Ok, here it goes...I haven't admitted or talked about this to anyone .....

I am happily married to a wonderful man. I have lost all of my weight, and am at goal. I look good for the first time in my life and feel terrific. What's the problem you ask? Well, I'm having thoughts about what it would be like to be "wanted" by a man other than my husband. I feel SO guilty even admitting this. My whole life I've been overweight with a low self esteem. I didn't date at all and luckily my husband saw through my weight and married me for my good qualities instead. But since I've become a new woman on the outside, men look at me now and I can't help wondering what it would be like to be in the dating scene again as a "normal" size woman - having lots of choices in men. Isn't that awful? I have dreams about men coming on to me and catering to me and telling me how beautiful I am. I would never tell my husband about this because I'd never want to hurt him - he's so precious to me - but I don't trust myself if a handsome, successful man came on to me. I wonder if I might stray and I feel so badly even admitting that!! Anyone else fighting these feelings? Part of me wishes I wasn't married and could date lots of different men now and have the life I never had. How pitiful. I'm so depressed over this! Thanks for any help you can give or similar feelings you can share. Please don't send hurtful messages, I don't need that, I already feel guilty enough and I haven't even done anything except had these thoughts and feelings!I haven't seen this issue addressed before. Maybe I'm the only freak!

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