Question:
I don't believe I will lose enough
I am 4 1/2 mos post op, lost 75 pounds, at this time I am only losing 10 pounds a month. I don't think I will reach the 100 pounds mark at 6 mos. I have 155 pounds to lose and get so depress when I see most post ops lose 100 pounds at 4, 5, and 6 month. BTW I started at 305 and now weight 230. At 6 mos post op how much should I be down at this time. I'v always been a fast loser in the past so this is kind of distressing at this time. I want to be down to at least 150 by the summer... please help THANKS — [Anonymous] (posted on January 15, 2002)
January 15, 2002
First, stop comparing yourself to others. We're all different
and our bodies react differently to wls. Second, you're not in
a race. "Only 10 pounds a month" averages 120lbs a
year....there's
nothing shabby about that. So what if you don't lose 100lbs. in
6 months....I certainly didn't; yet, I managed to lose 150lbs. in
total. 305 to 230 in 6 months is magnificent, you are exactly
where "you" should be. How fast you lose isn't what is
important...the
fact that you "are" losing and that you are developing lifestyle
changes
that will enable to maintain the weight loss.....that's what ultimately
matters.
— [Anonymous]
January 15, 2002
Ther are no rules. Everyone is different. It is written no where that you
will lose 100lbs by six months. You say you are "only" losing
10lbs a month. Do you think you might be a little ungrateful? Very few
diets would even begin to put you at that level! You are doing wonderful,
and instead of beating yourself up, you should throw out that scales and
just measure yourself once a month. It's not worth the stress you put on
yourself. Here is an article I read on a website that might help you. It's
a little harsh, but it sounds like you need that right now:
"Quit -- and this is big -- QUIT COMPARING YOURSELF! Do not write in
and say so and so loss 50 pounds in six weeks and I only lost 40. What you
will get then is one of us post ops telling you to get a reality grip!
Consider that you are losing weight fast -- and if you were dieting you
would only lose maybe 3 pounds a week tops! Most people would only lose 1
or 2 pounds if not gain! This is not a race. Your only competition is you!
Base yourself on where you were last week, month, year FITNESS wise. I
have seen hundreds of posts from post ops over the time I have been on this
list lamenting that they are only lost 20 pounds since surgery three weeks
ago. HUH? Since when is 20 pounds in less than a month too slow? QUIT
RACING! Who are you in competition with?
Another thing, weight loss and how quickly you lose depends on a variety of
factors including age, starting weight, how the weight is carried, gender,
how long you have been overweight, calorie input, energy output,
metabolism, medications, and hundreds of other factors. The best thing you
can do to maximize weight loss is get your protein in, drink your water and
exercise. If you are doing all these things then you are doing the right
things. So don't worry that you have only lost 20 pounds since
February."
— [Anonymous]
January 15, 2002
Concentrate more on what you have gained from this surgery and you will
find yourself a lot happier. I am 18 months out and not as low as the
insurance charts have said but I have gained more than I have lost. I can
cross my legs, buy clothes in almost any store in the mall (well I could if
I weren't pregnant!), have gotten pregnant after years of trying and
failing due to PCOS, can ride rollercoasters, touch my toes (almost), and
do hundreds of other things I couldn't. The only weights that I used were
when I got below 300 pounds and then again below 200. Other than that I
didn't let my weight be a milestone. I found hundreds of things to make
milestones. So do yourself a favor. Make a list of everything you want to
be able to DO when the weight comes off that you can't do now. As you DO
them, check it off. You have reached a milestone more important than a
number on a scale.
— [Anonymous]
January 15, 2002
Success with this surgery does not come overnight. People post fantastic
losses in a month or so and then seem to panic because they can't keep that
loss up continuously. We have all done it. But the fact is we can't keep
losing constantly at a fantastic rate. Be it 20 pounds in two weeks or a
month, we can't keep that rate up. Our bodies won't allow us too. And when
we can't, we panic because we think we have failed at it. Well, give
yourself time. Seriously.
