Question:
Is it possible I will be able to help my child lose weight after my surgery?

I am very excited to have been approved for my open RNY, hopefully in late March or early April. My 8 yr-old son seems very sad and told me then I'll be skinny and that he'll "still be fat". He is the tallest kid in his class, and weighs about 110 lbs and the kids really pick on him. Has anyone had any success in helping their children to lose weight after the wls?? I feel so bad for him - I am certain that I am the cause for his extra weight - he would probably be athletic were it not for me..    — Jennifer C (posted on January 16, 2002)

January 15, 2002
Jeez, Jenn, dont be so hard on yourself! I understand completely, the guilt of having overweight children, and have felt terrible myself, for allowing my children to be heavy, but remember, we are dealing with the tools that our parents taught us, and that is the best that we have. If we were taught bad eating habits, it is likely passed onto our children. I think that I have gotten better over time, and Im sure that you will too.Maybe once the junk food doesnt appeal to us anymore, (im pre-op)we wont bring it home as much. And, once we become more active, we will be outside with them more also.So, Jenn, Im sure that this wls will be a great impact on the whole family.Good luck to you,Amy
   — amy T.

January 15, 2002
My 17 year old son has gone down two sizes since my surgery 10/12/00. I think it is because I don't have soda, cookies etc...in the house as much now.
   — Helen C.

January 15, 2002
You're not alone in your guilt. Both of my daughters (ages 13 and 18) are overweight. Did I do that? Sure I did. I didn't really care about what I fed them as long as they were well fed, I was a good mom. I baked, cooked and fed them to their present weight all with the intention of being a good mom (like in Leave it to Beaver). By the time I figured out that I had "good momed" them into being heavy, it was too late. They were there! My 18 year old has taken things into her own hands now and has lost 40 pounds these last few months and is really really exercising and losing. My 13 year old keeps making comments about how thin I am and I know that it bothers her that I am 4 sizes smaller than her. I am now certainly trying to help her but she's still at the "I don't care" stage. Genetics have helped these kids be heavier than others but certainly, mom didn't help it either. I know how you feel. Do I have an answer? Not really except to tell my 13 year old that I would be much larger than her but I had to resort to surgery. I don't want her to have to do that. She see it as an easy way out and says that eventually, she can have that too. IT'S NOT WHAT I WANT TO HAPPEN! I am trying to help her now with new eating habit. I hope to God that that will work.
   — Barbara H.

January 15, 2002
I think besides the tool of the surgery there are many other helpful things we learn to assist in weight loss. I have had my 11 year old daughter applying some of the tools and she has lost weight without even changing what she eats. Some of those tip that work for everyone are: Not drinking with your meals. Take small bites and chew, chew, chew. Before surgery my daughter and I would eat so fast we did not know when we were full, and the bigger the better when it came to bites. They change of lifestyle has been great for the whole family.
   — Kathy P.

January 15, 2002
I think it's very likely that you'll be able to help your son. First of all, he's young enough to be able to make some changes more easily than older kids (and I mean emotionally, not necessarily physically). Also, if you are eating better, he can too. The best thing would be to find things the two of you can do together to get some exercise. You can ride bikes, walk, go roller blading, go to the park and fly kites, swim. Well, you get the idea. Besides the good the exercise will do, you'll also be doing the one things kids want most from their parents, TIME TOGETHER. Good luck.
   — [Anonymous]

January 16, 2002
I really don't have an answer to this, but I can tell you that a lot of what made us obese is learned behavior combined with genetics. My Mom was/is obese and I learned a lot of my behavior from her. I really learned to love rich, fattening foods over healthy ones. I have a 4 yr old and a 20mo. old and pre-op we ate Burger King probably 6 times a week...either breakfast, lunch or dinner. I was feeding my kids all that fat,salt and sugar because that is what I was eating. I was depressed and didn't ever want to cook. Post-op...my eyes are OPEN. No more pop, cookies,candy, burgers,fries etc. on a daily basis. I will allow them to have it occasionally. That stuff isn't in my house anymore, for obvious reasons. Now, they have grahams, fruit, raisins, dried apricots, cheese, peanut butter crackers, yogurt, etc. for snack. Milk and occasionally juice to drink. I want them to get used to and LIKE healthy food NOW when it will be programmed forever. I think it isn't too late for your 8 yr. old because you are pretty much controlling what comes into the house. I'm sure there will be a certain amount of begging! LOL Try and teach him that old saying "You are what you eat!" That being said...I was a Whopper...in more ways than one!
   — Karen B.

January 16, 2002
I am only 2 weeks post-op today, but I've already seen a difference in the the way my family eats. Applying a few small habits (ones that I *have* to follow)seems to have made a huge difference Before my surgery, we talked about how I would have to change what and how I ate. We talked about the combination of factors that made surgery my only option. My boys (10 and 13) both wanted to be supportive. We went through the pantry and freezer. Since I was to be out of town for a week post-op, they set about cleaning out the fridge and pantry of all the no-no's for me. When I got home, hubby and I took them to the grocery store and as a family we loaded up on fruit, yogurt, 100% juice, LF graham crackers, cheese, etc. Everyone now eats at the table for all meals and snacks at MY pace. Dinner now lasts 30 minutes instead of 5. Jordan (age 10) walks 3/4 of a mile with me in the mornings. Matthew (age 13) walks the 3/4 of a mile with me in the afternoon. His doctor has also given him permission to lift weights with me, in addition to his Tae Kwon Do. They both asked to walk (I did not force them) in order to support me. Matthew and I will be taking tennis lessons together in the spring. Hubby and I bought one of those Gazelle machines and do it together in the evening. So far, everyone seems to be benefitting. Matthew (who is already an inch taller than me at 5'4) was weighing in at 150 but has lost 4lbs. Jordan (5'2) has lost 2 lbs. Hubby has lost 5lbs. Everyone is eating far better and grabbing on to a healthier lifestyle. I didn't force, or even ask everyone. They all get one treat I don't though. Once a week, they all head out for ice cream or something similar. You know, for a treat like normal people. LOL!! Just making healthy changes in your own lifestyle will set a wonderful example for your son. Before long, your whole family will be on the track to a longer, healthier life. Good luck.
   — Tina P.

January 17, 2002
Hi, I am 3 months post op, (oct 4-01 down 55+lbs) and I also have a daughter that is over weight, she is only 7 and she weighs 76 pounds, since I have had this surgery, I of course had to change my eating habits, so I have made my 4 kids eat a little healthier too, I buy low fat cheeses, and I have my kids drinking diet soda,(if they drink it at all)My kids like my sugar free koolaid and my lemonade. They also have went from 2% milk down to 1% milk. That is alot better for them. My kids eat healthier and so will yours. Just you see. Everyone in your household will be doing better.
   — TONYA B.

January 17, 2002
Since my surgery, my mom's eating habits have changed. I think actually sitting down and having one of my small meals forces her to think about how much she's overeating. She has cut back on her portions drastically since my surgery. I'm 10 weeks post op and when she went to the doctor a couple of weeks ago, her doctor congratulated her on her 10 pound weight loss!!! She told him it was because of me and my eating habits.
   — Patty H.

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