Question:
Is there anything you can do to avoid having buyer's remorse post op?
I'm pre op with a surgery date scheduled for April 1st. I have been doing a lot of reading of member's profile pages and notice so many go through buyer's remorse for the first few months. Some of the posts seem so depressed and regretful (even though I know after some time passes and weight is lost, they no longer feel this way). I'm in no way trying to down play this as I feel it is serious, but can someone tell me why this happens and how bad it really is? And is there anything that a pre-op can do (other than educate themselves) to help avoid or lessen these feelings when post op? (for example, does loosing weight pre-op help?) Any advice appreciated. Thank you! — A. S. (posted on February 1, 2002)
February 1, 2002
Some people (myself included) felt terrible after surgery. I was depressed
and thought I had made the worst decision of my life. Here I am though five
months out and feeling much better. Just keep a positive attitude and
remember the depression and feeling sick are only temporary! Focus on how
much healthier and energetic you will feel.
— Beth F.
February 1, 2002
I think a lot of it is that people often have unrealistic expectations, and
when they are not me, they are obvioulsy let down. They read how
"everyone else" is losing xx pouinds at xx weeks, and if they do
not match the highest possible person, then they are failing. Its not a
race, you have 18 months or more to lose. Also, losing weight doesn't
necessarily make you more energetic, happier, more wealthy or more
beautiful. Remember, the primary reason to do this is to gain health. And
that is hard to for the first few weeks, cause you might feel crappy. Try
to keep a positive outlook, don't obsess about the scales, don't compare
yourself to others, use proper pain management, and try to set up a support
network if you don't live with close family or friends. Seek help if you
need it. That's my $.02 at 10 months out.
— M. A. B.
February 1, 2002
I am 1 month post op from LAP RNY and I am also a Nurse. I have had
numerous surgeries in my life for different reasons.I can tell you that I
went into this surgery with my eyes wide open and knowing all of the risks.
I worked in the OR , so I knew what they were going to do to me.I ended up
having alot of bleeding after my surgery and they had to take me back to
the OR to look around and see what was going on.They ended up giving me 3
units of blood.I had this surgery to save my life and yes I had a
complication and it was handled very well by my surgeon.I don't have
regrets that I had the surgery. I do find that I have little energy, and go
through bouts of depression, but the thing is that I expected this to
happen so I am prepared for it. Anesthesia and surgery always does that to
me. Alot of patients say they never even had any post op pain. I did..But I
used my pain meds that were available.The only advice I can give you is not
to compare yourself to anyone else.I also lost about 25lbs already which
has added to me being weak and tired. Right now my body is adjusting to the
weight loss.I think this whole thing happens because your body has gone
through a shock of having your intestines rerouted and has been through
trauma. The body is resilient and it does adjust, you just have to be
patient with your body as it heals.Going into this with a poaitive attitude
helps and also eductaing yourself on the risks of the surgery.Yes this is
major surgery and is not to be taken lightly. Good luck to you.
— garyzgurl
February 1, 2002
Anybody who tells you that the moment they woke up they knew they had done
the right thing is fooling you :-) no offense to anyone. I went theough
about the first two weeks feeling horrible, not from the pain, but the
emotional head hunger, and knowing I couldn't eat. After about the 3rd
week I realized (DUH) I could eat, just smaller amounts and I had to chew
each bit a billion times which really helped because, by the time I chewed
and swallowed, and started another bite, I could tell when I was getting
full. I know longer eat because it tastes good, I eat because my body
needs me too. I promise any regrets you have immediately after surgery
will pass...God Bless you and Good luck!!!trina
— Katrina M.
February 1, 2002
Just understanding that the first 2 months can be very difficult should be
helpful to you. I researched and researched for over a year, but still
wasn't prepared for it to be so hard at the beginning. Nothing will change
the fact that you're going through major surgery and losing a big coping
mechanism (food) all at the same time. Depression is common. Have your
support system lined up (consisting of a local support group, or on-line
friends that have been there), hope for the best (it's easier for some than
others), but be prepared just in case it's a tough road at first. BTW, I
marked in my calendar when to expect certain milestones, like "you
should be less nauseous now", "you should have more energy
now" based on what I saw on the boards. By the time I got to that
week, those statements had come true.
— mom2jtx3
February 1, 2002
For me this period was not as difficult as it is for a lot of people, yet
it was by no means easy. I think a lot of things contribute to the feeling.
