Post Op, has anyone been told or accused that you are insensitive?

I'm going to be real honest here. Since WLS, I've been accused or should I say *perceived* as being or saying rude things to others. It's simply not that way at all and because others seemingly feel that I have acted in these ways, I decided to really inquire about it in one of my groups. I've not been aware of this, and it is NEVER my intent to have said or do anything hurtful to anyone. Do you think it's because of where we're from? Past abuses or feelings or perhaps we just put up an imaginery wall to keep the hurt out? I don't know the answer, but I KNOW that I have changed for the better and I can't please everyone with what I say. Even when I'm asked something, directly, and give an answer, anymore I won't answer right away...I think about it for a while because of what others think. I won't use the excuse, "I'm only human", but I will say that you can't please everyone even when you know you have no malice or ulterior motive behind what you have said. C'mon, I pay close attention to the private emails from those that have scolded me...some are what I can say are dear friends. I don't want anything on my conscience. If I owe any apologies, and I'm made aware of it, I want to keep myself right and get the bad feelings another has felt as a result how I've been insensitive out of my heart so that I won't try to retaliate. It's time to do an "inventory" when those real friends and close to you tell you, "girlfriend, you could have said that a little better", huh? Perception matters, expecially since now I facilitate customer service training, I'm making it priority to be careful of what I say and HOW I say it. Have any of you felt this way...I mean really? Have you been told you're insensitive or cold? Or is it now, you feel bold enough to speak up now, when you were quiet as a mouse before? I've been speaking to my spiritual advisor who has been very understanding of some past issues I've had, but have told me to "pray, ask for forgiveness from those you have offended and mean it, and reconciliate with them." I may be asking for it, but I'm interested in what you're feeling about this and how, if you are guilty, you are handling it. Be honest. Have you ever felt this way or have done these things? Thanks for your responses. Hadiyah McCutcheon, a.k.a.~~

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