Please help me... I am 11 days pre-op and I am feeling depressed and hating myself

Please help... I'm 11 days pre-op and feel like I am going into a downhill spiral. I am bipolar with OCD and anxiety disorder also. Once I finished all of my pre-op preparation and realized that my surgery is just around the corner, I saw myself in the mirror... I think for the first time. I actually saw my morbidly obese self, and I hate what I saw. I've been under control mentally for a very long time, and all of the sudden I hate myself, am depressed, and do NOT want to leave my home until the day of the surgery. I find myself embarassed to be in public because I look like a disgusting blob. I HATE MYSELF!!! Wow... it has been years since I've hated myself this much. The anxiety, depression, ocd... etc.. is really getting the best of me. PLEASE HELP!!! ANY SUGGESTIONS OR COMMENTS WELCOME! Thanx

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