HELP!!! Lately all I wanna do is eat...am I really ready for this?

This question has probably been asked many times...but I guess I'm looking for more insight for my personal case. As you will read from my profile this surgery process has taken much longer than expected. I was supposed to have surgery in May but due to my insurance I won't be having it till Oct/Nov. I'm supposed to be really preparing myself and I haven't had much motivation. I don't know if anyone has a compulsive eating/bulimia disorder and has had this. Basically I'm a drug addict and food is my drug of choice. I'm supposed to be losing weight so I can have lap surgery but I feel so horrible all I want to do is eat to numb the pain. (Long story...my profile really goes into great detail). I'm wondering if anyone has been in the same boat with the eating disorder and if they got more help, just dealt with it, etc. I'm not as worried about the surgery itself, just with everything that's going on is if this is the right solution in the long term. Any insight or advise would be greatly appreciated-thanks a bunch! :)

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