Post Op, At Goal- Question on Dating
Now that I have lost my weight, I've been asked out a lot by men. I never dated before and I'm 30. I know there are men who liked women my size and I was sometimes asked out, but I was just to shy to go. I'm not as shy as I used to and I've been dating lately. I don't know what to do when I find someone I am interested in. They talk about previous relationships while I am just quiet. I just say I don't date much. They always ask why and I usually just say I focused on my schooling and my career. I don't want to lie, but I don't want to say I was over 300 pounds and was shy. I am not going to lie to men about my weight loss and my surgery, but do I have to bring it up on the first or second date? Am I being dishonest by not mentioning I was a former fatty? I worry about that and I worry about the scars from my plastic surgery, the hanging skin that hasn't been removed yet and my stretch marks. I feel like I am hiding all of this and should come out and tell them right away that I might look thin and normal, but I was once fat and my body shows that. The last man I was with talked about not being attracted to heavy women. He didn't say it in a mean way, but he mentioned that if friends of his saw him with her they would laugh at him. I didn't say anything, but I felt phony. Is it wrong not to tell? I mean do I have to spill my guts right away? Please help!
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