Question:
I'm going back to work on Tuesday. I only told a couple very close, trusted
friends why I was out. I know when I return the questions will start again. How do I handle comments on my weight loss? What do I tell people when they ask why I was out? I don't want to offend anyone and I'm not ashamed of what I did. Right now it's personal to me and my life is completely changed because of surgery. I don't want the added pressure of everyone knowing. HELP. — Janice P. (posted on February 13, 2002)
February 12, 2002
When I return to work, I intend to simply tell people that I had a
procedure done and the doctor has me on a strict diet. Other than that it
is none of their buisiness!!
— [Anonymous]
February 12, 2002
The only people in my life who know are my husband, my mom and my surgeon.
That's the way I wanted it. I told my boss/co-workers that I was having my
gall bladder out. As far as the weight loss (I am now 9 mos post-op and
lost 80 lbs.) I told them once I got my gall bladder out I decided to put
myself on a strict diet. Noone really asks me a lot of questions they are
just happy for me. The only hard thing in the beginning was going out to
eat with friends. They would ask why i would only take a few bites of my
meal and be done. I just said I was full or not feeling right. Which was
true. Best of luck.
— [Anonymous]
February 13, 2002
Janice...it is your life and your choice to keep this a private matter.
Tell them as another person suggested that your dr. has you on a very
strict diet. On a funny note my aunt mentioned to her best friend that I
am having this surgery. About 10 years ago we noticed that this friend of
my aunts was losing a lot of weight very quickly. My aunt even feared that
her friend was sick. Well last week that friend admitted that she had WLS
back then. My aunt was a bit upset because she had feared her friend was
sick, but it was nice to see someone I personally know 10 years out from
surgery and doing wonderfully. So you might have some questions not only
about your quick weight loss but also about your health. Just do what
Tommi did all those years ago...smile, hold your head up high and say
you're doing fine...never felt better. Best of luck to you!
— SARose61
February 13, 2002
When people ask why you were out, smile sweetly and say you had to take
care of a personal matter, thank them for their concern and tell them
you're glad to be back to work.
— JoanneML
February 13, 2002
Your changed eating habits and your weight loss will be dramatic.
I'd just say that I had some "gastrointestinal surgery" to
explain my
time off and that should suffice to explain a dramatic weight loss. But,
I don't think you'll be fooling too many people for too long. Wls is no
longer a secret. It's been in all the women's magazines and all over the
talk shows and featured on the magazine shows. Time off...surgery...a
dramatic
weight loss. Folks will connect the dots. To be honest, initially, I only
told
a few trusted work friends. But, when I came back to work I was completely
run down
and listless. I was eating next to nothing. People put two and two
together and came
up with some type of CANCER! I had worked with many of the same people for
over ten years;
we had a relationship and many of those people were extremelty worried
about me. I couldn't
let them suffer like that. I just told the truth...to a few "big
mouths"....who told everyone
else. After that everyone was very supportive and happy for my success. I
admit that after a few
months I got real tired of hearing "You look so good" and
"How much weight have you lost now?". But
that was just a minor annoyance....and it passed.
— [Anonymous]
February 13, 2002
At first I told just a few people around me at work and of course my
friends. But as time went on I was getting more and more information on
this stuff off the internet and I felt I had to share, only because I was
so excited. The floor that I work on has about 250 people and I bet 90% of
the people know...either by me telling them or by others. I was embarassed
at first but now everyone is being so supportive of me it is just crazy. I
have 6 more days until my surgery and I will be walking around and people
will ask me "How many more days?" and of course I tell them.
Also they all ask with a smile. That is the best. I feel the more people
that know...the less uncomfortable I will be when I return from being gone
on leave. Everyone will just be anticipating my return to watch my
progress. And hey if it gets to people who end up being a candidate for
this then I was a help to them in some wierd way. I work in a 12 story
building and I have people on at least 7 floors wanting to know more
information or when my surgery is. So take a deep breath and this will
kinda let down your guard that you have had to put up because you were
maybe self-conscious of your weight or something like that and this will
help you in the future as you are shrinking. I wish you lots of good luck
on this...we are all here for each other.
— Donna S.
February 13, 2002
I can't imagine anyone being so cloddish and nosy as to ask why you were
out...but that's my world. I would just say "I don't discuss such
personal details", smile and change the subject. I've already told the
small group I associate with at my workplace (I pick up work and then work
from my home office). They know what kind of surgery I'm having and I even
found out someone at the company's brother had the same surgery. In my
case, I don't see anything wrong with telling people...everyone close to me
knows and is extremely supportive. But if you consider this highly
personal and it's no one's business but yours, then I would handle it that
way. I certainly wouldn't worry about offending anyone. It would be
offensive to ME if someone asked why I was out. But some folks have no
manners. Hugs, Joy
— [Deactivated Member]
February 13, 2002
Ann Landers once said something very wise to handle. If you forgive me for
not asking that question, I will forgive you for asking it.
Its no one's business. I am a big one on my privacy, I tell people what I
want them to know and nothing more
— Diane Rhoads
February 13, 2002
If anyone asks say it was a "woman problem"/"girl
thing" no one will ask again. :o)
— Rebecca K.
February 13, 2002
I have told everyone. I think telling people that you are losing weight by
going on a strict diet is the worst thing you could do. To NORMAL people
this reinforces the misconception that we morbidly obese people have no
control and that if we just don't eat as much (diet) we would be thin--that
our obesity is all our fault. To the obese person they get the message,
'Oh, another diet. Why can't I do it (lose the weight and keep it off)
this time.' I know I always wondered that. What was wrong with me--why
don't I have any control over food. I am so grateful to Cheryl who told me
about this life saving surgery. She told me the truth.
— NancyNorris
February 14, 2002
I didn't tell anyone at work about my surgery. It is NONE of their
business. When I went back a month ago, people that I hardly new had the
NERVE to come up to me and ask me specifically why I was out. At first I
tried to be polite but if they kept pressing me I told them all sorts of
stories. Some people got the "I had a baby" story. I had a little
girl and her name is Bertha May.( My best friend who works with me cracks
up when I say that because I am SO NOT mother material) Others got "I
started the long line of procedures for a sex change" story. I came
back 55 pounds lighter (Started at 280) so people took immediate notice and
the rumors about my "stomach stapling" started. I just let them
talk and keep my mouth shut. It's MY body and MY life, I don't owe them any
explanation and neither do you! Good luck and hold your head high as that
weight falls off. Soon they'll be talking about how they wish they had YOUR
body. :)
— vbenedict0208
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