Please help me get motivated!!!

I have been overweight all my life, at the age of 5 I weighed 100 lbs, in one time of my millions of diets I have gotten down to 135 at the age of 18, I am now 35 and weigh 336...This WLS surgery has been a dream for me...I am with Kaiser and have been trying to get the surgery since July of last year...I finally have been approved, and went to my evaluations apts..in San Deigo, now I am just waiting for a surgery date...my surgeon gave me a list of things to start...water, walking, protein, BUT I CANT GET MOTTIVATED TO DO IT!!! I am getting scared that I wont be ready for the surgery..please help!! I dont know what is wrong with me..this is my dream...I think maybe I dont believe it is going to finally happen....but I keep telling myself it is...PLEASE HELP ME!!!

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