Question:
Is there anyone who doesn't like their appearance post op?

I am 13 months post op and I am way below my goal weight. I started at 263. I THOUGHT that I had been staying around 123 for about 2 months (first thing in the morning, birthday suit). I went for my post op check last week and the scale said 123 ( middle of the day, with clothes on). It just so happened that the battery died in my wonderful digital scale and I replaced it the next day. When I went to weigh (again, first thing in the morning, naked as a jay bird), It said 119!!! It was balanced and is an incredibly dependable scale. I am getting way too skinny. I am not liking what I look like. (Those that are preop I apologize for complaining about something like this.) I feel like I look soooooo much older than I am. I am 37 and I look 47. I have trusted that I will "bounce-back" a little, but when does that happen? I realize the wonderful health benefits to being ideal weight, but really wondering if anyone feels like I do? I don't have a lot of loose neck skin, I just looked wrinkled and too skinny/boney! Any thoughts? Suggestions? How do I stop losing weight? (what a totally weird problem! Thanks everyone! Shelley    — Shelley. (posted on March 4, 2002)

March 4, 2002
Shelly ~ I am not in the same situation as you are, not at all...I'm just the opposite, at least for now. I would think that there is a way to get some opposite affects going - I mean, look at how we've lived most of our life. Talk to the doc, tell him your concerns. Have you thought about a face lift or tummy tuck? It's something my doc told me I may want to consider after the weight loss. Good luck to you.
   — [Anonymous]

March 4, 2002
Have you tried upping your calories? Maybe by getting in a few more carbs. If you're still losing, you're taking in fewer than you are burning, so eating a little more might help to balance that out.
   — garw

March 4, 2002
Dear Shelley - I hope that God and my mother will forgive me for what I am about to say here. I look like my mother now that I have lost weight. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, my mother was a wonderful person! BUT, that said, I look like she did when she was in her 70's not in her 40's like I am. My mom had always been heavy for as long as I can remember. Then in her 60's she developed congestive heart failure. They put her on a lot of diuretics and a strict diet and she lost a significant amount of weight. Her health declined rapidly in 1999 and I was her major caregiver since she lived with us. Now when I look in the mirror when I get out of the shower I see my mom's body - thin, extra skin and hanging, nonexistant boobs. This is depressing and I avoid looking at my body almost as much now as I did when I was obese. I know that plastic surgery is supposed to be an option, but my insurance won't pay for it and I have two kids in college so don't have the funds to pay for it out of pocket. As far as continuing to lose weight, have you talked to your doctor about this? Can you increase your caloric intake? It is pretty amazing to think that a formerly obese person could be concerned that they don't weigh enough, isn't it? Good luck!
   — georgiacarol

March 4, 2002
Shelly, I feel exactly like you do and am almost at the same size as you are. I started out at 280 and today I weighed in at the doc at 112. I'm 43 and I know that I am going to sound sooo ungrateful so I too, apologize to all the preops and people still trying to get to goal for what I am going to say here. I am wayyyyy too thin and look at least 53 right now. Losing the weight has added at least 10 years, if not more to my looks. I am nothing but bones and have NO breasts at all...just skin. No hanging skin on the neck or face but my face is so thin that I look anorexic. The rest of my looks like a sharpai puppy. Now, I too know that this is the last ting I thought I would be saying had you asked me 4 years ago, but it's the truth. I can tell you that it firms up alittle from the first year but in my case, it just wasn't enough to make a big difference in my appearance. I too, hate looking in the mirror now. I don't like what i see any better than when I was large but know that at least I am viewed as alittle more "normal" by society. I have tried and tried to gain weight to no avail. I gained 10 pounds last year (yes, it took me a year to gain it with really trying) and I lost all of it plus another pound this month alone. If you find a solution, let me know. Thanks and good luck.
   — Barbara H.

March 4, 2002
Time, time, time. I lost all my wt in 13 months, too. But it took til 18 to stabilize. I wandered around a little before I parked. And the diff between pix in Dec & June was absolutely astounding. Not much diff in wt, but by then, the muscle tone had started to return, there was something BETWEEN the skin & bones and it wasn't fat. It was that collagen layer. For awhile there, I could sit in a straight backed chair because my spine tangled with it. But it gets better. Give it time. IF you are RNY, I'd figure you're gonna bounce around for a few more months. It's probably the only time in your life you'll be "too skinny", so enjoy it a bit.
   — vitalady

March 4, 2002
I went to the sauna with a girlfriend and when we got naked she blurted out that I looked like a balloon that somebody let the air out of. My entire body looks like a scrotal sack. Thank God I start the reconstructive surgery phase this year. As for your predicament, I have two suggestions: eat more and exercise. Build up some muscle tissue and drink some high protein, high carbo milkshakes. I am eagerly looking forward to that time when I simply MUST graze to maintain a decent weight, although I doubt that will ever happen. And, of course, make sure you follow up with your surgeon. It may be that you are one of those rare few who have to have the common channel lengthened to increase your absorption. Bless you!
   — merri B.

March 5, 2002
I am pre-op so cannot offer advice, but DO NOT apologize for the wonderful weight loss! That gives me great hope as a pre-op.....especially since I am at 263 also! Maybe some reconstructive surgery would help you feel better about yourself? Congratulations on the success!
   — emilyfink