Seeking Others With "Image vs. Reality" Issues

I have been heavier than "normal" for as long as I can remember. I was teased in high school and called a "fat girl." Over the last few years, my weight has just steadily gone up. I am now a 23 year old pre-op, standing 5'8" tall and weighing in at 310 lbs, give or take a couple. It seems like I have been this huge and miserable forever. I think that I forgot what it was like to be just "overweight" instead of "mordibly obese." I was cleaning out my spare room over the weekend and found an old picture of myself. It was from when I had joined TOPS the first time. I was amazed at how I looked. I weighed about 175 pounds in the picture and looked great! Yet, at the time, I was convinced that I was so fat and had just joined TOPS to lose weight! That was just five short years ago. Now, I am angry with myself and confused on how I could have let myself get so much bigger in just five years. How could I have believed back then that I was fat? I looked very healthy (and happy, for that matter)! I was wondering if anyone else had experienced something similar. I feel now like I've been hiding behind my weight and that I made myself believe that I have been this weight forever. I can't wait to have my lap rny, which should be done during the first week of September as long as my pre-op tests on Aug. 1st go okay. I am hoping to get to my goal weight of 160 and wear a size 10. Does anyone with similar body type/weight/height think that is possible? I am also hoping to reduce the problem of skin sagging as much as possible with tons of water, regular exercise, and firming lotions. Any thoughts? People have told me previously that the skin problem has a lot to do with how long you've been MO. I just thought I'd put this issue out there and see if anyone else feels the same way I do.

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