Question:
I feel like everyone is now staring at me....

I am a month postop from Open RNY. I'm down about 25 pounds or so. I've gotten compliments which are nice to hear. The problem is now I am feeling self conscious. It seems like everyone is staring at me. One friend was all excited for me and said, "You are the talk of the town!". Attention has always made me feel uncomfortable. I am wondering how I will handle it when the weight loss becomes more drastic. It feels so strange. Anyone else feel like this?    — [Anonymous] (posted on January 10, 2002)

January 10, 2002
I know exactly what you mean. I was just saying to my friend how I've never liked attention of any kind, and that I'm afraid of what it will be like when I lose weight. But just be proud of what you've accomplished so far, and what you'll accomplish in the near future. People are just staring because they are interested. Take it as a compliment and nothing more. Don't dwell on it, just be proud. Best of luck to you!
   — Jennifer M.

January 10, 2002
I understand completely. While I enjoyed being thin ten years ago, I have never been comfortable with praise or too much attention either. I like it, it just makes me uncomfortable. The people I work with have never seen me thin. Everyone is looking at me and asking how I did it. I don't want the whole world knowing, only a few close family members know what my tool is. I tell as much of the truth as I want known, I say I am cutting portion size and exercising. And those people who chose to look past me before when I was heavy are now smiling at me and flirting. I don't let it get to me. The people who were my friends when I was heavy are still the ones I give my attention to. Of course, new people get the benefit of the doubt. HAHA. Take it in stride. You have made a lifetime commitment to change. You should be proud of that decision. Just try to remember it's what is in your heart that is important. You will just have a smaller and healthier vessel to carry it in. I believe once people get used to our smaller sizes the staring and praise will quit. Then it will be the norm for you. Good luck
   — Rachel F.

January 10, 2002
Try to get used to it ... AND ENJOY IT!!! Would you rather stay where you were before? Sometimes when we lose weight we can't handle the attention and tend to want to gain it back just to be comfortable being "invisible" like we were before. Look in the mirror and tell yourself "HONEY, YOU LOOK GOOD!"
   — [Anonymous]

January 10, 2002
I am not post-op but I had a similar situation about 4 years ago. I weighed about 190 and managed to lose 40 lbs. It was the smallest anyone had ever seen me. I fluctuated between 180 and 190 for about 5 years. I was 150 lbs (140's some days) and I thought life would be grand!! I am a social person, so I never realized how much the attention (especially from guys) would freak me out. I was in a vintage store in NYC and trying on this great jacket, while the sales guy in the store stared at me and tripped over himself to compliment me and be sooooo nice to me!! He was not sleazy or weird or whatever. He was a screen writer waiting for his big break (like everyone in NYC). Perfectly datable guy. I was so self concious that he was "checking me out" that I bought the jacket with my head held low and fled the store for dear life! Now 5 years later, at 240 lbs., it all makes sense. I did not like myself, thick or thin, and so who could possibly like me? I have not had the surgery yet and am desperately hoping to because I believe that it is my last chance for health. But... the one thing I would like to do differently this time around is to work on ME (the whole me). Probably no matter how skinny I get or how fantastic I look (I'm supposing), there will always be those feelings of inadequacies and I think now at least I have the "smarts" to recognize them. I think more than desperately wanting to overhaul my abdomen, I want to overhaul me, including my head! Good luck to you!!! Tara
   — Tara J.