Does anyone have a fear of being thin before having surgery?

OK I searched and I have not seen this question, and it is something that is weighing heavily on my mind. Did/Does anyone have a fear of being thin !? You can read all this in my profile but, I have been fat all my life, and by that I mean since I was 5-6 I have been dramatically bigger then everyone around me. Being fat is all I know. It is as much a part of me as anything has ever been and I have no idea HOW to be thin. It scares me. I have spent most of my 20's accepting who I am and FINALLY, at 29 and 584 pounds, after a life of being fat I can look at myself in the mirror and say that I like who I am at any size. I would not be even considering the surgery if it weren't for two things. One is that I am tired of the pain. As many of you know...being fat (especially this fat) is a daily struggle of pain. I have pack pain and leg pain and etc. and frankly I am tired of it. The other reason is that my step-father just died. He was a large man as well and I saw what years of being fat did to him. I look in my mothers eyes and I see her concern. I look at myself and see the same problems he was having and think that I could easily be where he was. I don't want to be. I am not ready to be thinking about death at 29, but I wonder if I will loose who I am if I am thin. Maybe it is just that I am afraid that I will have to re-start my life again. I worked hard on this one and I hate to have to start over. Maybe it is just my own paranoia, but I would like to know if anyone had/has these feelings too.

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