do you have a date yet? how do u make the time go by faster?

i have a surgery date of march 11 2003 how do you pass the time by with out going crazy....it has taken me almost a year to get my date...navy doctors i also am looking for a angel in the norfolk va area... i am struggling with my decsion to do this...i am 32 years old...over weight 10 years now...i have one 14 and 13 year old kids...i have been married 16 years...and i am scared some thing bad is going to happening...i am due to have lap. i have nightmares and i feel so lost some times...everyone says i carry my weight well...i don't get any grief from being over weight ...because every ones says i have a pretty face..i get so sick of beig told ...you have a very pretty face....what about the rest of me????i feel like changing my mind on some days....but i am too young to be loaded down with fat...not being able to feel free...i just want to feel free... thanks for listening... first time user...

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