Question:
Can I do this by myself?

I'm divorced and have 2 young children. Can I do this surgery by myself? Suddenly I'm very nervous about having to go post-op alone - and I'm not prone to a lot of self doubt. Doesn't help that my ex told me he was thinking about going to Vegas about a week after my surgery! Dork! Need some reassurance from the single men/women who have done this without life in help of some sort. Please!    — Katy B. (posted on January 5, 2002)

January 5, 2002
What a jerk. I think you should definitely make him watch the kids the whole first week that you have surgery that way there will be someone to watch them while you recover. After the first week you will probably still be a little sore, but you will be able to go about everything normally again, so having the kids should be no big deal,most people are up and running after just five days post op so don't worry too much. I believe you can do it. Good Luck!
   — [Anonymous]

January 5, 2002
You don't say what kind of surgery lap or open, but I had an open and I wouldn't have been able to care for young children (especially toddlers) for AT LEAST 2 weeks. I got sick after the surgery and had alot of nausea, vomiting & dizziness when standing for extended periods. I slept most of the first 3 weeks when I wasn't hanging over a trash can. My own children are 11 & 13 and they waited on me like I was a queen and I was proud because I couldn't do much of anything without getting sick. Also on another note I have a home daycare (ages5 months thru 5 years) and my doctor said absoultely no lifting of children (or anything else over 15 pounds) for at least 6 weeks due to a hernia risk, so I took off 7 weeks and am back now doing fine. So really it depends on how you handle the surgery and what kind. Maybe grandparents can help or another relative. Good Luck!
   — [Anonymous]

January 5, 2002
katy tell that jerk u need him around to take care of the kids! my surgeon said no lifting for 6 weeks, & that includes my 2 furkids (toy poodles) who weigh less than 10 lbs.
   — sheryl titone

January 5, 2002
Hi I went to Spokane to have my surgery December 17 and it was cancled less than 24 hours before I would have had it done on the 18,01. I new that I wanted my mom there with me and she was there for the one that was cancled but she was leaving for Umma, AZ the day after Christmas Which meant she would not be home for my next surgery. She told me she wanted me to wait until they got back in April. I couldn't wait that long I was too worried that my Insurance would change and then I wouldn't be able to get the surgery. get the surgery. I have to admit that I am not very proad of myself the way I handled talking my mom in to being here for me but, I really needed my mom to be there with me. It was so hard going through having my surgery called off at the last minute I knew that I was not going to be able to do this by my self if there was any chance something was going to go wrong. I do have four sisters and they would be really mad if I told them that most of them were not capable of giving me the emotinal suport that I would get from mom! Everyone is different and YOU MIGHT BE A VERY CAPABLE PERSON. STRONG ENOUGH TO DO ANYTHING YOU PUT YOUR MIND TO. I have been Divorced for 17 years and I belived that I was that kind of person. Strong and capable. But cancleing my surgery was to much for even me. I am scheduled for surgery on January 8th and yes my mom is flying in to Spokane on Monday to be with me and My son will be there as well and all I can say is thank goodness I don't have to do this on my own.
   — Linda L.

January 5, 2002
Would your ex stay and watch the kids if your appendix burst & you were having emergency surgery? Your comorbids have waited long enough. Pack up the children, drop them off for two weeks and let you ex figure out the child care arrangements. After all, they do have two living parents. Good luck :-)
   — Barbara B.

January 5, 2002
I am not trying to be a naysayer but...i can't imagine not having had someone there to pamper me alittle bit. By pamper I mean making my food and getting my meds the first week. I was hurting and very very tired. Of course, some of that was from the pain meds but I slept alot. Someone said you will be better after the first week...good luck to you and I hope that that is true. For me, it took a good 3 weeks to feel like myself again. I actually told my ex a lie. I know that's not good but I didn't want him to know that I was having this surgery first of all, and secondly, if I had told him, he would be been vindictive and said what yours did. Therefore, I told him it was heart surgery (God forgive me). I knew it had to be real impressive for him to agree to take my daughter for a month. Yes, I lied and no she didn't stay a month but 3 weeks and that was enough time for me to heal. I really urge you to have someone there either family, friend, or someone from your church or something. If you don't or can't, ask the doc about a home health aide for a few hours a day. Ins would probably pay for that. You DO NOT want to be showering and such without someone there just in case and she can also fix your "food" whatever that might be. Good luck to you
   — Barbara H.

January 5, 2002
I was divorced, with one child, when I had surgery. It was a little scary, but it did not take long to get back into the swing of things. And actually having a child around helped. Do not worry. As long as you have some support, emotionally, while you are going through this, that is the most important thing of all. You do really need to care for yourself during the surgical period. We are all here to support you as well!!!
   — twenc

January 6, 2002
Make sure YOU go to Vegas after you get down to goal weight! Then tell him what a GREAT time you had! What a jerk! I agree with the previous poster - drop the kids off and let him figure out what to do with them. It'll be a little inconvenient for him, but they'll be fine! Time to think about YOU and what YOU need!
   — Angie M.