Hate to admit it but I am scared to death(no pun intended)

Last November my family doctor told me I needed to lose the weight and that I needed this type of surgury done to help save my life. I was scared like I have never been scared before. I have gone thru all the B/S with the insurance I had where I work(am no longer imployed there because they thought I was pulling an insurance scam) but now I am on a state funded insurance and the proceedure has been approved and everything looks good to go with in the next few months. Had seen the pschy doctor and the nurtionist and they say I am ready. I feel ready. I want the operation. I cant wait till I get it done. But I am still scared to hell and back. I want it...I need it to live....i dont want to live the way I am and die. But I am still scared. I am afraid that things will go wrong cause of something the hospital does wrong....or one the assitains does something wrong...or I do something wrong. I dont know anymore. it semas that everyone that has had the type of operation lives no where near me and all I have is family and my religous group to be my support group. BUt are they enought? Can they deal with the stress that I will be going thru? Do they know what to do if something goes wrong? So many questions and I dont know where to go anymore. I believe that I will be the first to have the operation done up here on the mountain and who do I turn to when I need the help? I know that I have you guys but you all know that at times you need that human touch from someone who has been there and knows what you are going thru. I just dont know anymore guys. I want it but I am scare too. Do I have the right to be scared or am I just making a mountain out of mole hill? Thanks for being here for me.

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