First of all you are in a lot of pain, second of all you can only eat a
very restricted diet of liquids or pureed foods, which is really awful
after a while and finally you're mourning your old habits. Although you
cannot eat much, you can't help but looking at others plates and yearning
for their portion sizes or craving a piece of chocolate or something. The
list goes on, and that in itself is very depressing. Then also being in
pain and eating disgusting food for awhile adds to it. I know I was also
frustrated because I was so restricted in that I couldn't drive for two
weeks, I couldn't lift anything over 5 lbs (you will soon realise that
there's not much UNDER five pounds!) and I just felt kind of helpless. I
was prone to tears a lot during this period, but I started coming around
soon. I think the key is not to feel sorry for yourself, but it's not very
easy to do when you're sitting at home not allowed do anything and bored
off your mind. If you want to avoid this, I would suggest cutting your
portions now, getting some books or something to do while you are
recovering and making sure you have lots of friends/family around to cheer
you up and keep you company. You will after a couple of weeks learn not to
mourn the food so much. You just have to tell yourself that although I only
have a few bites and they have a whole plate, mine tastes the same as
theirs and it takes me just as long to eat it, so there's really no
difference. Once you start believing this things start to get much easier.
Also try to keep positive and not give into the pain (I did this very well
at first, but then all of a sudden it all came toppling down on me and I
was incredibly emotional for awhile) as it will help you get by and be
easier on the people around you. Well, I rambled on a little, but I hope
maybe I gave a little insight, and this was just my experience, I'm sure
others will also have excellent ideas! Good luck with your surgery!
— Deborah W.
February 1, 2002
Don't fear. Everyone's experience is different. I only had one or two days
of depression and was able to move on. It does help to have food ready for
you when you come home so you don't have to think about what your going to
make. If your anything like me...I wasn't hungry, and didn't want to eat.
My situation is different in the way that I was able to eat
"regular" food from the time I got home. My surgeon does not
require his patients to drink liquids/pureed foods. That very well may be a
big difference in the posts your reading. If this is something you doctor
recommends then be prepared. Knowledge is power girl! Congratulations and
Good Luck!
— Emily P.
February 1, 2002
My faimly really helped in this area. My daughters made posters of all the
reasons I was having this surgery. They had a picture of me (when I was
skinny). They had pictures of themselves, my DH and all the things we
wanted to do. It was so much fun. They hung them up in my hospital room.
Everytime I was in pain or had to force myself to get out of bed I would
see those posters and it would give me the strength. I have never once
regreted my WLS. I am 2 months out and feeling great. I also prepared
myself for the worse but expected the best.
— Kathy P.
February 1, 2002
I am five weeks post-op and the depression has
been the worse part. I feel bad a lot of the
time. I have trouble keeping food down sometimes.
I often feel nauseous. In all fairness, I have suffered from depression
before the WLS but had it well under
control long before the surgery. I cry a lot.
I have wished many times that I had not had the
surgery, but I am holding on to the thought that
later I'll be glad. The up-side is that I have
lost 39 pounds. I had to go back to work this
week (4 weeks post-op) and that seemed to make
things worse. Now, I don't mean AT ALL to
discourage you from having the surgery. Just
realize that this may be something you have to
deal with. I wish you all the best.
— N M.
February 1, 2002
There are so many experiences post WLS. I didn't have a day of depression,
and I'm not trying to fool you like the previous poster said:-). I had to
wait 8 months for my surgery. I wanted it so bad that when it finally
happened I was just thankful to be on the other side. Maybe the waiting
period helped because it seemed like it was never going to happen. I have
been so very thankful for this answered prayer. I also did not experience
any pain, just some soreness. My friend called me post-op 1 day and was
surprised at how 'chipper' that I sounded. I was up walking the halls and
ready to go. I think that hormones may play a big role in the depression
issue. Surgery wreaks havoc on your hormones and can leave you feeling
blue. Also being cooped up in the house, cabin fever sets in and for that
I would go for a walk. The fresh air was wonderful for me. I think also
that you need to realize that you will be the same person coming out of
this surgery. If you have a problem with depression now, you will probably
have a problem with it post-op. If you generally are an upbeat person,
then you will probably do very well. I have had 2 strictures with
dilation, thrown up blood from a tear in my new pouch, and NOT ONE inkling
of regret. I love what this surgery is doing for me. ENJOY your journey.