It will take you a year to lose the weight you are going to lose. It will
NOT happen overnight. Don't jump to conclusions in the first month or two
about whether or not you are succeeding or whether the surgery is failing
you or you are failing it. If you do, you are going to constantly end up
second guessing yourself and beating yourself up. Which may lead you into
old coping mechanisms (i.e. for emotional eaters -- food).
Yes the fact is there is a slim failure rate for this surgery. It happens.
However, maybe that depends on the definition of success. If you define
success as getting to a size 8, then maybe you will fail. Most people may
not hit that magic number.
So change your definition of success. Make success getting your health back
or keeping your health if you are healthier. Make your success achieving
those milestones I talked about earlier. For me it was finally getting
pregnant. If I lose no more weight or even gain a bit more, I still
consider this surgery a success because I have a baby on the way --
something which I couldn't do at 348 pounds no matter how hard I tried. I
can cross my legs! I can ride rollercoasters! I can buy clothes in a
variety of stores not just one or two. I can walk for long periods of time
without getting tired. That my friends is success.
Define it that way. Define it as being able to leave your house with your
head held high (something quite a few wouldn't do before surgery). Define
it as lowering the amount of medication you are on. Define it as getting
off medication. Define it as walking further, running faster, sitting cross
legged on the floor and being able to get up.Define it as being able to
chase your kids around the yard. Define it as anything you want but do NOT
define it as watching a scale go down. Why put yourself through the agony
of defining your success as a number when it is so much more.
Yes, this surgery is called Weight Loss Surgery but truthfully for me and
dozens of others it should be called Life Living Surgery. That is what it
can do. That is what it has done for me.
— [Anonymous]
January 15, 2002
Be happy that the scale numbers are going in the RIGHT direction!! They
aren't going up, aren't you happy about that? Don't you feel great after
taking off 75 lbs.? THAT is a lot of weight. I am only 9 weeks post-op
and have slowed to losing 2-3 lbs. a week already. But I decided to be
happy with that and I feel super. Everyone loses at different rates, don't
beat yourself up over this. Enjoy where you are in your journey and be
appreciative that you are not at 305 anymore!!
— Cheri M.
January 15, 2002
THe biggest side effect of this surgery is that we do not wake up in the
recovery room thin. We have 18 months, give or take, to get to our goal.
You are one third of the way there weight wise, and barely 1/4 of the way
there time wise. Patience is a difficult virtue. I know. You may not be at
150 by the summer, but know that your risk for diabetes, high blood
pressure and cardiac problems are much reduced. Best wishes.
— M. A. B.
January 15, 2002
First I would like to congratulate you on such a huge loss...I am pre-op
waiting on a date..and I think sometimes I feel like I gain 10 a month....I
also think at this point I would be happy losing two pounds a month..I am
not at your point...but as much as you have lost in 4 and a half
months....to me..thats alot!!! I am right at about your start weight..and I
plan to start dancing once 20 pounds is gone...maybe if you think how hard
to lose twenty was before you had this great tool available to you, you'd
revel in any loss..just a thought *smile*
— Jessica L.
January 15, 2002
Here am I at not quite 4 months and I've lost about 70 lbs. myself. I feel
I'm doing quite normally for someone who had about 155 lbs. to lose (I
started at about 305, too). I expect to be at -100 lbs. at 6 ot 7 months,
but it is a GOAL, not a written rule. I'll re-set the goal if I have to.
I am NOT going to love myself less for not reaching goal by a certain date,
I won't fall into that trap!
— [Anonymous]
January 15, 2002
Please forgive me if I sound insensitive but, please please take a good
look at yourself! A few months ago would you have thought that this was
not good? Losing 20 pounds a month? I am so sure that you don't consider
people who lose slower than you failures and yet, you are putting yourself
in that catagory and setting yourself up for failure. All of us get
alittle compulsive after this surgery and think that we are not doing well
enough. But like everyone told me, it didn't come on in 6 months and it
won't come off in that time either. You were 305 pounds! Isn't it just
great that you will be under 200 by summer? You weren't last year! Next
year most likely you will be at that goal of 150. We must all learn to
look at the good things and the things that we "have"
accomplished. If I, of all people did not look at the bright side of
things, I would have gone crazy by now. Be HAPPY! BE PROUD of yourself
that you have come this far. Boy, haven't we all had enough of putting
ourselves down and having unrealistic expectations of ourselves? You're
doing great...enjoy it.
