Question:
Will I have as much self control and discipline as I want after surgery?
This may seem like and odd question, but it has been hovering over me for days and days. I am 22 days away from surgery and I would like to believe that afterwards I can be Superwoman. Anyone out there who went in with extreme motivation to eat the right portions, stick to liquids and soft foods for as long as you are supposed to, get your protein, avoid carbs, get all of your water in, exercise every day, no grazing, etc, etc...only to find out after that you just can't be perfect about it? I see so many people who break little rules here and there. They may be itty-bitty non-consequential rule breaking, but none-the-less I really don't want to do that at all. I am afraid though, that no matter how positive I think now, that it is going to be impossible later. Did anyone feel like this and still manage to do it? Anyone who felt like this going in and found out after that they just couldn't? I know...I am a neurotic freak, but help! — PaulaM (posted on November 4, 2001)
November 4, 2001
Wow! Paula, PLEASE try to relax. I think it may just be pre-op jitters, but
you seem really stressed out. First of all, I hate to burst your bubble,
but NOT ONE of us is perfect about everything after surgery. We can't be.
NO ONE is perfect. We are all human beings and yes, we slip up. And you
know what? That's the BEST thing about this surgery. We don't HAVE to be
perfect in order to succeed. If we could be perfect, we probably wouldn't
have a need for this surgery in the first place. They do not operate on
your brain. It is only your stomach & intestines. If you honestly
expect to be perfect, I can only suggest that you may not be ready for WLS.
Your expectations may be somewhat too high. There is nothing wrong with
STRIVING to be perfect, but please don't set yourself up for failure and
depression by expecting perfection. That way, when you do screw up, and
since you are human, you will, it's going to be fine. You'll just pick
yourself up and start over, or better yet, just pick up where you left off.
It will not be impossible to lose weight or to follow your doctor's post op
plan, in fact it will be easy (probably)! HOWEVER, it worries me that you
want to be perfect. Please try to get your expectations in line with
reality. Yes, it will definitely be possible to reach your goal, to lose
weight and to stick to a plan, but remember none of us is perfect! Good
luck with your surgery. I'll keep you in my prayers.
— Maria H.
November 4, 2001
I wanted to. Had great intentions. But have cheated a few times. Not as
many as I did on other diets, mostly because even though the pounds don't
just dissappear (like I thought they would for some reason.)they do drop
off pretty fast and you see the results fairly quickly. That helps keep you
in line. Not the surgery. Well, some parts of the surgery keep you in line
like the dumping thing(which I don't do so I have to be especially strong
)The reason we choose this surgery is because we fail at diets and our
health is in serious need of a drastic change. For me, I want to eat
normally. I don't want to beable to eat the amount of food I used to - and
I can't. The surgery fixed that for me. I think everyone here on this list
has been successful in thier surgery. Whether they have cheated or not.
It's all trial and error. I think you will be just fine. You are beating
yourself up before you have the surgery. Save it for later when you are
going through that liquid diet and can't stand broth one more day:)
— K T.
November 4, 2001
Hi Paula....I think everyone wants to be this "superwoman" when
they have the surgery, in one way or another. I think your strong
motivation will help you out a lot, BUT, like Maria said, they don't
operate on your brain. I haven't had my surgery yet but I read all the
Q&A's on a daily basis. There seems to be, for some people, a thing
called "head hunger". That seems to be a tough thing to deal
with. I think when a person goes into this surgery knowing what obstacles
they may face, that it helps them deal with it a lot easier than someone
who doesn't understand what is going on. Your motivation is fantastic but
just remember that this is major surgery and you will have some recovery
time where you will feel like crap. Don't let those times "bring you
down". Just recognize these things as part of the process and accept
them and press on. I'm sure with your determination you will do GREAT!!
Good Luck!!
— Kim B.
November 4, 2001
Hi Paula, Like all of us you seem to be going thru a stressful time.
(pre-op jitters) I felt the same way you did before surgery. I had my lap
rouxny on 8/16/01 and have lost 61 lbs so far im more than 1/2 way there to
my goal. If I can do it you can do it! You need to remember when you come
out of surgery you will have a teeny tiny stomach which cannot hold more
than an ounce of two of food. You most likely will have no desire to eat
right away. For me the 1st month was the worst until my mind (brain) and
stomach caught up to each other and realized that I was not trying to
starve my body. You will feel so full from such small amounts and not
physically be able to eat that you will SUCCEED! I try to eat my proteins
everyday it is hard to get them all in. I do eat some carbs. and
occassionally I sneak a bite of some chocolate but a bite is all I desire
because more than that I get nauseous. (thank goodness) You will do great
once you come out surgery and all is well have a positive attitude and
enjoy the new and improved you and most of all enjoy the journey its
amazing! good luck
— Melissa S.