— Cheri M.
February 1, 2002
I NEVER had a minutes regret. I had post-op discomfort, one or two
episodes of vomiting when I ate too much, but I have NEVER regretted having
the duodenal switch procedure. Maybe it was mindset prior, but I have been
more concerned about making sure it all worked out well, then regretting
it. The phenomenal success I have had with losing 200 pounds in 19 months
has been self-reinforcing. My only regret is that I didn't do this sooner,
but, that wasn't possible, so it is water under the bridge. Good Luck to
you!
— merri B.
February 1, 2002
I am 12 weeks post op and have not regretted my lap RNY for one moment. I
will admit....old habits die hard...and the eating issue is not easy. It's
only over the past few days that I am actually eating things that I
consider "normal" and not having any side effects. Being able to
stuff yourself with whatever, whenever, is the part I miss. Sometimes I go
from closet to fridge and back and forth again only to end up eating a
sugar-free ice pop, maybe one pretzel or tortilla chip. That is a
"pig-out" for me.
— Dianne K.
February 1, 2002
I've had less than five minutes of regret for my surgery in 20 weeks. Feel
free to read my profile. I think much of it has to do with knowing exactly
what to expect... and also, attending an in-person support group helps
quite a bit as well.
— Julia M.
February 1, 2002
hon i went through a program at ohio state university hospital , its a
complete learning program on how to deal with after your surgery. 12 weeks
of dietitery councling. a physc evelation , that way i was very prepared.
and have no regretes.also we do go through a mourning period over the foods
that we can no longer eat . i am almost a month out and i feel really good
no regrets.
— Mary H.
February 1, 2002
I am nine weeks post-op and I haven't had one moment of regret. I have not
experienced "head hunger" nor have I mourned the loss of food. I
do find that I crave different foods than before surgery. For instance, I
crave grilled salmon and tuna instead of Cokes, chips and candy. Pre-op I
drank as much as 60-80 ounces of Coke a day - haven't had one in 9 weeks
and 2 days and haven't missed it one bit.
The only preparation I had pre-op was being well educated. My surgeon told
me that my tastes would change, but in the back of my mind, I really
thought it would be a strugge. It hasn't been. I work in an office where
people eat all the time - staggered lunch times so there are always
inviting smells from the break room and there is enough candy in the office
for about 20 Halloweens. It doesn't bother me at all.
I think a lot of the people who have "buyer's remorse" as you put
it are the ones who either have had bad complications or who were not
prepared mentally for major surgery. I didn't find the pain that bad, but
I have had 6 major surgeries prior to this one - this wasn't nearly as bad
as some of the previous ones.
I haven't weighed since my 12th day post-op, but I know I am losing a lot
of weight - I am down 3 - 4 sizes since November 29. I go for my 2 1/2
month check-up a weeek from today, and if my calculations are right (based
on the clothes I'm wearing), I do believe I will have lost at least 60
pounds, maybe even as much as 75. Believe me, I have no regrets.
— Patty_Butler
February 1, 2002
I have a problem with anesthesia. I get post op depression no matter what
the surgery is. When I had my gallbladder out years ago I had the same
problem for a few weeks. With this surgery I had to take drugs for nausea
and I think the drugs also made me draggy, tired, and depressed. I don't
suffer from depression and never have, so feeling this way was a really bad
thing for me and did make me regret the surgery at first. At about 3 weeks
I began feeling better and snapped out of it. By the time all the
anesthesia was gone from my body and I was off the anti nausea drugs I felt
great. I think sometimes it's a chemical reaction.
Good luck
— Becky K.
February 1, 2002
I am 12 weeks post op and not one second have I ever had any regrets... I
would do it again tomorrow... I am down 67 pounds and feel great... the
only time I did not feel good and that was the hour after I woke from
surgery.. now tell me who would feel good then????? LOL.... I had never
heard the term buyers remorse when referring to this surgery...... hmm
learn something new everyday!!!!
— Pamela W.
February 1, 2002
Buyer's regrets -- I like that. I am pre-op here but after I had my
hysterectomy (37 years ago) I remember I sat on the couch and cried for all
the babies I couldn't have. I already had three, all I wanted, and the
surgery was to control my 60-90-120 day periods, so very medically
necessary -- and I REALLY wanted the operation. But there I was, bawling
my eyes out. Anesthesia? Hormones? Who knows. Nina
— [Deactivated Member]
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