Question:
Terrified! How can I get myself through the stages of fear?

I am so terrified. I am just in the qualifying stage. I can't imagine what I will be like when it's time for surgery. I have been praying and asking God to guide me. Does anyone have any ways I can help myself get through this? All comments are welcome!    — Sandra C. (posted on December 2, 2001)

December 2, 2001
You're not alone. I think this whole WLS is somewhat of a rolloer coaster we go up and down w/ our emotions, and smoetimes our weight too LOL. Ive been waiting since Feb. of this year. I've gone through the insurance denial thing. But thanks to God my surgery is on Dec. 12th!!! When I finally got approved I was soooo exited for about 3 days, then the reality set in... I'm really having the surgery, what if I die etc. all those silly things that run through our minds. I am now at peace w/ the surgery, but now wondering how to get all that water and protien in a 2 oz. pouch!!! so I guess we will all go through different stages through our journey. Remember.. You're never alone on this site!! God Bless
   — Cindee A.

December 2, 2001
I don't really have an answer, but I'm in the same exact situation. This is my first posting. I'm in the process of application and such, and still facing all the what ifs...and should I really do this. I know this doesn't really answer your question, but I hope it gives you some comfort to know that you're not alone. I too have been praying about this and speaking to as many people as possible who have had this done. If you have any advice or come to any solutions, please let me know also. Thanks.
   — Straley S.

December 2, 2001
with me i was at the end of my rope . i knew that it was now or i would die i was scared but i knew i had to try one last thing. i hope this helps
   — Julie B.

December 2, 2001
READ READ READ!! Replace your fears with knowledge. The internet is a world of information on this surgery and for everything you learn a feeling of fear is replaced.
   — elifritz

December 2, 2001
I had my surgery just last week (11-28). Forget the death issue as it is not that high risk, my guess is the majority of deaths are from surgery in general and a small number are from the super obese.It is no picnic especially for me as I am 47 and had never been in the hospital before or been seriously ill.The pain is not really a problem either as you have a morphine pump you control yourself. I stopped using any pain medication on the third day and really only need it for occasional gas build up. The worst parts for me were,the hard hospital bed, the gas, missing my pooches and a few of the obnoxious nurses. All in all the event itself is not horrible like a car wreck.Be prepared though..when I got home on the 4 day I was so happy to be home I thought I would celebrate with something yummy....wrong! That old deal is out the door, fortunatly though your body does not want it so more than half the battle is already won. I'm sure when I am 6 months post op and down a hundred or more I will be like everyone else and say it was well worth it..good luck..
   — Greg S.

December 2, 2001
I had to wait 8 months for my surgery. During that time, I spend every available moment researching, and preparing for WLS. Making lists, purchasing foods allowed, reading labels..etc. I kept really busy being excited and knew that I would never have second thoughts. When surgery was 2 weeks away, I started to get really anxious, excited and a little scared. I asked God to give me peace, especially the night before, and I was, at peace with what I was doing as God has led me to this in the first place. If you are not religious, do things that are relaxing to you. My surgery, hospital stay and 3 1/2 weeks post op have been terrific. The pain is controlled in the hospital, you come home and you are losing weight. I am loving this. I hope your journey is every bit as successful. God Bless.
   — Cheri M.

December 2, 2001
Nothing will take away all of your fears, but researching will help alot! There is a book out there called "Going Under" that is wonderful and very comforting. When you find yourself saying "What if's" replace that with "I will!" You WILL do great! You WILL have an uneventful recovery.. and ya know what??? YOU WILL! Oh and a little Versed never hurt either (thats the stuff they give you in the induction area that makes you not care why your even there lol) Anything to positively reaffirm yourself....DO IT!
   — Tee G.

December 2, 2001
First your NORMAL so TRY to relax surgery isnt tomorrow morning. ATTEND some support group meetings, seeing happy healthy post ops os the best way to feel good about your decision. I found a nearby post op and invited her and her spouse to dinner. We had a great time and I was impressed with how good she looked, jen was really excited after this dinner. I will NOT cost you much, most post ops SHARE one meal with their spouses:) WE tend to eat small amounts of good food. Now surgery takes a long time, and thats at least partially by design. It gives us time to decide if were really want to do this. Surgeons depend on insurance approvals and a bunch of reversals wouldnt be good for future approvals. Spend as much time here as needed, for support a questions you have. Check my profile, I keep adiary, the post op section is interesting reading. You should buy a book, barbara thompson a member here wrote a great one, we called it ur bible for a time pre op, e mail me for her link, she hasa nice monthly free newsletter too. Congrats your about to get a new healthier life for the BOTH of you!
   — bob-haller