I have a BMI of probably 40-42 now, I am having second thoghts

I went to a BBW where all the people had to be closer to 400lbs and i felt like the smallest one there. I have lost 25 lb on Meridia over the past 3-4 mo and I am getting cold feet. I know once I stop taking the pills I will gain it back. I also have severe pain, arthritis, reflux and a very positive family hx for Diabetes and heart disease. Am I being silly by getting cold feet/ I am 5ft, 215 . Can anyone else with a low BMI give me some encouragement

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