— Barbara H.
January 15, 2002
Man, I hope I'm as lucky as you are in my weight loss! Who cares about how
much we are losing as long as we are losing and not gaining. I will be
tickled to loose 75 lbs. by 4.5 mo. I am 3 weeks and have lost almost 25. A
lot less then some but it's a hell of a lot more then I could have lost on
my own! Congratulations on the loss and realize there are newbies like me
that are envious of YOU!
— crishsapig
January 15, 2002
Just wanted you let you know I started at 320 so I can relate :-)
— crishsapig
January 15, 2002
I, too, want to start by saying congratulations on your success at this
point. You've done very well! <P>I started at a higher weight than
you and will be THRILLED when I reach a 75 pound loss. I am not quite 4
months post-op (next week) and I'm not even close to that. Does that make
me a failure? Maybe some would say yes, I don't think so. <P>I've
said before and so have others, if you compare your loss to someone else's,
it will drive you crazy. We're all different and will lose at a different
rate. The woman who had surgery 2 days before me has lost double what I
have. (She's also 20 years younger than me). <P>I left my doctor's
office at my 6-week check-up in tears because I was so upset. My initial
loss was slow and I felt like an absolute failure! I was depressed for a
couple of weeks, but finally worked through it. <P> The others who
have posted are right - you can measure success in things other than the
numbers on the scale. Even with my slow loss, I can wear my wedding rings
(and they're loose) that I couldn't wear before the surgery, I can cross my
legs, I flew without using a seat belt extender, droped 1/2 a size in shoes
and a couple of sizes in clothes. All of those are things I use to measure
my success.<P>Again, you are doing well. I understand your feelings,
but please remember, those of us who are losing at a slower rate don't post
it on the message board. If you go through the Q&A section, you will
find several questions about slow weight loss and wonderful responses.
I've read them all! Keep doing the right stuff and by summer you will be
suprised at how much your life has changed!
— [Anonymous]
January 15, 2002
I just want to say that you are doing so well, COngratulations!!! I had
surgery on June 2001 and so far have lost about 60lbs (started at 278lbs)
My surgeon keeps telling me anything in the minus is great in his mind :o)
I continuously read about people who are losing 70lbs plus just like
yourself and I wish I was a fast loser. Just think about how much better
you are feeling and probably looking too.... I have people all the time
tell me how 'thin' I look and I am still 220lbs, but have gone from a tight
28 to 16-18, I even bought a skirt (elastic waist mind you) that is a
12-14...I can even remember how long it's been since my clothing number
started with a ONE, can't wait until it's only one digit....
— Mandy M.
January 16, 2002
I started at 314 pounds with excess weight of 149 pounds to lose. I had
lost 100 pounds at around 7 months post op and then lost another 44 over
the next 8 months or so. Don't WORRY about any magic numbers. 10 pounds a
month is excellent! You have lost almost 1/2 of your excess weight in a
very short period of time.. you're ahead of the curve in my estimation.
Remember, some people who have lost 100 pounds at 6 months have had 250
pounds or more of excess weight to lose. You can't compare yourself to
others, especially someone who doesn't start with the same BMI as you.
Stop putting the pressure on yourself. You are succeeding.... it's no time
to get down in the dumps!
— BethVBG
January 17, 2002
Hi there! I just want to add my thoughts to the others, first you are
getting great advice from everyone. I, too, have felt frustrated with my
loss, but I am coming to terms with it, I am 8 months post and have lost
89lbs, I thot the first 100 would go in 6-7 months, but hey, it doesn't
always work the way you want it. Back off, take a deep breath and give
yourself a pat on the back and a big hug, you are doing wonderfully! It
WILL HAPPEN for you, you just have to relax, and know that if you are doing
your part, protein-vitamin-water-food wise, it WILL HAPPEN. Don't worry, BE
HAPPY!
surgery 5-31-01, starting wgt 370lbs, now 281lbs and dropping!