November 4, 2001
I had "planned" on being VERY good and doing
"everything" I was supposed to... well that lasted about 8
days.LOL! I was to be on a liquid diet for a week, which I did faithfully.
Then it was pureed foods for.. I think another three weeks but I forgot
exactly. But I NEVER did pureed foods. From day 8 on, I ate all regular
food but crewed the heck out of everything so it was liquid in my mouth. It
was around day 8-10 when I could'nt stand it any longer and went to Long
John Silvers and had some deep fried shrimp. Now I KNEW better than to do
this but no one in this world loves shrimp more than I do. And believe me,
I PAID DEARLY for doing what I KNEW I should not have done so early on! The
Bypass will keep you honest most of the time. I can eat some deep fried
foods now, but I don't crave it anymore but sometimes I'll have a piece or
too. The surgery has given me the freedom to enjoy a fatining treat
"once in a while" without thinking of doing it everytime I turn
around and eat. I was tormented by TV food commercials which rarely bother
me now. Do I do it all perfect??? NO WAY! Do I attempt to do right MOST of
the time??? I sure do! I love Zeigles hot dogs but with 17 grams of fat I
WILL NOT eat them often. But I'll eat very low fat or no fat dogs most of
the time then save the Zeigles for a treat if I know I'm going out with
family or friends. I even eat alittle pie occasionally. But the trick is
"occassionaly". Then I'll only eat three or four bites and leave
it in the frig for several hours or a day before I eat anymore. The sugar,
although I don't dump, makes me quezzy should I try to push it. Quite
frankly, I wish I would dump! But I have control to take it or leave it and
I'd rather leave it most of the time. I'm terrified of getting caught on
sugar again. From the age of four until my Bypass I never drank water, I
only lived on sugary pop. "I don't want to go back there".
I still drink "some" pop (diet only) but I put Splenda in it to
make it more sweet (like regular pop) and to take the fizz out of it. Then
I put in no fat, sugar free, vanilla ice cream and I can almost fool myself
into thinking it's a fatining treat.. especailly with the diet lemon coke.
It is SO GOOD! Some people say no pop ever again! For me, that is not
possible. I've lived on pop all my life and will never give it up
completely but have gone from 2 litters a day of regular pop to no more
than 12 ounces of diet pop once a day, but usually every 2 to 3 days. So
it's not often at all. Am I perfect? Nope. But I've made "little
changes" along the way that I can live with EASILY for the REST OF MY
LIFE "WITHOUT" feeling deprived. For me THIS is the KEY.
As far as "grazing" this has been my weakness all along. And by
the way, no one should ever admit this to a surgeon, dietitian or shrink!
But I was honest with "myself" that I HAD to overcome this. There
has been only around three days in the last 6 months that I felt a
"graze" coming on. But I knew the signs and niped it in the bud.
Sure I sometimes eat away from regular meal times, but not alot, and I try
to find something that is good for me. It's all about compromise and being
honest with yourself. And I WILL NOT beat myself over the head when I screw
up. AND SCREW UP I WILL! I'm human too... but and I know I deserve alittle
slack that I would readly cut to others. Be kind to yourself. :) Your body
is used to eating what it wants, when it wants. This surgery will give you
some time, and some will power to make needed changes along the way. USE
YOUR HEAD wisely during this time so when the weight loss DOES stop that
you will have those changes changed into HABITS (healthy habits). I'm
almost 6 months along and believe I have made some wonderful changes But if
I had to live my life without an "occassional" Zeigles, diet pop
(hate regular now), deep fried anything, pie, candy (please notice I said
"occassional") or anything like this, then I would not succeed. I
can do without these items MOST OF THE TIME "if" I know they are
not forbidden. It's forbiden foods that bring me down and as far as I'm
concerned NOTHING is forbiden, it's just an occasional treat
should I get to go out to eat with friends and family.
As far as not drinking water with or near meals, I can not do that! I got
too dehydrated. I drink WITH meals and any time I want! But I drink as
little as I can with meals. That is a compromise I can live with and since
I'm losing alot of weight and am not throwing up or eating more, I assume
it is working for me. We are all different. You will have to find
"your way" after surgery. Don't worry about these things. :)
Sorry about this being so long. Good luck and happiness!
— Danmark
November 4, 2001
Well I TRY, but am loosing good anyway and feel great. Read my profile, it
tells of some of these issues. Were only human, and nobody is 100% perfect.
Fortunately I dont crave foods like I did pre op although I dont dump and
can eat whatever I want. This is a blessing and a curse.Living with this
disease is a one day at a time thing.
— bob-haller
November 4, 2001
Wls doesn't change our basic personalities. Those who have "sill
power" and are focused and determined, pre-surg, will be that way
after the surgery. Following "the rules" will be easier for
them.
