Question:
Post - Op self-image fears...

This is a great fear of mine. Oddly enough, I never really saw myself as fat. Well, I always KNEW I was fat, but I always had a fairly decent self image. Being clothed is one thing, but being naked is all together different. In the past, being fat, I always felt that when I was naked or even in a bathing suit it was no surprise to the person I was with. I am fat and that's that and it sure as hell doesn't disappear when my clothes are off, so being undresed is the same as dressed and I have nothing to worry about. I am worried that once I lose a ton of weight that I will have this hanging skin, and super droopy boobs, and be really scary looking when I get undressed. I am 26 and single so there will be times when I'll be in that position to "surprise" someone. I know it may seem trivial, but it's not to me. Any thougts from anyone? Thanks.    — PaulaM (posted on January 9, 2002)

January 9, 2002
I don't know what to say, except you're not alone in your fears! My "angel" who's 10 months post op today (I'm only 1 month) has the dreaded flappy hanging everything and even though we're married (um, not to each other) it's still a "self confindence" thing..
   — Elizabeth D.

January 9, 2002
Try not to worry yourelf so much about the small things. I am 27 years old and Whenever someone said to me "you will find that special someone and the hanging skin won't matter to them", I always thought "yah, maybe for you!!". But I have found that special someone. I have been dating him for 6 months now. I was with someone for 4 years when I had my surgery, and that person left me 6 weeks post op for his overweight X wife. That was hard for me. When I met my honey, I was straight with him. We've known eachother for 10 years and he knows that I was overweight, but never asked how I lost it all. I was up front and told him right away, and I also told him about my hanging sking (and despite my youth, I have a lot). It didn't matter to me. He makes me feel so beautiful, in and out of clothes. So I guess they were all right, that special someone doesn't care what I look like naked. You will find him too. Just be honest. Good luck.
   — enjo4

January 9, 2002
Know what? The only thing that I am still self consciece of is my long scar from the surgery. I am 43, and as time has gone on, my hanging skin and loose skin has gotten better. My body is tightening up alittle although the skin is still there. If you are in your twenties, and "if" you choose the lap, I can't see where anyone would even have to know about the surgery because it certainly won't be apparent. At 20-30 years old your skin is very elastic and I am sure that you will look beautiful, have no doubt. Haven't you ever noticed that as large people, others are always telling us what pretty faces we have???? LOL Therefore, we must all be the most beautiful people in the world! Go for it if you want and love will come, I promise.
   — Barbara H.