— potterylady
January 27, 2002
You are doing great! Don't think that you are not loosing fast enough, no
two people are the same. Also, you have to realize that your body may think
it is starving because of this quick change. That might slow down to
process. But don't give up and exercise this will force your body to react.
Good luck and keep up the good work!
— Sarah K.
February 7, 2002
I have not yet had my surgery, but think of it this way. What is the rush?
If you had not had this surgery would you be losing anything at all? You
have carried this weight all of your life, so what if it takes you an extra
few months to take it off. Did you ever dream that you would or could? Stop
comparing yourself to others. You are yuor own unique Goddess and God will
give you the weight loss as you are supposed to have it. Just enjoy the
fact that you ARE losing!
— catherine K.
February 21, 2002
I was feeling that way too when I was where you are. Now I'm almost 13 mos
post-op and sometimes I'M amazed by how much weight I've lost (137#)! I
still have a way to go, but I feel hopeful. Whether it's this summer or
next, at least it's on the horizon!!!
— Penny W.
February 22, 2002
I think some people have given you wonderful answers and some have been
pretty hard on you. I'm only 2 months post-op but I understand your
fear/frustration. I think many people (me included) get caught up in
rushing to get it off because there is a "window of opportunity"
in which you can get this off. All of us are afraid of not getting it all
off before the window closes. So in that sense, it is a race. Not against
each other but our own bodies. Unfortunately we don't have many ways of
gauging our success/failure except for compairing to what others have been
able to do. It's very natural to believe that we should be able to loose x
lbs in x amount of time when other have been able to. It's great to keep a
list of what we can do now as opposed to our lives pre op but that doesn't
keep us from worring that we won't get it off "in
time".<p>
One thing that has helped me to keep from being too anxious about it is
that many people on here that are several years out are still able to drop
a few lbs if they want to. <p>
I too am wanting to loose a significant amount before that dreaded swimsuit
season. I have a fantasy of surprising my best friend from High School
when I see her this summer. The only reason I haven't told her about this
is because I just want to surprise her! We spend a month together at a
lake each summer and I would love to be close to goal. But you know...even
if I'm not down 150 by then...ANY bathing suit I can fit into by then HAS
too look better than this size 28/28 swimdress (YUCK!!!) that I wore last
year. (Did I mention that even 20 years and 3 kids later she still wears
the same size she did in High School. If I didn't love her I would
seriously HATE her!)
— [Anonymous]
March 6, 2002
I haven't had my surgery yet, but I did just go to my seminar thing last
night. One of the things they talked about is what you are having a problem
with now. They said not to worry if you are losing slowly, or whatever.
That everyones body is different, and some will lose quickly, while others
will lose slower. One of the speakers said that while she lost fast, her
friend who had the same surgery on the same day lost slowier, but she did
lose all her weight. Just not as fast. So, don't worry if it is taking you
time. Also, if you increase your work out that will help.
— [Deactivated Member]
April 2, 2002
To the original poster, I can only say HANG IN THERE!! I know exactly what
you are talking about. I had my surgery on 7/13/01 and have lost 97lbs. I
feel great and love wearing a size 20 instead of 26/28. However, before
the surgery I had daydreamed of myself being in a 14/16 by now. I've
gotten so many compliments from people that it really makes me feel good
when I look in the mirror. OK, honestly, I was feeling good before the
compliments came in. For the first time in a long time, I could look in
the mirror and like what I saw! I like 263 a lot better than 350. I think
I'm in the midst of one of those weight loss plateaus. Try not to get too
discouraged though. I cried a couple of times because I was thinking that
I wouldn't lose any more weight. Then it hit me just how good I was
feeling physically and emotionally due to the weight I'd already lost.
Anything else that I lose will be wonderful, but I don't want to let myself
fall into my old pattern of "I'm a fat girl" misery. You've had
excellent progress thus far. Don't try to judge your progress by someone
else's.
