Would like to ask for help in dealing with feelings about being very apprehensive

about my upcoming surgery? Every day I seem to find myself crying & when asked what is wrong I really don't know what to say but part of it is related to the feelings I am having about surgery. I am afraid. The fears stem from thoughts of surgery itself & will I come through or not or will there be complications that have not been anticipated & if so will my insurance cover this. Another fear is will I be able to successfully win this battle after WLS. Right now I can not stand the idea of throwing up & if I do I always seem to get sicker from doing so. I have never liked milk and I hate powdered drinks like Slim Fast which is what I am afraid the protein is probably going to taste like. I believe in my heart that the surgery is the only option for me since I am at the point of almost not being able to get around & I will lose my job BUT I still have all these fears. I also am carrying around a huge amount of guilt since I know that I am the reason & the sole one that is reasonable for the my being in the shape I am in & now my family is having to carry much of this burden --financially since our insurance will not pay but also I am having to rely on them to do things for me because I am unable to do them myself. It makes me feel really sad so I find it hard to express to them why I am sad or crying. What if I go through this surgery & I am not able to do what is expected of me then I fail again so I guess this is still another fear. Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks for listening.

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