Question:
Can my boss tell my co-workers about my WLS if I tell her it is in strict confidence?

I work for a big company. My boss is fair and understanding. I want to tell her the truth about my WLS but I don't want her to tell my co-workers. If I tell her this in the stictest of confidence, is she allowed to still tell my co-workers?    — [Anonymous] (posted on November 18, 2001)

November 18, 2001
You are asking a "legal" question on a non-legal issue. A boss/subordinate relationship is not a protected relationship in regard to confidentiality (as is lawyer/client, doctor/patient, priest/confessor). There is, so to speak, a moral issue in regard to respecting someone's request to keep a confidence, but no legal obligation. My suggestion is, unless you are absolutely sure that this woman will respect your request to keep this matter just between the two of you and, at the same time, you really do not want anybody else at work (or elsewhere)to find out, you do not confide in your her. The best kept secret is one that is not shared. In the meantime, I wish you the very best of luck with the surgery and the results. Nancy
   — Nancy Z.

November 18, 2001
What difference does it make once your post op for awhile? NOT telling people will start them speculating that you have cancer, AIDS, or other dreaded disease. Better to tell them the truth... You cant hide the big weight loss, be PROUD of what you choose to do, the information may filter to another needy MO person. It could save anothers life.
   — bob-haller

November 18, 2001
I would be really disappointed in her/him if she/he said anything after you telling them not to. I told my boss and the office manager and that was all. I took off one month and when I returned about 30 lbs thinner everyone was curious to know the secret to my new found success. I did choose to tell everyone at that point. I am really happy that everyone knows...my co-workers are sooooo supportive. So....pre-op if you are uneasy with it dont say a word and warn your boss how you feel. After you will be happy to tell everyone!!!!!
   — Melissa S.

November 18, 2001
Was it Ben Franklin who wrote, "Two can keep a secret if one is dead."? If you want your operation kept secret, keep it to yourself. If you want it known, do nothing; unless they're all dumb as stumps, they'll start figuring it out eventually.
   — Chuck O.

November 18, 2001
i work in a small office but i told them all..i figured better hear the truth from me!!! anyhow my friend didnt want anyone to know not even her boss..i just said then maybe say, i have to go in for some surgery...if they ASK what kind, say, something like...its intentinal or its bowels or something like that.....you know dont lie but dont offer more than they ask about....after all, they have to know why your taking off if you ask off for any unusual amount of time...its normal to wonder where you are!!! As far as legal???? This you might check with your big companys office leave/vacation policy person...good luck
   — Jackiis