— Jennifer P.
August 25, 2003
Interesting that I'd come across this dated question today... I am one week
shy of 4 months post-op and have lost exactly 75 lbs to date. I started out
at 367 with a BMI of 61+ and am currently 294 with a BMI of 48.9. While I
feel 75 lbs is terrific and is 1/3 of the weight I need to lose, I AM
scared because I still have over 150 lbs to lose and for the last 2 months,
I've only been losing about 2 lbs per week on average. AND I've been able
to eat more and more and the physical and head hunger has increased
greatly. As someone mentioned below, the issue isn't a race against others,
but yes, it DOES feel like a race against time and one's self. Assuming I
can continue at 2 lbs a week (10 lbs/month), I will have lost 155 lbs after
the first year. Which would be fabulous... Yes.... BUT, I'd still have 90
lbs to go... And the fact is is that my weight loss IS slowing down
considerably even at only less than 4 months post-op... So yes, I do
understand your concerns...
— CarolineAnnMartin
September 4, 2003
My doc told me, and several books have reiterated, that with this surgery
you can expect to lose 1/2 of your EXCESS weight. I'm 200 pounds
overweight, so I expect to lose 100 within a year to 18 months. I know
many people have done much better and that's a function of the individual
and how much dieting, exercise and other work he/she wants to do. Sounds
to me like you are doing well. Cheer up and start walking!
— terriny
September 13, 2003
If it makes you feel any better I am praying to reach 74 pounds by 4 1/2
months and am a little jealous of your weight loss. I just passed my 1
month and have only lost 28 pounds and get upset when I see people losing
40 poundsthe first month.
I think everyone is different and like another poster said it depends on
how much you have to lose.
— janni
April 4, 2004
I was down about the same at 4 months postop and since my 2nd month postop,
I've only lost 10 to 12 lbs per month on average. Yet, the numbers DO add
up and the weight comes off. Hang in there and stay patient...
:) Caroline <----- who's now down 168 lbs in 11 months despite the
"slow" weight loss.
— CarolineAnnMartin
June 10, 2004
Can you focus on what you are accomplishing be satisfied with what you are
doing and how that positively impacts your life? Can you move and
exercise? Have you been that was one key to my 170lbs lost in 1.5 years.
Mostly is mental attitude being determined to shift your life make it go
how you say it will go.
— Rachel R.
June 10, 2004
Our stats are very close. I started at 305 and I had 150 pounds to lose,
and it took me over 8 months to reach the "century" club (100
pound loss). Who cares? Is there some rule we have to get there in 6
months? I followed the rules, reached goal, have a normal BMI, and am in
no means a failure because it took me longer to lose and I didn't "win
the race". There are people that lost faster than me in the beginning,
but didn't stick with it to get to goal. So it has nothing to do with
speed. It has everything to do with your determination to get there.
— mom2jtx3
September 14, 2004
I have 288 pounds to loose. I am 3 months post-op.I have lost 60 pounds. I
have the same feelings that you do. But my RNY nurse had it done and at 3
months post op he lost 60 pounds also. He says that 60 pounds is great for
only 3 months.
There were times I weighed myself and I lost 15 pounds and then I weighed
myself the next time and i lost nothing.
Hang in there I think we are doing great!!!!!!!!
— Laura S.
October 21, 2004
Take it easy. believe it or not that is a lot of weight. Yoiu have to
beleive in your self and stick to the things that have help you in the
past.
you will loose it.
— ELIZABETH C.
February 1, 2005
Be patient! you will get there. there is no magic switch that stops the
weight loss. my surgery was 10/03...started at 263 and I am down to 141.
People are actually telling me i lost too much, i tell them they are crazy.
But I did have months where i lost nothing! Then the next month i would
lose 15. You have done great! so give yourself a break and trust the
process. You will get there!
Lori
CT
— lotoa
March 26, 2005
I would not get discouraged. Everybody is unique and will have a different
weight loss rate. As long as you are following your post op instructions
the weight should come off. Stay positive.
— Sheila B.
Click Here to Return