surgery is in 3 days and im starting to get very emotional,kids are

my kids are 2,9 and 17 all boys and im a single mom no father involved just me, so im starting to feel guilty and scared and cry a lot, not in front of them, i find myself holding my baby and i just start to tear up the thought of not being there for him or his brothers is tearing me up, and yes i know if i dont get the weight off i might not be there anyway but it still does not take away from my fear now.When i leave for the hosp do i say see you later or should i prepare them 9, and 17 for the worse also if i dont tell them i could have complications and i die i worry they will be not only devastated but mad at me, has anyone been torn like this? i made a big mistake and read all the memorials and it made it worse.thanks for any advise on how some of you prepared your kids.

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