9 weeks out - getting depressed...

Hello all, I have been dreading and dreading posting a message about this but I can't take it any longer, I need some feedback from those that have "been there done that". I have done it anonymously because I feel like such a failure, I know thats a cowards approach but right now that is how I feel. My beginning weight was 341, I am 5'3 and had an open rny with about 2 feet of intestine bypassed. By the end of my hospital stay 5 days later, I was 348, when I went to my 1 week check up, I had a loss of those 8 pds I gained of fluids and another 13. I then went to a pcp visit 3 weeks later, and was at 321. Now at 9 weeks out I fluctuate betteen 305 and 310 on my quacky home scales. That would be an approximate loss not including the fluids in hospital gain, a loss of 31 to 36 pds. At 2 months post op with me being in the 300 pound range, I just thought I would lose more in those first two months. Now I am worried that I will not even come close to a healthy weight during this 6 month "honey moon" period. As far as what am I doing...well I am admittably not getting in all the water. I drink spring water, or crystal light but am only getting between 16 and 32 ounzes of it. I always feel so full when I drink water and on I tend to experience some discomfort too. I take all my vitamins faithfully. I get anywhere between 40 to 65 grams of protein through shakes etc. and I consume anywhere between 300 to 800 in calories a day. I avoid carbs, I don't eat fatty foods. I can't and don't try to tolerate sugars. I primarily eat protein foods first and then on to other things later if I need it, which I generally don't. As far as exercise is concerned, I should be doing much more. I was doing a walking tape every other day but since my slow loss, I have been disappointed and depressed. I know I should be the opposite and work harder. There are others that had their surgery on the same day as myself or near by that are not eating appropriately, not exercising, not doing their water, protein, and vitamins and they are by far surpassing me in their weight loss (same surgeon as well). I know I shouldn't compare and we all lose at different rates, I know I need to exercise more, and I know I need to get more water in. So are those my problems? Is part of this really mental strength resulting in better weight loss? I am really in a depressed state about this but try so hard to make sure I put on a happy face for others. Any advice would be welcome. It would be especially nice to hear from those that were about my same weight and height, that lost slowly. I know I have never lost 31-36 pds before on any other diet in 2 months, but I still feel like a failure. Perhaps it is that old mentality and fear of failing at every diet I have ever tried. I am so scared that I am going to be the ONE that fails at this drastic surgery that I wanted so badly. I have read all the other posts in the plateaus sections but really needed to just get my frustrations and disappointment out. Thank You for listening...

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