Can very happy marriages fail after WLS?

I am really agonizing over this. The tears are flowing as I type. I've been haviing alot of trouble with my husband ever since my surgery, despite us being married VERY VERY HAPPILY for almost 12 yrs. now. I checked the database and found that 45-50% of marriages (that were previously rocky) failed after WLS. But what about marriages that were practically perfect? Can they fail after WLS too? Some background: When I was looking into WLS, my husband was totally against it. He thought it was too risky and he didn't want me to die. But upon more research on his part, his views changed and he became my biggest supporter. So, I went into my open distal RNY on 5/21/01 with him by my side. But now that I'm post-op, I have had to endure his CONSTANT policing of my diet, and whether I took my medicines or vitamins. What, does he think I'm a stupid bimbo that went into this surgery and doesn't know what is required afterwards? I try to assure him that I know perfectly well what & how much I can/can't eat. I understand the need for my medicines & vitamins and I am taking them. But he's relentless, constantly asking and probing, checking over my plate and calling me all the time on his cell phone, checking on me. We've been fighting alot which upsets my stomach, making it feel acidy. He is driving me insane. I don't know how much more I can take, but I CAN'T just leave him. I know he's crazy about me and it would kill him if I left him. I still love him even though he can be so pig-headed. Another thing is that he is morbidly obese being close to 400 lbs. He has sleep apnea and poor circulation in his legs (with a stasis dermatitis spot on his left leg). He's in total denial. He says that he'll NEVER go as far as surgery; that he'll loose weight in his "own way". His "own way" is obviously not working; he doesn't even make an effort. And I have to worry that one day soon he's just going to drop dead from a heart attack or stroke. So I have a problem with him policing my diet while he's stuffing his face with a super size Big Mac value meal (while I'm drooling). This is not just an example; this is what he's really doing. How do I get him to get off my back and to understand that I KNOW WHAT I NEED TO DO in my new post-op lifestyle?! And that I AM taking my meds & vits. and that I'm eating what I'm supposed to? Or is this marriage down the drain after 12 happy years?

We greatly appreciate your interest in helping us build our Q&A database. To discourage vandals from posting garbage, however, we require people to register before posting.

You must be logged in to post an answer. Click here to log in.