But, folks like myself, who have never been highly motivated and don't
have a lot of "will power", will have a more diffuclt time after
the
first year. This is only my personal opinion. After my rny, following
"the rules" was a breeze for 13 months. I had no desire for
sweets...I
couldn't stand the thought of cookies and cakes. I also didn't have much
of
an appetite; so I filled up easiy on protein and veggies. I never did
exersize
(...the motivation wasn't there) but I managed to lose 120lbs in 13 months
and I
was ecstatic. Then I "hit the wall"...my cravings for carbs
especially cookies
returned....I couldn't make myself join a gym. I was only 30lbs. from my
personal
goal. I "knew" what I had to do to reach it...30 lousy poounds
was so very achievable.
But, slipped back to bad habits and thought up excuse after excuse about
why I couldn't
work out at a gym. I gained 10 more pounds over two years...now I'm 40lbs.
over my goal.
I've been stable for well over a year and I would say I'b about 75%
compliant; so, according
to my surgeon and my nutritionist, I'll maintain this weight for life....if
I maintain the
status quo. I'm thankful for that, my life is 200% better that I could
have imagined it
before my rny and I'm a happy lady. But, I know that if I'd been a
stronger, more focused,
motivated individual, I could have met my goal...even exceeded it.
Pre-surg I was wearing
size 28's and 30's and size 10EEE gunboats for shoes. This morning I put
on my size 18 slacks
with a size 18 cashmere swater and my new high heeled black boots. I felt
and looked great....
but....a little voice kept saying. "You'd be wearing size 12's, if you
had some will power".
Don't make the mistakes I did. Maximize your weight loss.
— [Anonymous]
November 5, 2001
I was going to answer this anonymously but wondered who would really
benefit from it. I need to look myself in the face when I look in the
mirror, and need to take responsibility for my poor habits, even though it
is hard, and I knew it would be. For the first year or so I was pretty
good about the "rules" of being a post-op.I have done quite well,
losing 150 pounds. However, now that I have been plateaud for about four
months(I am 17 months post-op), I find myself craving sugar, carbs, and
having a really hard time getting motivated in getting back into an
exercise routine. I have gained five pounds, which is about to put me over
the edge. I am unsure why I am facing this difficulty...whether it is being
unmotivated, or self-sabataging, or whatever. I know how I SHOULD be
eating, WHEN I should be eating, WHAT I should not be eating...I can only
blame myself for this. I was this way before surgery, I felt out of control
then, and I feel that way now. I thought that my habit had been broken,
since I was doing pretty good the first year as a post-op. Now, however, I
cannot seem to get back on track. I am unsure how many people maintain
their strict post-op behaviors, but it would be interesting to find out. I
will say that I am constantly with a cup of sugarfree coffee, crystal lite
iced tea, or water in my hand. I always do still eat my proteins first, I
do dump on occasion, I do try to avoid carbs...but still crave them. Sugar
is my culpret though(in cookies, i do not dump, and other foods that I
never ate before surgery...like crackers, or chips.....that I now crave,
and am not sure why. Good luck. If you know that you have a problem, before
having surgery, you should know that it is definately possible that you may
have the problem as a post-op, or you may not.
— twenc
November 5, 2001
Several years ago, I had treatment for compulsive overeating. It included
several intense weeks of classes and support meetings. The biggest thing
that I learned from those meetings was that those that are compulsive
overeaters share a personality trait. That is the striving to perfection
and trying to be in control. This was sooooo me!! Since then I have learned
to just accept that I am not perfect and most things in life are out of my
control. This pursuit of perfection is what led me to be morbidly obese!! I
am now 10 months post and am enjoying the benefits of my lessons learned. I
am not obsessing over what I eat. I don't beat myself up and there are no
bad foods. I eat what I want in very small amounts and I no longer feel
guilty. It is such a liberating experience. I no longer feel the need to
hide and eat and try to keep others from knowing how much I eat. I feel
NORMAL. Fortunately, my surgeon feels that normalcy is good and that the
word diet shall never be uttered again!! Please, realize that you are human
and not perfect or you will set yourself up for constant frustration at
your expected limitations. Shelley
— Shelley.
November 5, 2001
Yes, I worried about all this, too. Of course, in my case, even a loss of
50# might've kept me alive. BUT I was also certain that it was not going to
work if I didn't follow "the formula". Also, by following that,
I didn't have to make any decisions. ANd that was nice. Should I or should
I not? NO question, it was all written down for me. Made me feel secure.
All the rebellion was gone from me (I was WAY too sick and had to beg WAY
to hard for ins to get it done). That was 7 years ago. AS to how I KEPT
going, kept that protein supps going in, milk & sugar out? Wearing
tiny sizes helps. I want to continue to do that. Any deviation from
"the formula" has cost me pounds. Going back to the formula keeps
it off. It's much easier to keep on doing something that WORKS. Because of
what I do, my "befores" are constantly in my sight. When I see my
befores, I lose my breath thinking of how hard it was for me to breathe.
Scares me straight!
— vitalady
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