if something happens
to me. but i was just kidding myself. I know i did all i could in the past.
I am only 22 right now, but i want to live a good life. ALthough I am
still in some pain right now, i wake up every day and know this is so worth
it. i am losing weight and cannot wait to start exercising and eating
better. I think this will be a great new, healthier life for you. And
although there MAY be a minimal chance of complications from the surgery in
the future, think of all the problems you will have from being obese in the
future as well. Take a deep breath, write in a journal, e-mail other AMOS
members, talk to your family. Don't give up! goodluck! ~HUGS~
— Lezlie Y.
June 8, 2002
I think that is because we initially see this surgery as
"elective" surgery, but when you really think of it, it
is essential for us to give us a healthier, and probably
longer life. I looked at it very clinically, that is,
that it was not elective but the treatment of choice for
the medical condition that I had. Somehow, that chased
alot of the questions and fears away. Honestly, I waited two years before I
was really ready. I was so scared at first, I wouldn't even pursue reading
about it. But, as time went on and my weight escalated, I decided that I
had to give myself a chance to learn about and get treatment for this
problem. It takes awhile to really be comfortable with it all, and maybe
you are just not ready yet. That's okay...because when you are you will
know it, and then your success will be assured!
Best wishes in whatever you decide to do.
— Ann B.
June 8, 2002
My surgery is scheduled for 6/17, and I feel the same way you do. I am
scared something will happen during surgery, that I'll have a stricture,
that this won't be the answer for me and I'll just find a way around the
surgery and later gain the weight back......you name it, I've thought about
it. At the same time the rational, less emotional side of me tells me that
I cannot go on living my life the way I am now, that I have to do something
and it has to be drastic in order to work for me (God knows I've tried
everything else with no success), that I have a very competent doctor and
good support. So, I have a constant conversation with myself about how
this surgery will be good for me. Good luck!!! Let us know how things
go!! Loretta
— Loretta E.
June 8, 2002
Yes, this is a very normal emotion that you are experiencing. I was all
phyched until I laid on the surgery table, actually the morning of my
surgery and if it hadn't been for a very supportive friend coming along
with me, I probably would have backed out. But as long as you KNOW this is
what you want, and as long as you have researched your surgery and know
his/her history, then you are in good hands. Another thing that helped me,
I got on here and asked for all the prayer warriors to pray for me. They
did. I truly believe in the power of prayer. I will pray for you. At 7
months post op and down 80+ lbs., I am off 3 of my 4 meds., walk 3 miles a
day, feel great, everyone is noticing the weight loss, the compliments are
rolling in, which in itself lends encouragement. By the way, my surgery
was complication-free, the hardest part is the "head hunger".
Have a good last meal and get on with it. You'll be fine. I wish you well
on this toughest part of your journey. I also have a friend who backed out
of her surgery on the morning she was scheduled, and altho she won't admit
it, she is now miserable and back to square one. So consider all this, and
DO IT! We will all be here to support you and answer every single question
you may have as you travel every step of your journey. Proverbs 3:5&6
— Annie H.
June 8, 2002
My only suggestion would be to really make sure this is is your last option
and is worth the risks to you. I spent over a year researching, got
approval, got a surgery date (May 29, 2002), and backed out. My major
concern was the long-term complications since honestly, no one knows, and
I'm young with a relatively low BMI (42ish). I figure I'll wait and if I
decide to have surgery later, that'll be ok. I'm not gaining any weight
right now at least. Just be honest with yourself and make sure you've
exhausted your options. With or without WLS, you'll have to change your
lifestyle pretty dramatically if you're going to lose the weight and keep
it off. Surgery would definitely make it easier, but I'm not ready to take
the leap yet. Best of luck to you in whatever you decide.
— [Deactivated Member]
June 9, 2002
Renee R. -
I clicked on your name to see your profile page and it's empty. I'd like to
write to you via email because I've also decided to back out of the
surgery. If you would like to contact me, my email address is on my
profile. You might want to read my last post on the bottom of my profile
page just to see where my thoughts have been over the last few weeks. Just
click on my name (which we also have in common!) at the bottom of this post
to get my email address. *smile* I'd like to talk to someone else who has
the same concerns about long term effects of this surgery that I do. For a
while now I've felt so alone because of my decision. Most people here seem
to be concerned about surgical complications or death but I seldom read
anything about other people having concerns about the long term effects of
this surgery. The lack of statistics on the long term effects of this
surgery is the issue that started me thinking that I'll wait a while before
I jump onto the operating table. I'd really like to talk with someone else
who has the same concerns I do so I don't feel so alone. If you would
rather remain anonymous, I understand that and respect your feelings. I do
hope to hear from you, though .... good luck to everyone, no matter where
you are in your journey.
— Renee M.
June 9, 2002
You have to compare the long term effects of morbid obesity with the long
term effects of WLS. My decision was easy. The doctor said I would die in
a couple of years and I was becoming less mobile. My young daughter had it
because she could see her future BMI 50) plus she could see how well her
aging parents did with the surgery.
— faybay
June 9, 2002
Hi Michelle. My surgery is scheduled the day after yours. I've had
thoughts about backing out for the same reasons, but I figure right now I
am looking at long term problems such as diabetes and heart disease like
all the other obese people in my family. I am willing to take the chance.
My prayers are what help most. I kept asking God to give me a sign if this
is the wrong thing to do and I have been more and more encouraged everyday!
Now, I have a very calm feeling. I'm happy in the decision and know God
will take care of me. Good luck in whatever you decide! If you back out
now, surgery will always be around at a later date. My prayers are with
you!
— emilyfink
June 9, 2002
I had my surgery on April 15th and I was all excited to be getting this
done, then after the consultation and everything a surgery date was
scheduled, I was freaking out. I had the same thoughts you are having, but
I must say, now over 40lbs lighter and doing great, I am more than happy I
did it.
— stacey1273
June 9, 2002
Hi, Michelle. ANYTHING you are feeling is normal for something as major as
surgery. All Emotions Are Equally Valid. If you weren't at least a little
apprehensive, I'd worry. This is big stuff you are facing, and you are
facing it bravely, head on. You can be PROUD of yourself for admitting
that you're a little frightened. I know from my own experience that I was
nervous about the outcome of the surgery, but I can say now that I'm not
one teensy bit sorry, and I'd do it again. Courage, Michelle, and courage
again. You are doing JUST FINE!!!! Margie B
— Marjorie B.
June 10, 2002
Michelle, I felt the same way (wanting to back out). Up until April 18th
(when my mom died suddenly at age 54) I was not nervous one bit. After
that day, I was afraid every day. On the morning of my surgery 5/16/02 I
was waiting to be taken to the operating room and I remember thinking
"It's not too late to back out". I'm so glad I didn't. Heck,
even the day after surgery I thought "Oh my God! What did I just
do?" After I got home from the hospital and didn't have acid reflux
anymore, I knew exactly what I had done. I made a decision to save my
life! I'll be a month post op on June 13th and I've lost 25 pounds! I
feel that if it weren't for everyone on this website's prayers and
well-wishes, I wouldn't have had the courage to go through with the
surgery. Also, I had about 50 + home church friends praying for me and my
friends and family! In fact, my roommate, Lara, prayed with me while I was
waiting to have the nurse check me out (on my surgery day) at 6:00am!
Prayer and faith in God are what helped me curb my fears. You're not
alone, so lean on God and lean on your AMOS freinds!! ~Rachelle
— rdszakacs
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